If You Can't Beat 'em, Eat 'em!
by Meowth's Toon Dragon
Summary: After a run-in with an acclaimed and obnoxious eating champion, Rainbow Dash and Applejack find themselves going up against the braggart... but if they lose, more than their pride will be at stake...
1. Clearing the Clouds

Note: I do not own MLP or any of its characters, Hasbro does. I do not own Meowth, Nintendo does. I do not own Joshua Rocket... wait a second, yes I do.

* * *

><p>"So you understand it?"<p>

Rainbow Dash looked at the new recruit for cloud duty with hope in her eyes, especially since she had grown close to this particular special recruit. You see, it wasn't any pony, but rather a human being with pegasus wings.

"I think so.", Joshua James Rocket asked, his velvety wings keeping him up in the air as he listened to Rainbow Dash instruct him on the new routine for her plan to get all the clouds over Ponyville removed in record time so they could knock off early from their duties and meet up with the others at Sugarcube Corner for lunch, "it sounds pretty complicated, but I think I can do it. I'm just glad Meowth's not here, he'd be scared out of his wits!"

The pegasus nodded, thinking about Josh's cat-pokemon companion, still trying to figure out what exactly a pokemon was, the teen even having trouble accurately explaining to her. Originally his plushie, Luna had used her magic to give him life, a personal favor to the teen. Josh had thought it'd be a lot harder to get the princesses to agree to help him, but as he found out... having a steel rope dug into your knees so bad it took a week for all the flesh over the caps to be fully healed even WITH magic tends to make alicorns feel a lot more sympathy for you. As it was he was STILL limping a bit, a trait that he hoped would go away soon.

"He probably would. But enough talk! Let's rock! On my mark...", Rainbow Dash commanded, getting herself into a position ready to barrel into the clouds.

"Get set...", Josh listened as he repeated the stance, his energy on high. This was his first day and he was raring to put his new wings into action!

"GO!"

Without wasting a second, the two pegasi took to the clouds, zooming through each one and dissapating them into bits. The feeling of the winds in their faces, blowing through their hair, was almost euphoric. No matter how many times the rainbow-maned pegasus felt it, it always gave her a rush like no other and she could only imagine how the teen was feeling as they soared through the clouds leaving a rainbow streak behind her. The way they were moving allowed the beams of rainbow light to form into a giant star, one that shone in the sky much to all the ponies and pegasis awe. With one last corkscrew spin, Rainbow Dash and Joshua Rocket shredded the last cloud into oblivion before the two of them descended to the ground and posed for the applauding ponies.

"THAT is what we call getting it done!", Rainbow Dash remarked, giving Josh a low-five.

"What a way to put my wings to use!", the teen replied as he looked at their cloud leader, a gruff looking brown pegasus with a white hard hat as his cutie mark, descended to the ground.

"Joshua! Dash! That was amazing!", he cheered, "You got those clouds taken out in 10 seconds flat!"

"So what else is new, heh heh.", Rainbow Dash grinned, "It helps when you've got a second pair of wings by your side!"

Josh couldn't help but blush at the compliment before he looked at the forepegasus. "Mr. Hammerhead, sir... since we're all done with the clouds and getting the sky cleared for the next few days of clear weather, is it alright if me and Rainbow Dash knock off a little early? We were going to meet up with our friends at Sugarcube corner for a bite to eat."

The cyan pegasus couldn't help but give Josh an odd look at hearing his honesty. She'd gotten an excuse all ready saying how all the spins had made her feel sick and she wanted to get home for some rest. But the look on the gruff pony's face said it all.

"I suppose since you two did a decent job, youse both can take off. Just don't expect such leniency next time!", he cautioned with a grin.

"Awesome! Thanks Hammy!", Rainbow Dash cried as she and Joshua took off for Sugarcube Corner, leaving a frustrated forepegasus behind.

"FOR DA LAST TIME, MY NAME IS HAMMERHEAD! NOT HAMMY!", he called after the two pegasi before shaking his head in annoyance.

"When am I gonna get through to you, Rainbow Dash..."


	2. A RunIn With Rudeness and Reorganizing

"You shoulda seen it!"

Rainbow Dash was busy telling the others, Meowth included, all about what her and Josh had done in getting the clouds cleared so quickly. All the while everypony else was slurping on shakes and munching on pastries at one of the tables inside the bakery.

"It was like zoom zam zoop!", Rainbow Dash exclaimed waving her hooves in the air with a flourish that would have rivaled that of Pinkie Pie before taking a bite from her pie and talking, crumbs spraying everywhere through her muffled speech, "We lit up the sky! It was so awesome!"

"Yech...", Rarity groaned, shielding herself from the crumb shower, "Say it, don't spray it!"

Applejack merely grinned as she munched on the triple-decker smore and butter sandwich she had ordered. "Sounds like you both were workin' up a mighty storm!"

"Nah... It wasn't anything special...", Josh blushed, "Rainbow Dash did all the real work."

"Don't be so shy!", Meowth added getting a nod from Fluttershy, "It sounds like ya did a darn good job!"

"Yeah!", Twilight added, "I saw the sky on my way here. It looks beautiful!"

This brought a blush from both Josh and Rainbow Dash and made the others giggle as the pegasus swallowed with pride.

"Well, like I've said before, I'm the best there is here!", she boasted.

"Oy.. here we go again..", Applejack muttered as she turned back to her sandwich. But before the cyan equine could say anything, a sharp husky voice cut her off.

"Oh I do beg to differ, oh ho ho!"

Hearing that voice made the cowpony, as well as everyone else but Josh and Meowth roll their eyes in annoyance.

"Not him again...", Applejack muttered.

"Every year he does this... why here?", Fluttershy whimpered.

"Who?", Josh couldn't help but ask. "Who is it?"

"Huh! I see someone here doesn't know of the great Champange!"

Turning around, Josh got a good look at who the others were shirking from. It was a large white unicorn, although the aura around him was far from the one around Rarity and Celestia, rather one of narcissism and false pride. A wave of thick blonde hair comprised its mane and tail, a mark depicting a giant sandwich with an olive in it adorning its flank.

"I'm surprised someone hasn't heard of the royal eater and conniseur of Equestria!", he boasted.

"You think you're so special just because you can gorge yourself?", Rarity replied, "That's just grotesque!"

"What makes you so much better than us?", Applejack demanded, "Just because your stomach's massive doesn't mean your ego should be too!"

"Whoa! Whoa!", Meowth cried, putting his paws up to try and stop the argument before he spoke again, "Could someone tell me and Josh who dis guy is?"

"Hmph! It's typical a new nobody like him knows nothing about my greatness! I'm the 10-time champion of the Equestria-Wide Royal Eater's Competition!"

"The wha?", Josh asked as he scratched his head bewildered.

"Ugh...", Rarity groaned, rolling her sapphire-colored eyes, "It's this ghastly eating competition where a bunch of ponies get together to see who can gorge the most food down before revisiting it..."

"Yeah, and ChamPAIN here has won it 10 years in a row!", Rainbow Dash added, making Meowth snicker and the unicorn snort in disdain.

"I have set a streak unlike any other equine in Equestria... one I know not even your shoddy Rainbow Dash could end!", he scoffed.

"Wait just a second!", Applejack growled, "Rainbow Dash could beat you in 10 seconds flat! I could do the same!"

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but blush a bit at Applejack standing up for her, but she cleared her throat and joined in. "Yeah! We're two of the biggest chowponys in all of Ponyville!"

"I can back that up...", Fluttershy whispered to Meowth, "I've seen Rainbow Dash put away 4 full pizzas after a hard practice and Applejack can wolf down a buffet quicker than any other pony here."

The cat-pokemon whistled as he looked at Rainbow Dash. "So why not join?", he asked.

This made the unicorn burst out in laughter. Hearing the snobby equine howling in laughter made the cowpony and pegasus both scowl at him in anger.

"And just what is so dang funny?", Applejack asked with a snarl.

"You two... you think YOU could beat me?", Champange whooped, "That is richer than my expensive chocolates! A cowpony and a scruffy pegasus beating a world-champion glutton?"

"Hey, who says they couldn't beat you?", Pinkie Pie piped in, "I could beat you too you big meanie! But I'm getting paid big bits for announcing it!"

"Yeah, you're just using that as a pitiful excuse to hide the fact you can't beat me..."

"Ok! THAT'S IT!", Rainbow Dash shouted as she got to her hooves, bumping the table and nearly spilling the milkshakes, "You think we're small stuff? Well I think maybe I'll be joining that competition after all!"

"Count me in too, sugar!", Applejack shouted, standing beside her, "We'll both whoop you in anything!"

"Oh?", Champange asked bemused, "And how do you two ruffians expect to get trained in time?"

"I'll do it!"

As everyone looked towards him, Josh got to his feet and pounded the table. He had never heard such a blowhard in his life and it was getting on his last nerve... especially when he was mocking his friends. "I'll train them! Hell, I bet we'll all help, right?"

"Yeah!", Pinkie Pie squealed rubbing her hooves, "It'll be super-duperiffic fun!"

"I... I could prepare some good dishes for them...", Fluttershy added.

"I'll help with exercises for their bellies!", Twilight piped in.

"I'll get together some big recipes for dem!", Meowth added as well.

"Well count me out!", Rarity scoffed, turning away, "This is one contest I want no part of! If you want to go ahead and make yourselves vomit, that's all on you."

"Well look at it this way," Champange grinned, "At least when they spew, they can use your ratty clothing to wipe themselves down!"

That one sentence produced an almost audible snap in the fashionestra's head as she looked at the fellow unicorn, her eye twitching in shock. Everyone else, even Rainbow Dash, was scared to say anything. If they knew anything about Rarity, it was simply this... NEVER EVER INSULT HER WORK!

"What... did you say?", Rarity whispered, barely containing her rage.

"Your designs always were pathetic! Compared to my own private designers, barf bags is all those scraps are good for! In fact, I bet that's why you got passed over by Photo Finish!"

This left the element of Generosity sputtering and stumbling as she tried to speak. Seeing her at a loss for words, Champange grinned and turned to head off.

"If you choose to do yourselves in trying to beat me, that's up to you... it'll be fun to watch you both fail like every other eater! Ta-ta!"

With that, the blonde-maned unicorn strolled off, using his magic to steal not only Applejack's sandwich, but the sandwiches of the two pegasi at the next table over. Rarity couldn't do anything but look in shock at him heading off. As scared as the others were, they knew one of them had to break the silence and to their surprise, it was Fluttershy who spoke first!

"Rarity... are you ok?"

It was then Rarity let out a scream, one of sheer unfiltered rage. It was so loud Twilight swore she could hear the windows in the library rattle from the vibrations. Meowth had to cover his big ears from the sound in order to stop the ringing that was going through his head and Applejack was faring no better, pulling her hat down on her ears to try and diminish the sound somewhat. Rainbow Dash, Josh, and Fluttershy were trying to use their wings to shield their own hearing, to no avail. It was almost 15 seconds before her scream finally died down, allowing the others, as well as every other pony in a 4-mile vicinity, to uncover their ears. As they all looked at her in shock, they could see her face was no longer white, but now beet red! Even her irises seemed to glow with that red sheen and it scared the bits out of all of them.

"HE... CALLED MY WORK... SCRAPS!", she roared, her voice so fiery it was a miracle flames weren't spraying from her throat, "HOW... DARE... HE!"

Finally, she turned towards Rainbow Dash and Applejack, both of whom were looking at her in a mix of shock and fear. "Count me in! I'll make beautiful blankets for you both... We'll show that horse's ass whose work is nothing but scraps! Gahh!"

With that, the unicorn ran off with steam still almost literally shooting from her ears and leaving 5 ponies, a human, and a cat-pokemon looking at her in shock for a few moments before all the eyes turned back towards Rainbow Dash and Applejack.

"Are you two sure you want to do this?", Twilight asked again, "You do know what this could end up leading to, right?"

"So we lose our lunches once or twice... it'll be worth it to put that creep in his place!', the pegasus asserted.

"No one backtalks Applejack and gets away with it!", Applejack added with a snort, "Why we're two of the most skilled ponies around!"

"Somehow I don't tink dey're joking..", Meowth thought to himself before he turned towards Twilight, "So what do we do to help dem train?"

"Well first thing is to gather everyone at the library so we can strategize!"

"Um, wouldn't it be better to meet at Sugarcube Corner... since there's so much food there?", Josh asked only to be met with a shake of disagreement from the unicorn.

"If we're going to do this right, we need to plan a schedule and everything... Everyone follow me!", she replied before trotting off towards the library and leaving Meowth looking at her in awe for a moment before he turned to Pinkie Pie.

"Is she always that stuck on details?"

"Hee hee, you should see her at our annual Winter Wrap-Up!", Pinkie Pie laughed before she went off after her with Meowth and Fluttershy following behind. But Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Josh stayed behind.

"Are you guys sure about this?", Josh couldn't help but ask.

"That creep called us lame!", Rainbow Dash seethed.

"He called us pathetic!", Applejack added before they both spoke in unison.

"NO ONE TALKS ABOUT US LIKE THAT AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

Without wasting another second, the two equine sped off towards the others leaving just Josh standing at the table for a few seconds.

"Rainbow Dash, my love... Applejack, one of my best friends...", he whispered to himself as he picked up his half-drunk shake from the table and slurped from it, "I'll do all I can to help you both..."

Finishing the chocolatey treat, Josh set the cup back down on the table and took to the air. His legs were still a bit wobbly from his limp so he tried to fly whenever he could... he just hoped that soon he'd be able to walk again.

* * *

><p>As everyone gathered in Twilight's library home, the unicorn couldn't help but be amazed at the group that had amassed. Not only had all her friends shown up, but Sweetie Belle and Rarity's parents Diamond and Jewel, as well as Granny Smith, Applebloom, and Scootaloo as well. But the question was why?<p>

"I thought you told me only your friends, Meowth, and Josh were gonna be showing up.", Spike remarked, "Why are Rarity and Applejack's families here too?"

"Spike, I'm as lost as you are..", Twilight admitted before Rainbow Dash flew up next to her.

"I told them all!", she grinned before heading back over to Applejack, since they were both the subjects of the gathering.

"Yeah!", Granny Smith chirped in through her shaky voice, "Seems her and my Applepoo are going in for some fancy eat-em-off!"

"That Champange... he's always been a thorn in Canterlot's side!", Diamond added, resting his hoof on his daughters back, "But ridiculing our treasures designs... UNFORGIVEABLE!"

"The NERVE!", Jewel added, padding back her bouffant mane.

"It's great so many of you want to help us...", Fluttershy admitted before turning to Twilight. She noticed one individual hadn't shown up yet and it had gotten her worried. "Um, Twilight... what's keeping Josh so long?"

Hearing that question sent shudders through her head, remembering what happened at the last gathering he was late for... How he'd almost died... Immediately, she ran over to Pinkie Pie, who was busy talking with Meowth about the contest.

"So then all the remaining ponies go through one last round... which I call the sweet finish!", the pink party pony squealed

"Why do ya call it that?", Meowth couldn't help but ask as he scratched his cheek with a claw.

"Because there's so many desserts that by the time it's over, EVERYONE will have their sweet teeth filled!", she smiled, "Plus, Sugarcube Corner always gets to serve the excess goodies after the contest! It's a free dessert spectacular!"

Meowth rubbed his belly in hunger just thinking about it, but then he noticed the lavender unicorn approaching them and he called out to her. "Hey, Twilight! What's up?"

"Pinkie Pie? Have you... felt any Pinkie senses today? Josh hasn't shown up and..."

With a unusually soft smile, Pinkie Pie shook her head. "Nope! Not a twitchy-twitch all day!"

Meowth was about to ask what Pinkie senses and twitchy-twitches were, but a knock at Twilight's door broke his thought and as he watched her open the doorway, he smiled at seeing his best friend standing at the threshold and a cheer ran throughout the library at seeing him get there safe.

"Jeez!", the pegasus human grinned, "You all act like I just won the lottery!"

This got a big laugh as all the eyes turned to Twilight Sparkle, now back at the head of the library where a podium had been set up. Rainbow Dash and Applejack sat behind her, a blush in both their cheeks at everyone clamoring over them.

"As everypony here has probably heard by now, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are going to attempt to give the Equestria-renowned glutton and jackass, Champange, a taste of his own sugar-coated medicine!"

Another cheer rang through the library, this time directed at the two ponies behind Twilight, making them both chuckle softly.

"I know to a lot of you this may not seem a big deal.. but I've done a little research on Champange and I've learned that he's got a habit of bringing down not just the champions of other towns... but their entire cities. By the time he's finished with them, it takes MONTHS for their markets to recover from his CLEANING them out, taking every bit of food for himself!"

A loud gasp echoed through the small crowd. Their market was pretty small as it was compared to some of the bigger cities like San Franciscolt, Manehattan, and Las Pegasus. If Champange tried to clean them out, it would take months, if not YEARS to fully recover from his sting.

"What makes him think he has that right?", Granny Smith cried out, "Doesn't he know what that can do to a poor town!"

"Um..", Applejack blushed, "Granny, we ain't exactly poor..."

"You know what I mean!"

"Indeed I do.", Twilight added, "But now we've got two of Ponyvilles biggest chowponies ready to take him on in 2 weeks at the EWREC!"

This produced a big cheer as Rainbow Dash and Applejack waved to the crowd, the former posing and blowing kisses.

"But if they want to win, we're all going to need to help them train! Are you ponies with me?"

In unison, the whole crowd yelled their support, making Twilight clap her hooves happily. "Fantastic! So I've divided up the duties for each pony so we'll each be able to take turns helping-"

"Um, Twilight...", Josh cut in shyly, "I was wondering if maybe I could take care getting training set up. I do know a few tricks from my world."

"Yeah, but if we plan it all out, we can get it done efficiently and get in the maximum amount of training!"

"Twi, sugar...", Applejack butted in, "We're just training for an eating contest, not for one of your fancy magical tests."

"I know...", Twilight replied, looking down, "I just like being organized..."

Josh smiled as he looked at the lavender unicorn. "I know and there's nothing wrong with that. But I'd like a chance to show my skills as a trainer. I've heard that you run the Winter Wrap-Up with precision and poise and I'd like to see if I can't do for this training what you do for that."

Twilight was flattered that the others had talked about her organization so fondly and at the same time, she began to wonder what Josh had in mind. "Ok, ok... Josh you can take the helm, but I'm gonna be watching you. Understand?"

The human pegasus nodded, but couldn't help giving a silent "Yes!" in his head as he rubbed his palms together and took a spot at the podium up front. Looking at the sea of expectant faces, he swallowed and took a breath before he spoke.

"Ok, so if we're gonna show this SHAMPange pony what Applejack and Rainbow Dash can do... we all need to help them train! I was doin' a little thinking on my way here and I think I got an idea what we all can do... everypony listening?"

"We're listening! Get on with it already!", Granny Smith shouted, getting a big laugh from everyone and making the three at the head blush.

"Ok, ok! Granny Smith, you're one of the best bakers in Ponyville, so you, Pinkie Pie, and the Cakes work on the more fattening foods. I get the feeling we're gonna need to expand their stomaches for this contest.."

"You got it, Spanky!", Granny Smith called out, causing a wave of hysterical laughter to ring out. Spike and Meowth were laughing so hard they were nearly crying and Rarity already WAS! Applejack and Rainbow Dash were supporting each other in shaken guffaws and even Fluttershy was on the ground laughing.

"Yeah, ha ha...", Josh muttered as he looked at everyone laughing and carrying on. Admittedly, he wasn't exactly at ease with everyone laughing AT him, since he was still self-concious about all his injuries. He knew Granny Smith hadn't meant anything bad by Spanky, but he was still a little uneasy. "Fluttershy and Meowth, you two I know are some of the best healthy cooks around. If anyone's tried Meowth's sandwiches and Fluttershy's Springwater Salad... you know what I mean!"

At this, everypony started clamoring again making the two blush. In his short time in Ponyville, Meowth had already come up with a recipe for sandwiches that could have rivaled that of any great chef and Fluttershy's salad was renowned throughout town as a favorite not just of all the ponies, but of all the creatures in Ponyville!

"Um... thanks, Josh...", Fluttershy squeaked out, "We'll do our best..."

Josh looked around the room and let his gaze fall upon the big red colt standing near Applebloom and Granny Smith. He'd already learned from Applejack that it was her big brother and he had a feeling there was something in particular he could help them with. "Big MacIntosh?", he called out.

"Eeyup?", the red colt calmly uttered, a single strand of hayseed hanging from his mouth like a lollipop stick.

"Applejack told me that you're sort of the brawns of the Apple family, is that correct?"

"Eeyup.", Big MacIntosh repeated.

The fact that he was only saying the same word over and over began to unnerve the human and he couldn't help but gulp in nervousness. "Um... I was thinking maybe you could maybe help your sister and Rainbow Dash in physical exercises and maybe helping with their share of the chores since they may get a little too heavy to be able to move much?"

"Eeyup.", The colt repeated with a shrug and this time Josh's nerve broke.

"Oh for gods sake, can you say anything else?", he blurted out before covering his mouth in shock.

To everyone's surprise, Big MacIntosh strolled up to the podium and looked at the human quizzically before replying in the same cool drawl.

"I di'nt think I needed to, Spanky."

The laughter grew uproarious as Josh just smacked his head down on the podium, letting his arms fall limply as he listened to everyone shrieking in hysterical guffaws as Big MacIntosh merely grinned at having gotten such a reaction from the teen. He could hear Josh muttering to himself in frustration and it was all the colt could do to keep from snickering himself. Finally, the human lifted his head up from the podium and looked back at the crowd, focusing his attention on Rarity, Diamond, and Jewel.

"Rarity, can you and your folks get together some blankets and shirts and the like? I'm betting we all want to show Champange that Ponyville's got the skills to the pay the bills, am I right?"

The crowd cheered as Diamond called out. "It'll be no problem! We can whip something up in a jiffy!"

"It's going to be fun watching this royal contest... seeing all the action and glamour of the cameras!", Jewel squealed, clapping her hooves.

"But most of all... it'll be a pleasure to put that... that...", Rarity steamed, trying desperately not to curse in front of the younger fillies, "That CREEP in his place!"

Josh nodded as he turned to Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. "Cutie Mark Crusaders, I need you to help me in taking care of them if... if things get messy. I'm sure Sweetie Belle knows what I'm talking about."

This produced a blush from the unicorn, knowing that Josh was referring to her losing her breakfast on Applebloom after trying to get a cutie mark in tire swinging.

"Anything else? We want to do whatever we can to help as...", Applebloom called out before the three of them shouted out in unison

"THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!"

The wave of sound from their shouting actually knocked Josh back against the bookshelf, his jacket blown back like a cape. Managing barely to stay on his wounded legs, Josh staggered back to the podium and looked at the beaming faces of the blank-flanked fillies.

"Well I certainly admire your enthusiasm. Maybe you gals can help Granny, Pinkie, and the Cakes with the baking?"

"You got it! Cutie Mark Bakers to the rescue!", Scootaloo cheered, spreading her forelegs out with a flourish.

The teen just shook his head in amazement as he turned to Twilight Sparkle. "Twilight, Spike and I will take the helm of the training... since it's not likely I can do this solo and Twilight DOES have some exceptional leadership skills."

At hearing the murmuring of agreement from the other ponies, Twilight couldn't help but blush as Josh turned around towards the two ponies behind him on chairs.

"Applejack and Rainbow Dash... I want to make sure you two are up to this. This isn't gonna be easy."

"Sure, we're sure!", Rainbow Dash asserted, "That jerk made fun of us! We're not gonna let him get away with it!"

"That's right! It's time for Ponyvilles chowponys to put this blowhard in his place!", Applejack added, getting a big cheer from the crowd.

"Ok, ok! I believe you two!", Josh said, putting his hands up, "First thing though... I need to know what kinds of foods are your favorites? Obviously, one of the parts of getting you ready will be massive eating and I want to know what to prepare! I don't want to make a big meal and have it be wasted... I don't think any of us do!"

"Spanky's got a point there!", Granny Smith agreed, getting another chuckle.

"Ok seriously, Granny Smith... stop. My name's not... oh forget it!", Josh sputtered before refocusing on the two ponies.

"Well, sugar... I'm partial to apples, sandwiches, and pastries.", Applejack admitted.

"I'm more into a nice pizza or a burger.", Rainbow Dash added. The second item made Josh start sputtering again, his eyes widening.

"Whoa! Hold up! You eat meat?"

"Well sure.", Big MacIntosh replied in a drawl, "You didn't think we were all vegetarian, did you?"

"Actually... I kinda did!", Josh admitted rubbing his hand behind his head.

"Nah, we do eat meat.", Applejack replied, "We just don't eat it from Ponyville. We always get shipments from other places in Equestria. That way, we know we're not-"

"Ok, I get it!", Josh cut her off, not exactly wanting her to finish that sentence, "But it sounds like we've all got our jobs planned! Tomorrow... we start prepping Rainbow Dash and Applejack for the EWREC! We're not just doing this for pride... we're doing it for all of Ponyville! He may take our food... but he'll never take our FREEDOM!"

Raising his fist in the air, Josh let out a whoop. Then he looked at the ponies all staring at him and a deep blush ran onto his cheeks. Even Spike and Meowth were looking at him puzzled.

"Sorry... I got a bit carried away.. heh heh..."..."


	3. Love in Expressions

Note: The song in this chapter is called Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles from the album Kaleidoscope Heart

Special Note: This chapter has possibly the FIRST sex scene I've ever written, so I know it may not be great. But please no flames saying "EW! YOU HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF ANATOMY!".

Special Note: For those of you with problems with sexual themes, I'll put a special breaker so you know when to stop reading the chapter.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day was spent pretty smoothly. Everyone began to get ready to help Dash and AJ train and Josh, Meowth and Rainbow Dash were up in Cloudsdale talking.<p>

"Rainbow Dash, are you sure about this?", Josh asked again, his hand on her hoof, "You know this isn't gonna be an easy process..."

"Josh, it's like I said before! So what if we barf once or twice... it'll all be worth it when we put Champange in his place and win that cool million!"

"Of course it wi-", Josh started to say... until he realized what Rainbow Dash had said, "Wait, what was that last part?"

"Yeah, it sounded like ya said a cool million!", Meowth added.

"Heh heh, I guess we shoulda said something earlier. The town with the champion eater gets one million bits to replenish its food markets and renovate! Plus the champion themselves gets a cool 50 grand!", the pegasus replied, leaving Josh and Meowth with their jaws nearly dropped to the floor.

"NO WONDER YOU GUYS AREN'T WORRIED ABOUT THROWING UP!", Meowth blurted out.

"Every day I'm here, I'm learning more and more about Equestria's way of life!", Josh admitted.

It was then Rainbow Dash looked outside at the setting sun and turned towards Josh with a strange look in her eyes. "Actually Josh... I'm wondering if maybe you can teach me a little something... in private? Meowth can you fly down and maybe check with Fluttershy on the greens?"

"No problem!", the cat-pokemon grinned before heading out the bedroom door. The same night Meowth had been brought to life, Josh had asked if he could fly as well so that way he wouldn't need to carry him all the time and Luna had been only too happy to oblige. But instead of a set of wings, Luna had just gave Meowth a power somewhat akin to what a superhero may have used in their own flight. As they watched him leave them room, Rainbow Dash got off the bed and walked over to the door, shutting it tight and locking it. It was then she turned towards the teen and walked back towards her bed, sitting up on it and letting her hindlegs dangle over the side. Finally, after almost a minute of silence, the pegasus spoke.

"Josh... what's love like?"

Josh was caught a bit off-guard by the question and he turned to Rainbow Dash curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... what's it really like to make love? I've heard about it so much... yet... I've never found that someone..."

This made him even more sputtered as he struggled to speak. "I didn't know ya felt THAT strong about me!" he blurted out before clearing his throat and answering in a calmer tone, "It's like just being one with someone who makes you whole. Someone who makes you feel like you're complete, like you're something special. Someone who makes you glad to be alive."

"Someone like you?", Rainbow Dash asked.

This produced a very deep blush on Josh's cheeks and he gave a sheepish nod. "If you feel like that, I suppose yeah."

"Josh...", the pegasus started to say before taking her hoof and rubbing it along Joshs chest, "Would... would you... make love to me? Be my first?"

This made Josh fall backwards onto the bed in shock before he managed to prop himself back up, looking at the rainbow-maned pegasus. "Wha? Are you sure?"

Rainbow Dash nodded softly before she spoke. "Josh ever since I first saw you when you came into Ponyville... I just felt this spark in my heart. Even stronger than my desire to get onto the Wonderbolts. Stronger than my need for speed. Stronger than anything I've ever felt before. I... I..."

The pegasus found her words failing her and so she did what she knew would get her point across...

She planted her lips onto his and kissed him deeply just like she had back at the fire. But this time, she knew Josh was fully awake and able to enjoy it. She let her tongue lick along the inside of his mouth, brushing against his own stitched up muscle, and wrapped her forehooves around his body, pushing into the kiss as far as she could.

All Josh could do was respond in kind, embracing the pegasus and kissing her as passionately as she was him. They stayed locked in that embrace for almost half a minute before Rainbow Dash began using her hooves to slip off Joshs jacket, exposing his gold shirt. Immediately, Josh knew she was trying to undress him and he pushed away gently.

"Rainbow Dash, are you positive about this? What if... what if I end up getting you pregnant? What about the Wonderbolts?"

"Let's think about that if it happens...", Rainbow Dash cooed to her friend, slipping off his shirt and exposing his bare chest. His stitches and scars had finally begun to heal and vanish, allowing his flesh to be pure again and without all the wounds, the pegasus had to admit Josh had a pretty nice body. "For now... lemme help you get those clothes off... Lay back for me..."

===============Adult Content Approaching=====================

Obediently, Josh laid back onto the mattress of the bed and closed his eyes as he felt Dash taking off first his sweats, then his briefs exposing his private parts to the world. As she looked at Joshs package, she couldn't help but whistle, not realizing humans had pretty nice-sized members. But something didn't feel quite right... and then it hit her...

"Josh, is it alright if I turn on a little music? A little mood music?"

Blissfully, the human nodded and listened at Rainbow Dash went over to her stereo and put in a cd, turning the machine on and letting a soft tune play. As she listened to the woman's calm voice start to sing, she walked back over to the now naked Joshua and climbed up onto the bed beside him.

_Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back_

Carefully, she began rubbing her hoof against his chest, tracing the cleft along his pec thoughtfully. "Ya know I don't think you've made any move yet, heh heh.", she giggled before laying down on her back and letting her fore and hindlegs spread out, "Come on, I want to feel what you're like..."

_At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?_

"Are you sure? I just don't want to crush ya or anything.", Josh admitted as he turned to Rainbow Dash and went to climb up.

"I tell you what. Why don't you just get us started, then I can do the rest.", Dash offered, "Now come on... rub me..."

"If you're sure...", Josh shrugged as he lowered his hands down on Rainbow Dash's belly.

_All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one_

Gently, the human rubbed and massaged the pegasus's blue tummy, letting his fingers run through her slight pudge and trace all down her abdomen, making her moan at the feeling.

"That feels.. that feels pretty nice...", she whispered, "But lower..."

Nodding and knowing what she was getting at, Josh immediately put his hands even lower.

_Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns_

Closer and closer, the teen came to approaching her wetness, all the while the pegasus began shivering in pleasure as the feel of his hands stroking her abdomen.

"Oohhhhhhh...", she moaned, her wings starting to unfurl from her excitement.

And then he hit it... that spot that made her cry out...

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Hold my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_

He was rubbing her spot... the spot on her body that sent waves of ecstacy shooting up Rainbow Dash's spine like molten fire.

"You like that?", Josh asked nervously.

"More... More...", she kept repeating, the feeling in her growing euphoric.

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

_I'll breathe again_

The teen continued to massage her g-spot, his fingers gently rubbing inside her moistness and sending shivers through her body. Her wings were fully unfurled and trembling as her heart raced. Not even a personal training session with the wonderbolts could have produced such a feeling.

_Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth_

_And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view_

"Don't stop, Josh... please...", she murred

"Ok, I'll keep going...", he replied, rubbing and massaging even more. But suddenly Rainbow Dash manuveured herself into where the roles had reversed and she was on top of the teen, the speed of her positioning catching him off-gaurd. All the rubbing had made the mare incredibly aroused.

"Now it's time to get you ready..."

_Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart_

_And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore_

Gently, the pegasus reached her forehoof down and started to stroke Josh's member, letting her cleft brush against his tip and sending vibrations through his body. At the same time, she leaned down and placed her mouth upon his, kissing him passionately. She wanted to get him ready for them to make love, she could feel her body beginning to crave him.

"How does that feel, my fellow flyer?", she cooed in her tomboyish tone.

All Josh could do was moan in guttural pleasure, his own wings spreading. He had never felt anything so raw, so wonderful.

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_

As she continued to rub and massage his manhood, she began to feel it harden and a small dollop of his cream ebb from the tip. She knew he was ready and she straddled him, getting on her fore and hindhooves and raising her abdomen to where her entrance was right above his erect member. It was time for them to become one. But she knew he was worried about him being too big for her, so she was gonna give Josh the chance to be the bottom...

"Are you ready? Please say you are... I want you in me so bad...", she pleaded.

"I... I'm ready..", Josh quivered. he could see in her eyes that Rainbow Dash wanted to begin.

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

Slowly, Rainbow Dash lowed herself onto the teen until his cock had entered her. She could feel his length brushing inside her and the feeling was beyond awesome. All she needed was one more thing.

"Hold me... hold my rump... help me move...", She whispered.

With a smile, Josh placed his hands on her big rump and pushed in, letting them sink into her haunches. Even her butt felt warm and sensual.

"Now... it's time...", she moaned and the young pegasus began to thrust her body forward gently, allowing his penis to roll inside her. The more it was brushing, the more her body rumbled in pleasure.

_It hurts to be here_

_I only wanted love from you_

More and more the pegasus shifted her body along his, her rainbow-colored mane swinging back and forth with each push. The look in her eyes was one of pure happiness.

"This is so cool!", she couldn't help but squeal.

At this, Josh couldn't help but laugh as he took his hand off her rump and rubbed it through her mane and ran his finger down her face. Her head felt cool to the touch and even her snout felt moist from the sweat now glistening on it from the intensity. "I'm glad you're happy... don't be afraid to ask me to d-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, Dash did something that surprised him. She lifted herself up off his cock and spun herself around to where her big plump ass was facing the teen. Her cheeks wobbled slightly as her rainbow tail hung from her flanks.

"Dash? What are you doing?"

"Please... feel inside me... feel in my rump!"

Out of everything in the world, that was the one sentence Josh never thought he'd hear in his life, let alone in a place like PONYVILLE and he couldn't help but sputter.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes!", she nodded vigorously as she wiggled her rump, "Please hurry..."

With a blush that seemed to cover his whole body, Josh slowly spread her cheeks open, exposing her hole, and placed his fingers inside, feeling around in her second love center.

"Deeper... please!", she cried, clenching her forehooves in abandon

Obediently, he pushed his fingers deeper into her butt to where he could feel where her colon began, hitting that second spot that made her shiver in bliss until she spun back around and repositioned herself back onto his dick with a speed he wouldn't have thought possible; even from her during sex.

_It hurts to be here_

_What am I gonna do?_

As she continued to move her body against his, Josh could feel his own pleasure beginning to rumble, his seed starting to build up. He knew soon he would be ready to cum, but he wanted the pegasus to climax with him.

"Dash... Dash... How does it feel...", he whimpered

"It feels beyond awesome..." she quivered. She was close to coming as well, but she just needed a few more gyrations. "Josh... Josh I'm almost ready... come with me..."

"I'm coming, Dash... I'm coming!", He moaned.

Soon the pleasure became too much and Rainbow Dash knew she had to release... She was feeling like volts of electricity were shooting through her and it was time to let the energy come out.

"I'm gonna... gonna...", she whimpered before she moaned and came, wrapping her forelegs around Josh and holding him close as he began to fill her with his seed. Her own essence was spilling out onto the bed and droplets of it stuck to his chest. The feeling as her love came out was indescribable, almost akin to reaching Nirvana. Their wings were spread to their maximum length and her hindlegs had all but turned to mush, the muscles unable to respond anymore. Josh felt almost the same way as his juice was shot more and more into the equine until it began to spill from her orfice, his nectar dripping from her opening and mixing with hers as they became one.

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching_

Finally, after the last of their mixture had come out, Rainbow Dash allowed herself to collapse onto the teen as she felt her climax subside. Her body didn't want to move, all it wanted to do was just lay on top of the teen. Weakly, she managed to place her mouth onto his and kiss him sweetly as they finished. She had never felt anything so magical in her young life.

============================Adult Content Ended==============

"Josh... that was..."

Josh grinned before he finished her sentence. "20% cooler than you expected?"

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_

"Beyond that...", she replied with a yawn. All the love-making had taken the energy out of her and she was feeling more exhausted than ever before... all she wanted right now was to sleep with the one she cared about...

"Josh... I love you so much...", she whispered as she laid her head down on his chest and let her eyes start to close.

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

"I love you too, Rainbow Dash...", he whispered back as he rubbed her wings while the mare fell asleep and allowed herself to drift off into their dreams. As he stroked her back gently, he couldn't help but marvel at how warm she felt, especially after their love-making. Hearing her breathing near his ear gave him a feeling of pure content and as he placed his hand upon her face, stroking the bridge of her snout, he felt like he was in pure heaven. Slowly, he felt his energy drain away, her peaceful snoring lulling him to sleep, and he closed his eyes with the biggest smile on his face, feeling a few tears welling up and slowly running down his cheeks. Weeks ago, he'd felt nothing but loneliness and heartache, his life darkened by an empty house and lost memories... and now he was in a new land, with friends and his soulmate... his heart no longer felt empty inside, but felt full of joy and desire...

The training for the contest hadn't even begun and already...

They had both won.

By the time Meowth had returned home from helping Fluttershy get the healthy foods ready, they had both fallen fast asleep...

And the biggest grin spread over the cat-pokemon's face.

"Well would ya look at dat...", he cooed softly.

_I'll breathe again_

_I'll breathe again_

_I'll breathe again_

_I'll breathe again_

_I'll breathe again..._


	4. Exercising a Right

It wasn't until the next day that Josh and Dash woke up from their slumber and, after a quick shower, the two of them with Meowth in tow had flown down to Applejack's farm where Big MacIntosh was waiting with his sister, Twilight, and Spike, as well as a big black exercise machine borrowed from the Mr. Heavyweight's Gym. But as they landed, Twilight couldn't help but notice the huge grin on the pegasus' already normally cheery face.

"Wow, Dash, I've never seen you so happy!", she commented, a grin spreading on her own.

"Yeah, what happened? Did you get a letter from the Wonderbolts or something?", Spike asked.

All Meowth could do was look at the two lovers and grin, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the young dragon.

"Meowth, do you know something I don't?", he asked again.

"Let's just say dey found something not many o' us eva' find.", he smiled as he turned towards Big MacIntosh, "So have you gotten some exercises set up fer AJ and Dash?"

"Eeyup.", the colt drawled coolly, the single haystick hanging from his mouth like usual, "Got a set of cowsthenics all worked out."

"I think that's calisthenics, Big MacIntosh." The unicorn corrected the country colt.

"Ya know what I mean, Twi..", he muttered before turning to the teen, "An' I got YER exercise thingamajig set up too fer yer legs."

At this, all the ponies, Spike and Meowth couldn't help but look sadly at Joshs legs, an act that admittedly made the teen uncomfortable. He knew Big Mac and AJ had been helping him restrengthen his legs so he'd be able to walk easier after getting them operated on, a process they all know wasn't easy, especially from what AJ had told them about his crying from the effort.

"Yeah, thanks Big Mac...", he mouthed to the colt before turning to Twilight, "I appreciate you helping me set up this first part. Getting them in physical shape for this could be key."

"Pardon me for askin',", Meowth raised his paw, "But HOW does exercise like dis help wit' eating?"

"That there's very simple!", Applejack replied with a grin, "It... uh... it... well it...". It was then she realized she didn't know either! "Uh... Twi? How DOES this help us?"

The unicorn sighed, placing a hoof to her head, before she answered. "It's supposed to help build up your endurance so you two can eat more without getting tired. Right, Josh?"

The human gave a small nod before heading off past them towards the machine and getting on the device. Pressing his feet against a set of pedals and grunting as he stretched the weak muscles out, he spoke to them all with hints of effort in his voice.

"Eating lots... of foods takes more... than just big tummies... It takes... energy to... consume every morsel... and get it into your belly... Otherwise you could... end up passing out... in a big cake or bowl... of clam chowder!"

At imagining that happening, the others couldn't help but giggle.

"I think that only happens in cartoons, Josh!", Applejack chuckled.

"Yeah, but that talk of clam chowder got me hungry! Is there any around?", Rainbow Dash asked, looking around eagerly.

"Easy, Dash, after the calisthenics there'll be a part of the training which will allow you both to chow down! But for now... Big MacIntosh, would you take it away?", Twilight asked the red colt, receiving a nod from MacIntosh before he blew into a whistle and barked at the two ponies, the both of them startled by the colt's unusually authorative voice.

"ALRIGHT! LET'S START WITH SOME SIMPLE JUMPING JACKS!", he barked to the cowpony and pegasus, "GET NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND MOVE IT!"

Without wasting a second, the two ponies were standing side by side, lifting their forehooves up and clapping them over their heads over and over!

"ONE AND TWO AND ONE AND TWO! COME ON PHILLIES, LET'S MOVE IT!"

"Jeez, Big... Mac... when'd ya'll... get so... forceful?", Applejack gasped out in between claps.

"I've seen those stories, Sis... I know what losin' this here competition would do ta Ponyville...", Big Mac replied, "I ain't ABOUT ta let years upon more years of the Apple family's harvests be consumed by that jerk!"

Meowth couldn't help but marvel at the change that had seemed to overtake the normally aloof colt. "Big Mac, I didn't know ya had dis kinda strength in ya!"

"You'd be surprised, cat-boy!", he replied, getting a dark look from Meowth, before turning back to the two mare and blowing into his whistle, "ALRIGHT YA TWO! PUSH-UPS! NOW!"

Obidiently, the two got on their bellies and started pushing against the ground, the sweat already starting to form on their heads.

"Applejack...", Rainbow Dash gasped, "What... have we gotten... ourselves... into?"

"I..;. don't know!", the cowpony replied with each pushup.

From their, the exercises only got more and more exhausting, from squats to jogging to trotting to stretches and all that laid inbetween. Twilight, Meowth, and Josh just watched in shock at the change that had seemed to overtake the normally placid Big MacIntosh.

"Dis farm means a lot ta him, don't it?", Meowth asked the unicorn, only to be given a reply from behind him...

"Yer dern right it does, catty!"

Looking behind him, the three bystanders found themselves looking at Granny Smith, bearing a wistful expression on her face.

"Sweet Apple Acres has been in the Apple family for generations upon generations. My great-great-great-great grandpa Ridington helped build it up from the dirt that lays below. Since then, it's been home to all sorts of Apple relatives. From Great Uncle Caramel Apple to Great Aunt Applecore to me and my late husband, Candy-Coat, to my daughter, Shine and her husband, Stem, all the way to my darling grandchildren! If that Champange pony were to win that contest and do what he's done to other cities in Equestria, our land may never recover its prosperous bounty!"

Twilight Sparkle, Meowth, and Joshua Rocket just stood there in total shock. None of them had heard the wizened grandmother mare speak so eloquently in a great number of years and for the latter two it was their first time hearing her speak more than just a sentence or two.

"C'mon, you didn't think this ol' mare didn't still have a way with words, did you?", Granny Smith grinned.

Josh merely ran his hand through his hair in amazement before he spoke, something Granny Smith had said ringing in his head. "So... where ARE their parents anyway?"

At this, the old mare looked down at the ground. "They're away on business a lot, helping sell apples and goods all over Equestria, so I help keep watch over them. I know they miss their mom and dad, but they know it's all to help the farm and them have great lives..."

Meowth couldn't help but sniffle, Twilight having to wipe a tear from her eye.

"I never knew that...", the unicorn lamented, "No wonder she occupies herself with work so much..."

"Idle hands ARE the devil's workshop, you know...", Josh sighed as he watched Dash and AJ growing more and more exhausted from Big Mac's workout.

"ONE AND TWO AND ONE AND TWO ANDDDDDDDD REST!", he called out to the jogging horses. In unison, they collapsed onto each other, panting and gasping for air.

"Water... Water!", Rainbow Dash gasped out from the heat.

"Big Mac... ARE YOU CRAZY?", the cowpony added angrily, "Starting us off like that? Whatever happened ta startin' off slow and steady?"

"Sorry sis, but if we're gon' get you two ready in two weeks, we gotta do this fast and we gotta do this hard!", Big Mac barked out before he blew back into the whistle, "ALRIGHT FILLIES, PUSHUPS NOW! GO!"

As they collapsed back onto their hooves, Rainbow Dash and Applejack couldn't help but wonder what the hay they had gotten themselves into.

"Applejack...", Rainbow gasped with each push, "Remind me... to kill... Big Mac... when all this... is done!"

"Gladly!", Applejack agreed. It wasn't that the cowpony wasn't used to hard work and exercise, it was just being forced to do it in rapid succession that was zapping her, "Big Mac... will be needin'... ta sleep with... one eye open!"

As she watched the two exercise, Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof contemptlatively before she walked over to the teen just getting off the exercise device and motioned for him to lean down, an act the teen obeyed without question, before she whispered into his ear. In between pumps, Dash and Applejack could see the two in conversation before the teen nodded and flew upwards towards the pegasis home.

"What the heck was that about?", Dash wondered as she looked at her lover taking to the skies before getting to her hindhooves and starting in on the jumping jacks that Big MacIntosh was commanding, "And how much prison time would I get if I knocked Big Mac out with my hoof..."

* * *

><p>After two hours of non-stop exercise, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were crashed out on the couch in the latters living room. Neither of them could breathe due to the massive exhaustion and it was all they could do not to fall asleep from their energy being drained.<p>

"I... I never want to do another jumping jack as long as I live...", the cyan pegasus groaned, "I thought training for an eating contest would just involve eating!"

"I hafta admit, Dash...", the cowpony reluctantly admitted, "I thought that too... all that exercise has got me worked up a mighty appetite!"

"Well, the others told us to wait here for a little bit... hopefully, they're whipping up a little something for us."

Applejack couldn't help but let out a yawn, feeling her energy just about run out, and she tipped her hat over her eyes, "Whatever... just wake me up when they need us for more training."

With that, the cowpony let the last of her strength leave her and she slunk back onto the soft cushion. Yet the pony found that sleep wasn't ready to overtake her just yet and after laying back with her eyes shut for about 10 minutes, she gave up and tilted her hat back. Looking to her side, she saw the cyan pegasus hanging on the edge of the sofa, looking at nothing in particular and her interest grew piqued.

"Sometin' on yer mind, Dash?", she asked casually.

A small sigh was her response and the cowpony had a strange feeling the grin on her face when she'd flown down had something to do with her sighs...

"Dash, yer thinkin' about Josh, ain't ya?"

With a snort, Rainbow Dash scoffed and tried to play herself off as cool. "What? Nah, I'm just thinking how much fun it's gonna be putting that Champagne in his place!"

"Dash, you can't fool this cowpony. I know that lovesick sigh anywhere!", Applejack grinned, "Now come on, tell ol' AJ the truth!"

Rainbow Dash debated trying to come up with another lie, but seeing the coy look on the cowponys face, she knew it was all but useless to hide anything from her. Applejack wasn't known as one of the most determined ponies in Equestria for nothing and with a sigh, she spoke.

"Applejack, I'm about to tell you something that you have to PROMISE me you will not tell anyone else! Not Twilight, Not Fluttershy, not even Meowth!"

The cowpony smiled. "Of course, Dash! You know I wouldn't tell your secrets! That'd be one quick way to lose you as a friend..."

"FOREVER!"

Hearing the loud voice of their pink friend, Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked in alarm at Pinkie Pie, looking over the back of the couch at them with a menacing look in her eyes as she slowly slid down into the non-existant abyss.

"How does she do that?", Rainbow Dash couldn't help but ask.

"If I knew, I'd tell ya!", Applejack replied, "Now come on tell me... what's your secret?"

Finally, the cyan pegasus relented and looked at her earth pony friend before spilling her secret. "AJ... we made love last night..."

"You and Josh, right?", the cowpony reinterated for her own clarity.

Rainbow Dash gave a soft nod before she continued. "I asked him what love was like... and he told me it was being with the one that made you glad to be alive... I asked him if he would be my first and he said yes. He helped me achieve a bliss I'd never gotten before... and it felt wonderful."

Applejack merely gave a half-smile before she replied. "I knew it woulda happ'ned sooner or later. Good fer you, Dash."

At this subdued reaction, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but get surprised. She had done something never before done in Equestria and had sex with a human being... and here was her friend acting like it was nothing more than bucking a big apple tree. She'd half-expected her to hit her or chew her out for having such a relationship, but instead she'd gotten acceptance and praise...

"You're... you're not angry?"

"Why would I be?", Applejack asked in bewilderment.

"I just told you I had sex with Josh... a HUMAN! You're not gonna say that it's wrong or that it'll never work out or anything? I mean you're the Element of Honesty!", Dash found herself sputtering out. But to her amazement, Applejack gave her only a calm smile.

"Sugah, Josh was flayed with'n an inch of his life by a group of nutjobs and has no family back in his world. As far as I'm concerned, short of burnin' Ponyville to the ground, he's free play. I'm sure everyone you told would agree. Am I concerned about what could happen? That's ta be expect'd! But I highly doubt anything horrible could come from you two being together. If you two are in love, then that's all that matters."

The pegasus found herself getting choked up by her friends kindness and before she could help herself, she'd given the cowpony a giant hug. Applejack was startled at first, but instead of pushing her away, she merely patted her friend on her back and smiled. In her heart of hearts, she was a little worried that one of them could get hurt. But she knew that a pegasus and a human making love and having romance had about as much chance of destroying Equestria as setting a fire in Pinkie Pie's toilet.

But as they shared a hug of friendship, they couldn't help but wonder...

Where had the teen flown off to and what had he been talking about with Twilight?


	5. Preparation Anxiety

Back in Rainbow Dash, Meowth, and Josh's cloud home, the human had turned on Dash's computer and quickly discovered the internet in Equestria was just like the one back on his world. But by now, nothing about Equestria really surprised him. He'd grown to accept it being nearly identical to his world.

At the moment though, he was busy downloading a special program that would allow him to converse with his few friends back home. A special black box given by a techno-geek unicorn named Gigabyte gave the computer the ability to transcend dimensions and worlds, a feat that even Twilight Sparkle couldn't seem to figure out, and right now he had it put to good use to help carry out what the lavender unicorn had asked of him back on the farm.

_"Josh, I need you to get recipes... lots of recipes and lots of food..."_

Immediately, he knew of two of his friends that dabbled in cooking and actually had some secret recipes of their own... ones he knew could be of use to helping them all. Celestia had said that allowing him to head back to his world was easy and to pick up their foods and recipes that would be essential. As he signed onto the Equestrian Messenger, he discovered to his delight that both his friends were already on and within a few seconds, the three of them were in a chatroom, talking excitedly.

**JRocket: Aramis, Graham! Hey!**

**DarkChaos: Rocket, yo! Sup? Where'd you go?**

**Gypsylover: Ari and I have been trying to call your house for days now! Where are you?**

**JRocket: I'm afraid I can't tell you that right now, but I need your help. How quick can you guys make me some of those special dishes that we used to snack on when we'd spend time at Ari's pad with his folks?**

**DarkChaos: You mean like that Goulash Surpreme and the Quad-Club Burgers?**

**JRocket: Yes! Exactly!**

**DarkChaos: Not long at all! Just give us an hour and we can whip them all up nice and delicious!**

**Gypsylover: Yeah! But how will we get it to you?**

**JRocket: Just meet me in the backyard of my house. You both have spare keys still, right?**

**DarkChaos: Of course! I even got mine copied!**

**JRocket: ...Aramis, why'd you get a copy of yours?**

**DarkChaos: In case Jason eats one of them.**

**JRocket: Right... he does enjoy eating shiny things, that Panopolis kid... Anyway, meet me in the backyard of my house in one hour. Bring as much food and as many recipe sheets as you can. I gtg for now. Got some business.**

**Gypsylover: Alright. Take care!**

**DarkChaos: Ciao!**

_JRocket has signed off_

As he clicked off the messenger program, he knew his role wasn't even remotely done, he had to get Celestia's help and the assistance of as many eateries in Equestria he could locate... what Twilight had planned was something great... but also something that had to be done right... and he got to his feet as he readied to get himself to Celestia's castle, looking out the bedroom window and getting his wings ready to go as he stepped onto the ledge...

"HEYAS JOSH! WHACHA DOIN'?"

Hearing that goofy voice from his side startled the teen bad enough to where he fell backwards back into the bedroom with a loud yelp. Looking up, he could see a familiar cross-eyed pegasus looking back at him with a big grin on her face.

"Ugh... Derpy Hooves? What is it?"

"Miss Twi-light asked me to look for you!", the mailmare replied, drawing out the unicorn's name, "She wanted to make sure the progress in your training was going ok-dokie!"

"Yeah.. yeah. It's going ok.", Josh sighed as he shook his head to get back his senses from the fall. "But you don't need to startle me like that!"

"Oops! Sorry!", Derpy grinned sheepishly, rubbing her hoof behind her head as she floated in the air, her gray wings keeping her afloat, "Should I let them know you're on your way?"

The human shook his head again before he replied, "I need to make a few trips before I come back down, but I'll be there in about an hour. What about Dash and AJ, how are they doing?"

"Oh, they're as'eep.", Derpy bubbled, "But they should be ok!"

"Good.. good. Anyways, just let them know I'll be there soon... and try not to crash into anything this time, ok?"

"Got it!", the wall-eyed pegasus replied as she turned to fly out.. and promptly flew into the wall next to the open window before heading into the big blue sky and leaving Josh shaking his head one more time in amazement.

"Maybe they weren't joking when they said she'd had a lobotomy..."

* * *

><p>A few hours had passed since Applejack and Rainbow Dash had finally fallen asleep on the Apple family's couch and the two of them were fast asleep in dreamland, the murmurings coming from their mouths innocent and revealing of their inner desires.<p>

"Oh yes... a week with the Wonderbolts training... that's so awesome!"

"20,000 orders of apple pie... 10,000,000 bits... no problem..."

As the two of them dozed off, in the kitchen and outside the opened back door, a whole mess of cooking and stewing was going on as Fluttershy, Meowth, Granny Smith, Josh, Twilight Sparkle, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Pinkie Pie, Big MacIntosh and even Rarity were all busy cooking up a storm... although none of them knew WHY Twilight had asked them to create so much.

"Um... Twilight...", Fluttershy squeaked as she tossed together a crisp salad, "Can you tell us please why we're making so much food? That is... if you don't mind.."

"Fluttershy, don't be so scared ta ask her!", Meowth coaxed, putting together a fresh set of multi-deck sandwiches, "I'd like ta know too!"

"Cat's got a point!" Scootaloo couldn't help but add as she put the finishing touches on a set of hot dogs. In accordance with what Applejack had mentioned, they'd imported the meats from Neigh York City's meat district. Surprisingly, it'd taken less than an hour for all the meats to arrive. But from what Twilight and Josh had told them, when it was mentioned WHY all the food was needed, it seemed to make a proccess that would have normally taken days to fill due to all the orders ahead reduced to that of 60 minutes! "What's with all the food!"

Twilight sighed before she spoke, "You'll find out in about 10 minutes when all the food is ready... But it's not going to be pretty. Josh you got those special meals ready?"

The human nodded as he finished stirring up a meaty stew he'd come to the farm with. The smell had been intoxicating and even Rarity found herself drooling as the scent reached her. Josh wouldn't tell any of them what was in it, saying it was a private recipe that he'd gotten back in his world. But he had been willing to give out several bowlfuls to the others to sample and the reaction had been unanimously positive. "Just about! Think it's about time to wake up the sleepers?"

"Mr. Josh, sir?", Apple Bloom asked softly as she helped set up the big pile of burgers he'd brought, "Why do you think Twilight's having us make all this?"

The teen merely gave a half-smile before he knelt down towards the filly. "Sweetie, I may know... but you may not like it."

"C'mon, tell me!", she insisted, giving him a puppy-doggish pouty look.

"Apple Bloom... all I'll say is it's gonna be messy." he remarked before he stood back up and took in a spoonful of the stew for himself, slurping it. "Mmmmm... Hey, Sweetie Belle, can you toss me a thing of salt?"

"On it!", the little unicorn complied, grabbing a shaker with her mouth and tossing it out of the kitchen and to the human who caught it much to the amazement of the crowd around him.

"Nice catch.", Big Mac drawled before turning back to Granny Smith and the pies he was helping her make, "That's about 40 or 50 pies we've made so far. Think that's enough?"

"Oh ho ho no!", the wizened pony shook her head as she put another sheet into the oven, "I'm gonna keep baking and cooking til' the cows come home! We've got to get those whippersnappers ready... for this is not just a contest! THIS IS A FIGHT FOR PONYVILLE'S LIVELIHOOD!"

"Ok...", Big Mac muttered as he backed away, "I think you got carried away a bit there... Ya'll been listening to Josh's speeches?"

"Grandson, if we don't prepare for this and Rainbow Dash and Applejack lose... WE'LL lose everything!"

"Ya'll don't honestly think that fat unicorn would empty Ponyville's markets, do ya? No pony could be that selfish!"

"Remember Moosuri? Baas Angeles? Saddallas? Remember what happened to all those places after their competitors lost to Champagne?"

Almost immediately a horrifying set of images ran through the red colts head as he remembered the news reports he'd read.

_Baas Angeles still recovering after 4 months..._

_Illinoisey market closes for good..._

_Albaneigh mayor hangs himself after city is driven to bankruptcy thanks to Champagne..._

A shiver went through his body, shaking him to the core. He knew now that if Champagne could wipe out a huge city like Albaneigh to the point where its leader took their life... Ponyville would be decimated if that fat unicorn took out their own market!

"GRANNY FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE, WE NEED TO FINISH MAKING ALL THIS HERE FOOD NOW! WE NEED TO GET THEM TRAINED ASAFP!", he shouted to the old mare before turning to the pink party pony putting piles and pounds of pancakes perfectly perpendicular on plates, "Pinkie Pie! Progress on the pancakes?"

"Pppperfection!", she giggled as she poured another big container of syrup onto the stack, "I think we're just about ready-eddy-freddy to starty-warty the next part of their training-waining!"

At this, nearly all the crowd who could hear Pinkie Pie just looked at her like she'd grown an extra head. The more she spoke, the more everyone started to wonder if she had sugar in her bloodstream instead of the crimson liquid.

"Pinkie Pie... what are we gonna do with you...", Twilight murmured to herself, placing a hoof to her head in confusion before turning to Josh and Apple Bloom, "We're just about ready! Can you two go inside and bring Dash and AJ into the kitchen... there I'll explain everything!"

"FINALLY!", the two said in unison as they set down the cooking tools and got ready to head inside...


	6. Scarf Til' You Barf

Note: Ok, we ALL saw this chapter was approaching. So let's just get some things clear.

I realize this is pretty gross in parts, but I have a reason.

I do my best to paint a vivid picture at all times. I hope you can all understand this.

* * *

><p>Back on the couch, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were still fast asleep and lost in their peaceful dreams.<p>

"Mmmm... yes, Celestia, I can make a nice big apple pie for you... Princess Applejack sounds wonderful..." Applejack murmured dreamily.

"Yes.. I'll at the show in one minute Spitfire...", Rainbow Dash muttered, sniffing and scrounging her nose as if something inside it was bothering her, "Just... lemme take care of something real quick..."

Without knowing it, the cyan pegasus raised her hoof to her nose and, placing the cleft in her nostril, started digging. It was lucky for her Applejack was fast asleep, so she couldn't see Rainbow Dash picking her nose in her sleep. The pegasus dug as deep as she could in her snout before finally pulling out a big booger and wiping it underneath the couch before sniffing again, relieved her nose was all empty.

"There we go... just had an itch there for a second..."

But while Applejack didn't see Dash picking her nose, two other figures did, having walked in just as she was finishing up.

Josh and Apple Bloom just stood there in a bit of shock, the young filly nearly gagging at seeing Dash do something so gross.

"She.. she was just digging for gold!", she whispered, "And she wiped it under the couch! EWWW!"

"Yeah...", Josh sighed, "But even when she's digging in her nostrils, she's still cute..."

Apple Bloom just looked at the teen with her mouth agape for a few seconds before she found her words returning, "Man, you ARE in love, ain't ya? But we've got a job to do... but YOU are waking up the nose-picker!"

Josh nodded as the two walked over to where the two equine were sleeping and nuzzled the both of them, running their hands and hooves in their manes to jostle them to the land of the living.

"Wake up, you two sleepyhorses!"

"Time ta rise an' shine!"

Slowly, their eyes opened up and Rainbow Dash and Applejack found themselves looking into the faces of Joshua Rocket and Apple Bloom

"Wuh.. huh?", Applejack murmured, rubbing her eyes, "How long was we out?"

"I think about 5 hours, sis.", the little filly replied, still having trouble looking at the pegasus after catching her doing "brain surgery", "We're just about ready fer the next part of your training."

Rainbow Dash yawned before she turned to Josh, "Does it involve food? All that sleep and exercise made me hungry!"

This produced a wince from Apple Bloom, one that didn't go unnoticed by her big sister.

"What's with you, Bloom? Ya look like ya just ate a fly or sometin'!"

"Uh... I don't wanna talk about it...", the younger sis replied, trying desperately to block the image out of her mind. She knew if Scootaloo ever found out her idol was a gold-digger, she'd start too! "Let's just head into the kitchen.. the others are waiting for us!"

With a nod, Applejack and Rainbow Dash climbed off the big couch and let Apple Bloom and Joshua lead them. As they approached the open kitchen, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but get a whiff of something delectable from the cooking area.

"Hey AJ... do you smell something?"

Curiously, the cowpony raised her snout in the air and took a sniff, letting a warm smile spread on her face as the enticing aroma entered her nostrils.

"I do indeed, sugah. Somethin' smells mighty good!"

"I'm not surprised Rainbow Dash can smell the food after digging in her nose like that...", Apple Bloom couldn't help but murmur, getting a slight nudge from the human walking beside her.

"Let it go, Bloom... let it go...", he murmured as they finally entered the threshold and were greeted by Pinkie Pie shouting one simple word...

"SURPRISE!"

The startle was so intense that all 4 of them quickly found themselves sprawled onto the floor and immediately Pinkie Pie bounced over to them with a giggle. "Oops, hee hee! I guess I got carried away!"

"You know, there are times when I think you SHOULD be carried away... to the nuthouse!", Rainbow Dash groaned as she got to her hooves, "I swear Pinkie Pie, one of these days-"

It was then she got her first glimpse at the giant smorgasborg of food that had been laid out on not just the giant kitchen table, but a set of trays leading all the way out the door and halfway out of the orchard. It didn't take long for Applejack to catch sight of the array as well and soon the two equine found themselves drooling wildly. They could see dishes of all kinds spread out, from pancakes to cheesecakes and burgers to bananas and everything in between. This was what it was all about, this was what they were looking forward to in their training!

"How... how long did it take ya'll to prepare all this fancy food?" Applejack couldn't help but mutter in sheer awe, "There looks like enough here to feed Celestia's entire Royal Guard!"

"We've been cookin' an' bakin' since the twos of ya took that nap!", Granny Smith replied with a grin.

"It wasn't easy, I'll tell ya that much...", Meowth couldn't help but add, wiping some of the sweat off his furry head from all the work he'd done putting together the sandwiches.

"Nope!", Big MacIntosh agreed, getting a small chuckle from his granny and sisters.

"We all worked together to put together this feast for you two.", Twilight calmly answered, "It's only a fraction of what you'll be consuming at the Eatoff if I'm not mistaken."

"So does this mean we can start eating?", Rainbow Dash asked as she licked her lips hungrily. She'd immediately spotted a nice big bowl of chowder and was eager to dive in.

"Not just yet... Spike, Meowth, Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

Immediately, the 5 shortest members of the group gathered in front of the purple unicorn; Scootaloo at the forefront with Sweetie Belle and Meowth right behind her and Apple Bloom and Spike in the far back.

"You call us, miss Twilight?", Scootaloo asked curiously

"I need you all to get under the tables and keep an eye on how big their stomaches get as they gorge."

"You hear that gals?", the pegasus filly grinned, "It sounds like a job for..."

In unison, the three fillies screamed out at the top of their lungs...

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MEASURERS!"

Spike and Meowth were left covering their ears painfully, trying to stop the ringing from having been right next to the crusaders battle cry.

"Must you ALWAYS do that?", Spike growled as he tried to shake his hearing back to normal before turning back to his friend, "And why do they need to be measured anyways?"

" We need to know how much they can hold before..."

At this Twilight looked down shyly, finding the words she wanted to say next not wanting to leave her throat...

"Before they barf...", she whispered softly

At this, Rainbow Dash and Applejacks eyes went as big as dinner plates and the two found themselves looking at Twilight Sparkle as if she'd gone NUTS!

"Sugah, I must be hearing things... did ya just say ya want ta know how much we can hold before we throw up?"

The unicorn didn't respond with anything but a mere nod as the whole crowd started looking at her in shock.

"Girl, are you outta yer cotton-picking mind? You want them to throw up?", Granny Smith blurted out, pretty much speaking what was on the minds of everypony there.

"Not exactly!", Twilight tried to explain to the crowd in front of her.

"Then tell us, sugah...", Applejack whispered darkly.

"I'd like to know too, Twi..", Josh added, his hand slipped into his pocket, "What does feeding them until they blow chunks help gain other than creating a big smelly mess?"

"Yes! Please tell us!", Rarity added with a shudder, "What would forcing them to do something so revolting help accomplish?"

The lavender unicorn sighed and rubbed her hoof against her head before she spoke. "If Rainbow Dash and Applejack stuff themselves before they have to blow, we can see how much their stomaches can hold. Then, day by day, we can help stretch out their bellies bit by bit to allow them to hold in more food and by the time the competition comes around in two weeks, they'll both be capable of intaking as much food as Champagne, if not MORE! But we need to see their maximum for now and for that... they need to consume food until they have to puke!"

A silence went throughout the room as everypony tried to comprehend Twilight Sparkles logic and as much as they all hated to admit it... it was flawless thinking.

"Damn... she's right...", Rainbow Dash admitted sadly to the cowpony.

"That's why she's Twilight Sparkle... she can create logic in anytin'...", Applejack sighed before turning to Granny Smith, "Does the bathroom door still stick?"

"I think they've fixed it up... but I still wouldn't close it all the ways dearie.", she replied, knowing why her granddaughter was asking, since they'd need to pray to the porcelain eventually.

"Dash... AJ... You two know you don't have to d-", Josh tried to speak up, only to have the cyan pegasus place a hoof up, signaling for him to cease his speaking.

"Josh... we have to. I said I knew I'd be throwing up at one point... and if in the end we can put that jerk in his place...", Dash replied before nodding to her friend.

"It'll be worth revisiting one or two meals.", Applejack added as she looked at the head of their big kitchen table where two big chairs were set for the ponies to rest their flanks as they chowed down and almost instantly she and Dash could feel their stomaches lurch at knowing how much they'd have to eat, "Should we take our seats?"

Twilight nodded before she turned and gave a look to Apple bloom. "Sweetie, can you and your friends-"

With a sigh, the filly nodded and watched as her friends went underneath the giant table before she turned to the pegasus. "Just... would you please wash your hooves?"

Rainbow Dash was confused, but didn't question her request and, heading over to the sink, wiped down her hooves before she took her seat, adjusting herself to where her big rump was comfortable in her position and nodded to Applejack to do the same. Next to Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash had the biggest butt out of any of them! Without hesitation, the cowpony got herself into the chair next to the pegasus and gave her a look, one that told her that she was ready to begin. With a deep breath, Rainbow Dash turned to Granny Smith and Twilight Sparkle and nodded.

"So is it like where we just eat what we desire or do we have you serve us?", she asked.

"It's a little bit of both. You can see we've got a huge spread on the table as is, but if you two get done with all this food, we've got an impressive array of other foods ready to be served. We'll keep serving and feeding you until... well..."

Dash and AJ nodded in understanding, knowing they wouldn't stop being fed until they had to throw up. As the two of them looked upon all the foods waiting to be eaten, they couldn't help but take a deep sniff of all the delicious aromas, rubbing their tummies hungrily.

"It DOES smell mighty good, don't it?", Applejack sighed.

"That it does, AJ, that it does... shall we?", Rainbow Dash asked her friend.

With a nod, the two equine got to doing what they knew the contest was all about... eating!

From a huge pile of pancakes to a whole cheesecake to a full loaf of bread, edible after edible went down into their throats, much to the amazement of the crowd watching them.

"I've never seen anything like it!", Twilight remarked

"I thought Pinkie Pie had a bottomless stomach!", Scootaloo added wide-eyed in admiration of her idol's growing belly

"Ya gotta rememba' what dey've got at stake...", Meowth reminded her, "If they lose this contest, Ponyville itself could be faced with a severe famine thanks to that unicorn!"

"Catty's right!", Granny Smith agreed overhearing the cat-pokemon's response.

"Oh for... my name's Meowth! Not Catty! Gah!", Meowth groaned in frustration, smacking his head with a paw much to the laughter of Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Mmmmmm..." Rainbow Dash grinned as she slurped down a giant bowl of white clam chowder and licked the frost from it off her lip greedily, "This is MY kind of training!"

"I'm kinda surprised, Dashie!", Applejack said in surprise as she munched through one of the giant cupcakes that Pinkie Pie had made, "I'd... _Gulp_... I'd think you'd be more interested in trainin' for the Wonderbolts wit' yer... _munch munch_...fancy aerobatics!"

"Are ya' kiddin'?", The cyan-colored pegasus replied, "My flying moves are... _Mmmm_... second to none of course! But this... getting to have fun while training... _gulp!_... all for a HUGE cash prize an' getting time off work... THIS is awesome!".

It was then she saw it... and tears of joy welled up in her eyes..

A nice big frosty mug of the Apple family's famous cider... a drink she had so much trouble gettin' her hooves on thanks to all the lines of ponies ahead of her... and now she had a big tall mug of it right at her hoofs tip.

"My... precious...", she whimpered joyfully before taking the mug and chugging down the contents without so much as a breath. Even below the table, the sound of her swigging down the liquid rang loud and clear and before anyone knew what was going on... a lone southern-accented voice had started a chant of one simple word repeated over and over.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Within 20 seconds, the entire glass had disappeared down the pegasus' throat and immediately she felt the bubbling in her belly, knowing drinking so much at once was gonna lead to one heck of a belch. Almost instanteonously, the crowd and Applejack could see her clutch the table and clench her mouth shut as her cheeks swelled...

"She's gonna blow!", Rarity screamed, hiding behind Josh.

"No, but I think something ELSE is about to come out...", Pinkie Pie grinned, bracing herself against Fluttershy, and sure enough... Rainbow Dash opened her mouth and...

**"BBBBBEEEELLLCCHHHHH!"**

She let out an earth-shaking belch, one that rattled windows in buildings 4 towns away and made a couple classes of fillies burst out laughing in the nearby school. A power surge ran through the next town over and ponies could swear they saw a billboard fall backwards! The force of the blast was so powerful it nearly blew Fluttershy, the lightest of the crowd, right out the door! It was only by Pinkie Pie and Rarity's intervention that the yellow pegasus wasn't blown away into the next COUNTRY! After almost half a minute, the belch finally died down and left Rainbow Dash leaning back with a VERY proud expression on her face as she patted her belly.

"That... was... so... COOOL!", Scootaloo squealed as she looked up from underneath where she and the others were monitoring the bellies and gushed at her idol letting out such an expulsion of air!

"Like I said... this is gonna be so AWESOME!", Rainbow Dash grinned as she reached back for a big buttered roll and took a nice big bite out of it.

"It won't be so awesome when you're seeing it in reverse...", Spike couldn't help but mutter to himself as he watched Applejacks belly get bigger and bigger. Seeing the two getting to stuff themselves made him feel a bit jealous and even though Twilight and Fluttershy had reassured him and the others that they'd fix up a special meal for everyone to thank them for all the work, he couldn't help but envy them. He'd asked about joining the contest himself, but Twilight had replied it was for equines only... she'd asked about having Meowth and Josh enter too and Celestia's reply had been polite but succtint that since dragons had VERY big stomaches that it wouldn't be fair to even Champagne. The fact that they were going to have to have rainbow yawns before long gave him a small sadistic bit of pleasure.

"What was that?", Sweetie Belle asked the dragon, hearing his snickering and muttering and raising an eyebrow.

"Nothin'!", Spike whistled innocently, while inwardly chuckling and seeing how much Applejack's belly was growing and groaning, knowing at least SHE was approaching her limit.

The more the cowpony ate the more her tummy was filled and after her third full watermelon, she was seeing 2 of everything, including all the ponies around her.

"Twi... is it me or does everyone here have a twin all of a sudden?", she asked, rubbing her green eyes and trying to shake her senses clear.

"No, it's just us!", the unicorn responded, "But you're not looking so good..."

"I'am not feelin' so good eitha'...", Applejack moaned, hiccuping and covering her mouth before swallowing and reaching for another giant piece of apple pie. Rainbow Dash on the other hand was already on her fifth full cherry pie and as full as she was getting, she refused to stop her consumption of all the foods. Even in training, she was determined to show them that she was at the top of her game.

"Applejack's lookin' mighty sick..", Big Mac remarked as he watched his little sister continuing to eat, even as her face began turning a pale shade of green similar to that found on the leaves of a tree.

"Ya think?", Josh calmly remarked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a rather large brick of cheese before taking a nice bite from the top. He'd known how much food would be made and knew the odds of him getting hungry during the watching were pretty high, so when he'd gone to his world to pick up the secret recipes, he'd made an extra stop and picked himself up a snack. He'd gotten snacks for everyone else, but he'd saved his for when the actual food-training started.

"How can you eat that when you know before long we'll be hearing the oh so pleasant sounds of Applejack and Rainbow Dash sharing their stomaches with the porcelain?", Rarity asked haughtily.

"Got no gag reflex, Rarity.", Josh replied without a beat as he took another chunk out and swallowed it after giving a few good chews, "Dr. Whooves had to remove it with part of my throat thanks to a shard of a knife slicing it like an orange."

"How the heck are you still alive?", Granny Smith blurted out.

"That I have no answer for, Granny Smith... no answer at all..."

By now Applejack could feel her belly quiver and below the table, Apple Bloom could tell that nausea was about to send some of the food back up and she got to work quickly measuring how big her sisters belly had grown, coming up with a measurement of 19 inches.

"Urp... I.. I can't eat anymore..", the cowpony quivered as she felt her stomach clench up and her throat expand. She knew she was about to throw up and it was all she could do not to lose it all over the table. She could feel her cheeks start to swell and knew her stomach was busy clearing out most of the excess food. Rainbow Dash could hear her friends moans and she looked at her curiously, her mouth full of mashed potatoes.

"AJ? You ok?"

Weakly turning to the pegasus and seeing the mashed spuds dripping down the sides of her mouth, Applejack couldn't take it anymore...

"I'm gonna puke!", she gagged before covering her mouth with her hoof and tearing straight for the bathroom, running as fast as she could to her porcelain goddess. Mercifully, the bathroom door was open and the cowpony pushed it inwards before collapsing onto the toilet. Her head was barely looking into the bowl before she took her hoof away from her bulging mouth and vomited, her throat opening up and pouring a wave of bile and chunks of half-digested food into the crystal clear waters below. The sounds of her retching made everyone in the kitchen, including Rainbow Dash, wince.

"Ugh... it sounds like a drunk bachelor party in there!" Rarity remarked, placing a hoof on her head.

"I just hope my Apple dearie's ok!", Granny Smith added nervously, putting a hoof to her own mouth in worry.

Twilight Sparkle just sighed and turned to Apple Bloom, who'd come out from underneath the table where her four friends were still keeping an eye on Rainbow Dash's own growing stomach. "How big did her belly get?"

"19 inches, Twi!", the young red-maned filly replied, wincing as Applejack retched painfully as another thick wave of her stomachs contents returned from where they came in. It took her about half a minute before she felt the last of her meal come up from her belly and out her mouth into the bowl of water below. Resting her head on the toilet seat, she groaned in relief at feeling all the pressure on her stomach now resting in the porcelain container. Weakly, she managed to push down on the handle, allowing the now colored chunky water to swirl down the drain, and made her way to the sink, washing her face and mouth before exiting the bathroom and heading back to the kitchen...

But in her nausea-driven delirium, she closed the bathroom door out of habit, forgetting Granny Smith's warning.

Back at the table, Rainbow Dash was also starting to reach her limit. That last giant slice of pizza hadn't gone down too smoothly and her stomach was letting her know.

"_Urgh_...", she groaned, leaning forward and holding her stomach lightly.

"Dash? You ok?", Big MacIntosh asked in worry.

Despite how she was feeling, the pegasus didn't want to show herself as being weak and she managed a wavery smile as she reached for another sausage-coated slice of pizza pie, despite the audible protest of her tummy. "Never better... well.. down the hatch with slice number 23...", she joked before taking a big bite of the slice and chewing it slowly, trying desperately not to cough it back up before she swallowed it down into her full stomach. It was by now that Applejack had managed to stumble her way back into the kitchen and Twilight could see the cowpony was looking drained.

"You feeling better, AJ?"

"Ah... Ah don't think there's anythin' left in me that ah can puke...", she muttered as she wiped her head and readjusted her hat, "Is there anytin' in ma mane?"

Tentatively taking a step towards the pale pony and getting a whiff of her breath, Twilight held her snout and leaned in. Surprisingly, she couldn't find any stray drops or chunks in her friends blonde mane.

"No, you're clean.", she answered with her voice growing nasally from her snout being held shut, "But your belly got to 19 inches, AJ! That's not bad!"

"Yeah...", the cowpony panted, "But right now I just wanna rest... how's Rainbow Dash doin'... I don't wanna see food right now..."

Nodding in understanding, Fluttershy looked at the cyan pegasus still chowing down. But even from her far vantage point, she could tell she was getting queasy just from the pained expression on her face.

"_Ugh_...", Rainbow Dash groaned as she reached for yet another giant burger, "Down the hatch..." But as she brought it to her mouth, she felt her stomach spasm violently and her eyes shot wide open before she covered her mouth with her hoof, much to everyones alarm. Her vision was starting to blur from all the food in her stomach now wanting to come out, but she was determined to continue eating as much as she could and she pursed her lips shut and gripped the table as she barely managed to swallow down the large mouthful that had built up in her cheeks. She felt awful and knew soon she was gonna puke, but she wasn't gonna let this food beat her so easily and she forced herself to take in a giant bite of the burger, clenching the table until she swallowed.

"How is she doing this?", Josh asked in alarm to the lavender unicorn, "She wants to be sick, I can tell!". Seeing her push herself so far was starting to creep the human out... he didn't want to watch the one he loved eat themselves to death! "Dashie! For Celestia's sake, allow yourself to puke already... you're gonna end up makin' yourself explode!"

"That's Rainbow Dash for ya...", Applejack quivered, "She doesn't know when to call it in..."

Underneath the table, Scootaloo finished quickly measuring her idols blue swollen belly. It had reached a whopping 34 inches and from the amount of groaning and gurgling it was doing, she knew it would be best that she and the others stepped away from the pegasus so when she had to throw up, nothing would get in her way.

"She's NUTS!", Meowth whispered to the orange filly, "Why is she forcing more food down? Her tummy is screaming for her to stop!"

"I don't know!", Scootaloo replied. Even SHE was frightened by how much her mentors stomach was shaking.

Rainbow Dash could see the crowd staring at her as the sweat poured down her face. The sight of all the food in front of her made her feel even worse and she was wishing it would all just disappear.

"_I can't barf, I can't barf... I've only got a little more of the table left to clear... I can do it..._", she thought to herself as she tried to stare down the last few bits of food on the table. But as she reached for another one of the giant cupcakes, she felt her tummy spasm VIOLENTLY and she knew it wouldn't be long now before it all came up... she had to get to the bathroom and FAST! She clutched her stomach and leaned forward, groaning in pain and trying to calm herself to where she could try drinking some water to settle her belly, but it was no use...

"I'm gonna barf!", she gagged as she could feel the first few chunks starting to creep into her throat. She had to throw up and she had to do it now! Her eyes shot wide open and she could feel her cheeks starting to bulge as her tummy got to work sending everything in her middle in reverse and, pursing her lips shut again, she leapt off the chair and sped to the bathroom.

"_Hold it... hold it.. don't lose it in the hallway... almost there!_", she repeated to herself as she saw the door leading to her savior ahead of her. But when she tried to open it, she found to her horror that the door was stuck!

"Come.._Ulp_.. on! Not now!", she gagged as she pounded on the wall next to the door, trying to alert anyone who could hear that something was wrong, "Someone.._Urp_... please!"

Immediately, Big MacIntosh, Josh, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity all sped towards where Rainbow Dash was calling. Everyone else stood back to watch over Applejack as they knew those 4 were the calmest of the group and the likeliest to be able to get the door open without upsetting Dash and causing a redecoration of the hallway, plus Fluttershy could help keep order if something unpleasant happened.

"We're coming sweetie!", Rarity called.

"Please... _bluergh_... hurry!", Rainbow Dash whimpered in pain.

"Just hang on! We'll get that door open in a hurry!", Big MacIntosh added as they approached where the cyan pegasus was trying to use one hoof to pull the door open and the other to hold in her stomach. Gesturing for the cramped pegasus to step away, the big red colt reached into his saddlebag and, pulling out a big hammer, got to work at trying to loosen the door jam. As they watched Big MacIntosh get to work, Rarity caught a glimpse of Dash's face pointed right at her and immediately she shrieked and backed away.

Rainbow Dash was holding her stomach and trying desperately to hold her mouth shut, her lips pursed tightly to hold in her watermelon-sized cheeks. She was sweating a river and her eyes were watering from the effort that she was putting into holding her lunch in. There was so much pressure in her mouth it was making her nostrils flare and Rarity could see snot and moisture even pouring from inside them! It wouldn't be long before the wave inside the pegasus's cheeks was all over the hallway AND HER unless they got that door opened quick and her face above the toilet!

"HURRY, Big Mac! For the love of Celestia! Hurry!", she squealed, not wanting to be the one covered in Rainbow Dash's rainbow-colored chunks.

"Just... about... got it...", Big Mac grunted as he held the hammer in his mouth and continued to pound away at the stuck door until finally they could all hear it loosen to where the colt could pry it open, much to everyone's relief, "Got it!"

But as he turned around to let them know the toilet was free, the hammer slipped out of Big MacIntosh's mouth and did something no one would have expected. It bounced off Twilight's horn, shot into Josh's shoulderblade, flew off that into Fluttershy's wing, and came headed straight for Rarity's skull!

"Rarity! Watch out!", Twilight screamed just as Rarity lifted her forehoof to shield herself from the tool. The move worked, causing the object to bounce off her hoof harmlessly.

"Whew... that almost hit me!", Rarity panted in relief... until another sound caught her attention...

_Ooggh... ulp... uh oh..._

Looking down, Rarity could see the hammer resting between Rainbow Dash's haunches... from where it had made contact with the bulge in her belly. As she looked up, she could see the pegasus' face bulging even more as the nausea grew unbearable and the unicorn knew what was about to happen as her iris shrunk to the size of pinpricks.

"No!", she squeaked, trying to turn tail. But it was too late...

Rainbow Dash's lunch had to come out and before the pegasus could stop herself, she had opened her mouth and...

**"BLLEARRGHHHHHHHH!"**

A thick multi-colored wave of her stomach's insides came rushing out of the pegasus's mouth all over the hallway and all over poor Rarity's coat as Rainbow Dash barfed. The unicorn's body froze the moment the first few drops stained her and before she knew it, she was getting an upclose encounter with all that Dash had just eaten, all the while, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Josh were left wincing and groaning as they watched nature run its course through the poor pegasus. They knew the pegasi's mane was colorful, but there were colors in it none of them thought possible. The sounds of her meal splattering everywhere could be heard even in the kitchen as Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Meowth, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Spike and Granny Smith were all left listening in horror to the projectile-vomiting.

"Oh great!", Granny Smith groused, "Now I'M gonna have to clean that mess up, ain't I?"

"Well it sure as heck ain't gonna be me!", Meowth remarked, looking to his side and shuddering at hearing the pegasus having one hell of a rainbow yawn.

Poor Rainbow Dash was helpless to stop herself as more of her meal came out all over her friend and covering the hallway in a big smelly mess until finally she felt the first wave die down long enough for her to look on in horror at her barf-covered friend looking back in her and covering her stained mouth with her hoof.

"Rarity... I'm...", she gagged in shock, "I'm sorry..."

Rarity couldn't say anything... she couldn't even think... one of her worst nightmares had just become truth...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The unicorn let out a piercing scream, sounding like her mind had just broken, and shot out past Dash and the others out into the kitchen and out the back door. All the while, she just kept shrieking...

"MY COAT! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL COAT! MY MANE! MY BODY!"

She was screaming so much that Sweetie Belle had to rush out after her to make sure she didn't get arrested for causing a disturbance!

All Rainbow Dash could do was look in horror at the mess she had just produced and at her stunned friends before she felt her sickness come back up and she had to rush into the now-open bathroom and send what was left in her tummy into the clear waters of the toilet bowl, Josh and Fluttershy rushing in after her and leaving Big MacIntosh and Twilight Sparkle looking at each other, then at the mess... and they both shouted the same thing in unison...

"GRANNY SMITH! WE NEED A MOP! NOW!"

* * *

><p>Rainbow Dash felt awful as she heaved more of the acidic contents of her stomach into the bowl below. She had been throwing up so much it was making her nose run and her head was pounding. Having Fluttershy and Josh there to hold her mane and rub her back wasn't much comfort as she remembered the look on Rarity's face after she threw up on her.<p>

"Dash... you ok?", Fluttershy asked calmly as she rubbed her friend's heaving backside, "You got most of it out?"

"_Urp_... _Ugh_... I just barfed all over Rarity... she's gonna kill me! _Ulp_...", the pegasus managed to gasp out before she leaned back down into the bowl and let out another torrent of what she'd just consumed.

"It wasn't your fault, Dashie...", Josh whispered soothingly and getting a nod from the yellow pegasus nearby, "It had to come out..."

"I just didn't think there'd be so much...", Fluttershy remarked, getting a look from the human, "What? I didn't!"

"_Ooogh_... How do other ponies DO this..." Rainbow Dash panted woefully as she looked at the thick mess that colored the inside of the toilet bowl, "I... I thought I was the best..."

"Dashie, sweetie..", Josh cooed to the sickened pegasus, "You just started your training today... besides, I got the measurement back from Scootaloo... 34 inches!"

Rainbow Dash barely managed to turn her head towards Josh and Fluttershy, the migraine in her still causing her skull to pound like a drum. "34 wha?"

"34 inches!", Fluttershy replied, "Your belly got to 34 inches in capacity... that's amazing!"

"Yeah! Plus I never saw anybody barf like that... THAT was gross, but impressive at the same time...", Josh joked, seeing a small grin ebb at the corners of her stained mouth.

"It... was pretty cool how long I held out, wasn't it...", Rainbow Dash asked coyly.

The two fellow pegasi nodded as Fluttershy fetched one of the nearby towels and helped dab off the excess hurl from the sides of Dash's mouth, as well as the sweat from her head and snout.

"Sounds like you're feelin' a little better.", Josh smiled as he and Fluttershy helped the cyan mare to her hooves.

Rainbow Dash nodded, but let out a loud ugly belch and patted her stomach, an indication that she was still feelin' sick.

"Don't you worry,", Fluttershy cooed, brushing her friends ruffled mane back, "I'll make you some nice warm tea to settle your stomach."

As they watched Fluttershy head out towards the kitchen, using her wings to fly over the huge mess in the hallway and Granny Smith approaching with the mop, Josh helped Rainbow Dash get her mouth washed out and helped her blow her nose to clear her head from all the dizziness the vomiting had caused.

"You know, Dash, you can always back out of this... AJ and I can do this alone...", Josh tried to reassure the pegasus, only to have her give him a fierce look of indignation.

"Are you kidding? Just because I threw up doesn't mean i'm GIVING up! You heard what Twilight said. This was to see how much our stomaches could hold! Day by day, me and AJ'll be more than capable of taking in more and more until the day of the contest comes and we're both able to put Champagne down to shame! Besides, think of it like this... who knows if the Wonderbolts are watching the contest! They could see my tenacity and ask me to help them with some of their moves!"

At hearing Rainbow Dash's voice ring back to its normal boastful tone, Josh couldn't help but give his sweetheart a big hug.

"That's why I love you, Dash... You never give up!"

The pegasus tried to smile, but a gurgling in her belly cut her short and she held her mouth closed until she could swallow what was trying to come back up. Seeing she was still suffering from a few throes of nausea, Josh helped Rainbow Dash out of the bathroom and gave her over to Big MacIntosh.

"Can you take her upstairs to rest? I remember Applebloom mentioned earlier that Rainbow Dash could stay here while the training was going on..."

The big colt cut him off. "No problem, but can you check on Applejack for me? I wanna make sure she gets 'er rest in too.."

"Of course.", Josh replied before turning his attention over to Twilight Sparkle, "But first Twilight and I need to have a talk and head back out to the kitchen."

Big MacIntosh nodded and gently led the weak pegasus upstairs before Josh turned to Twilight and motioned for her to follow him back to the kitchen.

"Twilight, listen... are you sure that making them eat until they threw up was really ne-"

Twilight cut him off with a sigh before she nodded. "Yes, Josh. I said it before, we needed to know their maximum capacity. Now that we know, we can help them bit by bit expand their stomach's strength until the day of the contest!"

"What about Rarity? Rainbow Dash threw up all over her... what do you think she'll do? I've never seen her so... so crazed! For all we know, she could have snapped and try to turn Rainbow Dash into some of Pinkie Pie's cupcakes!"

"Josh, what are the odds of that happening?"

It was then for just a few seconds that an uneasy silence took over the two of them before they shook their heads in dismissal at such a thought before they went into the kitchen where the others were waiting for them.

"So what happened?", Meowth asked, "We all saw Rarity run out screaming covered in vomit and Sweetie Belle went after her!"

"Before that we heard what sounded like Rainbow Dash having the biggest barf any of us had ever heard!", Scootaloo added, getting a visible groan from Applejack. The cowpony was still trying to let her stomach calm itself, even though her vomiting hadn't been as severe as the pegasus's, and hearing about her friend spewing didn't exactly make her stomach any calmer.

"Ugh... Please don't say that, Scoots...", Applejack moaned before turning to Josh and Twilight, "Is that what happened, sugahs?"

Twilight nodded sadly, "I'll spare you guys the details, but right now Big MacIntosh is leading Dash upstairs to rest..."

"Ah know... Fluttershy just flew out the door to get some tea... an' a rest sounds pretty good right now... I'm gonna go head upstairs and get some myself.." The cowpony mentioned before walking out towards the hallway leading to the stairs...

"WAIT!", Josh tried to call out, "AJ, don't!"

But it was too late...

"LAND SAKES! WHAT THE HAY HAPPENED HERE?", they heard Applejack call out.

"RAINBOW DASH HAPPENED HERE!", they heard Granny Smith reply.

As Spike and Meowth shook their heads in dismay, they all heard Pinkie Pie snickering behind them and the dragon couldn't help but give the party pony a look of sheer confusion.

"What the heck is so dang funny?" Applebloom asked, not bothering to hide the tones of irritance in her voice

Pinkie Pie snorted before she gave the filly her reply, "Granny Smith always DID mention wanting a new coat of paint for the hall!"

This produced a collective groan from the group and Meowth could only say a few words that summed up pretty much what everyone in the group was thinking...

"Pinkie Pie... sometimes you really scare me."


	7. Calming Crazy

"There you go... that should help calm your bellies..."

The two mare were resting in Applejack's guest bedroom, tucked nice and warm into the big spare bed and as Fluttershy gave Rainbow Dash and Applejack hot cups of her famous herbal tea, the yellow pegasus smiled at her friends, cooing to them like they were her singing birds or her precious bunny Angel.

"Thanks...", Dash quivered, taking the tea and sipping it cautiously, not wanting to drink it too fast and have it end up making a second appearance. She had to admit it tasted pretty good and the smell of honey and jasmine wafting into her nostrils wasn't bad either.

"Fluttershy, you don't have to do this... I could always just make us some tea when our stomaches feel up to it...", Applejack said. But Fluttershy would have none of it.

"Nonsense.. you two are doing Ponyville proud by putting yourselves through this to stand up to that... that... meanie.", she whispered gently as she fluffed the cowpony's pillow.

"Rainbow Dash..", Applejack asked, "If we do manage to wi-"

"Not if... WHEN, AJ.", Rainbow Dash couldn't help but grin to her cowpony friend. Even with an uneasy stomach, her competitive attitude was still at its maximum peak.

Applejack and Fluttershy couldn't help but grin before the former spoke again. "Ok, WHEN we win this competition-thing, what do you plan on doing with your share of that 50,000 bits?"

"Share?", Fluttershy asked, "You mean you guys would be dividing the prize?"

"Of course!", Rainbow Dash replied with a grin, "I'm the element of Loyalty after all... You know I wouldn't hog all the bits for myself!"

At this, Fluttershy gave them both a big hug and a squeal of joy. She loved it when her friends were not only getting along, but planning to team up against adversaries!

"That's just so wonderful!", she squeaked, hovering in the air and clapping her hooves together, "I'm so relieved you gals aren't gonna fight over that prize..."

"Fluttershy, I think you've been watching too many cartoons with the Crusaders...", Rainbow Dash quipped, "Not every bond can break thanks to greed!"

At hearing something so wise come from the streetwise pegasus, Fluttershy and Applejack couldn't help but give their friend a puzzled look as she sipped her cup of tea, the liquid doing a lot of help to settle her quaking stomach. Finally, she set the cup down and looked at both the starers.

"What? You hang around an egghead like Twilight Sparkle long enough, you're bound to pick up some of her wisdom!"

The two other equine had to concede that this was a very valid point. Twilight had a way of spreading her intelligent demeanor around, even in the most subtle of ways. Whether by just her logic or even through her sagely sayings, it was like listening to somepony let out a big healthy yawn, equally as catching.

"That's true indeed!", Applejack agreed before letting out a nice big yawn herself. The tea had done wonders for helping her stomach settle, but right now she wanted a nice rest... a way to let the last few throes of illness disappate. Fluttershy could see both Rainbow Dash and Applejack were looking a little sleepy and she calmly flew to the closet and fetched a couple of buckets.

"These are just in case... well..", Fluttershy blushed, letting the growing redness on her cheeks say the words for her.

"In case we need to revisit a little bit more of the food?", Rainbow Dash asked, getting a shy nod in return.

"This way, you don't have to travel to the bathroom... you can just rest in bed and let nature run its course."

At hearing this, something clicked in Applejacks head and she turned to her rainbow-maned companion. "Dash, why DIDN'T you just go upstairs when the downstairs bathroom was stuck?"

Rainbow Dash grimaced as she rubbed her gurgling belly gently. "AJ, if I had tried to get up those stairs... a lot more than just a hallway would have needed to be mopped up."

Again, Applejack had to concede Dash had a point. Trying even to FLY upstairs on a sick tummy would have been akin to just putting her on a tilt-a-whirl! But at the moment, she just wanted to get some rest...

"Are you two going to be ok if I head downstairs?", Fluttershy asked softly.

"Yeah, we should be good. Ah just wanna get some rest right now. I'm just glad Caramel is able ta take o'er the farm while we train..."

Smiling, Fluttershy started to fly out of the bedroom, but Rainbow Dash's voice stopped her.

"Fluttershy?"

Turning around, the yellow pegasus could see Rainbow Dash gently sitting up against the bedframe. "Yes, Dash?"

"Can... can you tell Josh I'm ok... and tell Rarity I'm sorry?"

The timid flyer couldn't help but let out an audible gulp at the second request. She'd seen how frantic the white unicorn had gotten after Rainbow Dash ralphed on her and she also knew that, while she had a habit of being overly theatrical at times... when a legitimate problem arose, she could become very very unstable.

"O...ok...", she whimpered as she flew out of the room, leaving Dash and AJ resting in the bed. Slowly, Rainbow Dash let her eyes shut and her head sank back into the warmth of the big pillow. The exhaustion from the combination of eating mass quantities and throwing up made it so it took little time for the two ponies to drift off to sleep. But deep in the back of their minds, they couldn't help but wonder...

What the heck had they gotten themselves truly into...

* * *

><p>Even in the crisp moonlight and starry sky, Fluttershy never felt so scared... She was only steps away from the Carousel Boutique and she was terrified at how Rarity would react after what happened back at Sweet Apple Acres. Even though Josh was waiting only a few feet away, the teen agreeing to go with her as everyone else got the place cleaned up from the first days session, she felt uneasy and wished someone else could have gone to the unicorns house in her stead.<p>

"Easy, Fluttershy...", she told herself over and over, "You've talked to her dozens of times... this isn't gonna be any different... just because she got thrown up on isn't gonna make her mad at you..."

Before the timid yellow pegasus knew it, she was at the door of the boutique. Taking a deep swallow and feeling goosebumps all over her body, she raised her hoof and gently tapped on the door.

"Rarity?", she squeaked, "Rarity are you th-"

"GO AWAY! I'M NEVER COMING OUT! NEVER!", a crazed and angry voice bellowed out from the other side.

"Uh... um... Rarity please... it's Fluttershy..."

"FLUTTERSHY? WHY DIDN'T YOU PROTECT ME?"

"Um ... it... it all happened so fast..."

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! MY BODY IS TARNISHED FOREVER! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU AND THAT RAINBOW DASH!"

Hearing Rarity's harsh voice screaming at her, Fluttershy found herself close to tears. But the pegasus forced herself to keep trying to reason with her friend.

"Rarity, please... she's really so-"

"I NEVER WANT TO TALK OR SEE EITHER OF YOU AGAIN! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"But... but..."

'ALL YOUR FAULT! GO AWAY FROM HERE AND NEVER COME BACK!"

That was all the shy pegasus could take and before she knew it, she was sobbing uncontrollably and rushing away from the boutique door past where the teen was waiting.

"Fluttershy, wait!", he called out. But the pegasus was deaf to all but her wails and she flew off without saying a word to her friend.

Josh felt a mixture of sorrow and anger. He'd heard everything Rarity had yelled, in fact he was sure the whole TOWN had heard! He didn't care WHAT Rarity had gone through, Fluttershy didn't even remotely deserve to be screamed at... but he knew he couldn't go after Rarity alone... he had to go after the one pony who could get just as angry as her...

It took him all of 5 minutes to go to Sugarcube Corner and fetch Pinkamena Diane Pie. As soon as she heard what Rarity had roared at her, her OWN voice took on an enraged pitch and she had DEMANDED Josh lead her to the boutique. The minute they were at the doorstep, Pinkie Pie knocked rapidly on the door, using her head, and called back to the unicorn on the other side.

"RARITY! YOU COME OUT HERE NOW! NOPONY TALKS TO FLUTT-"

"GO AWAY, PINKIE PIE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU! I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE!"

"FLUTTERSHY WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU!"

"I SAID GO AWAY! THERE'S NO PARTY THAT WILL TAKE AWAY MY SHAME!"

"RARITY!"

"I SAID GO AWAY... NOW!"

Pinkie Pie was left speechless and she found herself close to tears as well. She had never heard ANY pony so angry... not since Thoroughbred.

"Rarity! Please!"

"GO AWAY! GO THE HELL AWAY!"

In a mixture of frustration and fear, Pinkie Pie sat back on her haunches and looked at the boutique door, holding herself. Josh knew she was trying to hide what was happening, but that shaking back and those choked whispers said it all...

Pinkie Pie was crying. She was crying like a waterfall had burst from her eyes. It broke Josh's heart to see two of the gentlest ponies he knew now reduced to tears and he wasn't gonna allow it one more second.

"Ok, THAT'S it!", he growled before stomping up to the boutique door and pounding on it so hard he thought his fist would break through the wood. "RARITY! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!"

"NEVER! I'M NEVER COMING OUT! GO AWAY, JOSH! I'M STAYING HERE FOREVER!"

"You've got until I count to three to open this door, or I'll BREAK it down!"

"...You wouldn't DARE!"

"You want to take a bet?", he growled before stepping backwards, "1... 2..."

At seeing no response come from Rarity and looking down at Pinkie Pie... it was all the resolve Josh needed to charge forward.

"3!"

As strong as the door was, it was no match for the 150-pound human ramming into it and the wooden swing door burst open, leading Josh into the Boutique interior. Looking around, the teen couldn't see Rarity anywhere, he could feel her presence. The droplets of Rainbow Dash's vomit and shower water on the ground led a trail into the sanctity of Rarity's luxurious bathroom and, sitting upon the toilet seat and cowering as if trying to shield herself, was the fashionestra unicorn. Her mane still had a lot of splotches of where the multi-colored liquid and half-digested chunks clung to her purple hair and her white coat still gave the appearance of her being a mix of a pony and a dalmatian. From the steam on the large mirror hanging above the marble sink, Josh could tell the unicorn had been in the shower and the telltale marks on her body where she'd scrubbed way too hard were more indications that something had broken inside Rarity.

"Rarity Allison Unicorn... what the heck is WRONG with you!", he yelled, banging his fist down on the sink, "Where do you get off screaming like that at poor Fluttershy?"

Hearing someone actually call her by her full name caught the unicorn off-guard, but she refused to look at the human staring at her. "SHE DIDN'T PROTECT ME! SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME!"

"Rarity, it happened too FAST for anyone to shield you! It was an honest accident!"

"MY COAT STILL SMELLS LIKE... LIKE... UGH!", she screamed, "WHY COULDN'T SHE HAVE JUST TURNED HER HEAD?"

"Rarity, enough! Yeah it was gross what happened, but you have NO right to act like such a... a CHILD!"

At this, Rarity actually turned towards the human, but with a face full not of kindness... but full of unbridled anger and disappearing sanity. "A CHILD? I JUST GOT PUKED ALL OVER BY A PEGASUS! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS!"

"We ALL get messy at some point! Hell, you saw what happened to ME!"

"You just got cut! I GOT PUKED ON EVERY INCH OF MY BODY! A CUT DOESN'T LEAVE YOU SMELLING LIKE THE BACK ALLEY OF-"

That was as far as Rarity got before Josh walked over and did something she never expected...

He slapped her. He reared his palm back and gave her a big slap on the cheek. The shock of such an action actually made the words the unicorn was screaming get caught in the middle of her throat and as she turned back to the teen, the look in his face genuinely frightened her. He looked almost inhuman, his teeth gnashing in rage and his fists clenched so tight it was miraculous that there wasn't blood pouring from them. The hand that had caught her face had small traces of the ugly mess of water and vomit, but none of that seemed to even faze him. It was almost as if a whole new human was standing before her and for the first time in a LONG time... Rarity felt like she had gone way too far in her drama.

"Josh...", she quivered, but the teen raised his palm and motioned for her silence.

"Rarity, don't you EVER compare getting puked on to what happened to me! All it takes to recover from being covered in someone's lunch is just a shower... Being SLICED takes FAR more than that! You have no RIGHT to ever compare something like being vomited upon to being left to fucking DIE!"

"Josh... I'm so-", Rarity tried to speak up, but Josh was far from done.

"Oh ho ho, now it's MY turn to talk... and WHERE'S your sister! Did you scream at her too?"

All Rarity could do in response was nod fearfully.

"Unbelievable... You get a LITTLE messy and you throw a temper tantrum? Pitiful... You've made Fluttershy cry, you made Pinkie Pie cry, you probably made Sweetie Belle cry... All because you get a LITTLE bit dirty! On top of all that... you have the GALL to compared what you went through to being left tied to a bunch of trees and having your flesh burned off! Rarity, are you NUTS!"

Rarity couldn't do anything but look at the human pegasus before her, tears welling up in her eyes. "But... I got so dirty! My beautiful coat... covered in rancid chunks and stomach juice! I took 5 showers and I STILL can't get rid of the smell!"

"That DOESN'T excuse you screaming like a Banshee at those poor ponies!"

"I... I just lost my head..."

"Lost your head... THE WHOLE TOWN HEARD YOU YELLING!"

"I.. I'm sorry..", Rarity whimpered

"Louder..."

"I'm sorry!", the unicorn repeated.

"LOUDER! I want Pinkie Pie to hear you!"

"I'M SORRY, OK?", Rarity wailed, covering her face in her hooves before Josh took her in his arms and sighed. He felt bad about slapping the unicorn, but he knew it had to be done to get her to come to her senses. He'd never actually done that before and it surprised even him! One minute he'd been standing there and the next his hand had made hard contact with the side of Rarity's face.

"That's better...", he sighed, patting her on the back and ignoring the mess coming off onto his clothes. He knew a quick wash would take care of getting it all clean and he remembered that Soapsuds Laundro-mat was open 24/7 right near the boutique. "I'm sorry I slapped you... but I had to get you to stop screaming like you were being attacked!"

"I just... I lost it...", Rarity whimpered again, "When my coat got so filthy... it all went red!"

Josh just shook his head in silence before he released the unicorn from his grasp and placed his hands on the tops of her forelegs.

"Look... I know it was a shock, but I think you need to go apologize to Pinkie Pie... right now.", Josh remarked calmly, but coldly.

Rarity merely nodded before she looked back up at the teen holding her shoulders. "What about you?"

"I'm gonna go look for Sweetie Belle, then try to comfort Fluttershy. You KNOW how sensitive she is! You ought to be ashamed...", the teen growled in disgust, "If she hurt herself from you screaming at her... being vomited on will be the LEAST of your troubles! ARE WE CLEAR?"

A loud gulp went down the unicorns neck, but she managed to give the teen a nod before the two of them finally left the bathroom. As they approached the broken down doorway, the two of them could see Pinkie Pie wiping her eyes and sniffling. Giving a curt nod to the unicorn, Josh walked past the two equine and took to the sky. He knew that Pinkie Pie would easily forgive the unicorn, not having it in her to carry a grudge. But from the way the yellow pegasus had been sobbing, calming her down would be an entirely different matter.

But first... he had to find a small blank-flanked unicorn... and he had the feeling he knew where she was...


	8. Sky High Confessions

Note: Before anyone asks... the song in this chapter is an original piece.

* * *

><p>As Josh swooped down on the edge of the Everfree forest, a shudder went down his spine. His mind was still fresh with the memory of what the EPA had put him through and he was not eager to go through the place where his life nearly ended again so soon.. but if what the Cutie Mark Crusaders had shown him just a few days prior was still where it was before... Then it was likely that would be where he could find Rarity's little sister.<p>

"C'mon... where is it...c'mon...", he repeated to himself as he flew across the treetops, keeping his eyes scouted around... and it was then he saw it... "A-ha!"

As he made his descent to the ground, he found himself looking at the big wooden playhouse that Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle had christened "The Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse". He had barely gotten onto the wet grass before a warm and serene voice reached his ears...

_Sleep my love until the day awakes.._

_To breathe life in you once again..._

_Caressing softly your gentle face.._

_Until the daylight ends..._

"That's Sweetie's voice!"

It took him all of ten seconds to climb up the rampways leading into the open entrance and, sure enough, he found himself looking at a shaking white and purple-pink bundle huddled in the corner near a window and allowing the moonlight to shine down upon them. The angelic voice he'd heard just moments before was coming from that bundle and immediately, Josh knew what he was looking at.

"Sweetie Belle?", he called out, "Sweetie, Josh's here. It's ok..."

Slowly, Sweetie Belle's song stopped and the unicorn raised her head slightly, not letting the teen see her face. "...Why'd she yell at me?"

"Sweetie... are you ok?"

Slowly the unicorn turned around towards the human and soon, Josh and Sweetie Belle found themselves looking at each other and the sight of the little unicorns face, crumpled in tears, made his heart burn. Before he knew it, the little unicorn had rushed over to him and buried her head in his jacket, letting more of the sobs she'd been letting out since her sister had roared at her come out as the teen just held her close and rubbed her mane.

"Sweetie, just take a deep breath... tell Josh what happened...", he cooed to the filly.

"I... I just offered to wipe her down...", Sweetie Belle choked out through her tears, "I offered to give her a Cutie Mark Crusader Bubble Bath, even offering my special bubblegum shampoo... But... but she just screamed at me... She told me to get out of her sight... That's when I came here... I didn't mean to make her mad at me..."

Josh just shook his head in dismay and gave the unicorn a kiss on the tip of her horn. "It's ok... I calmed her down... But she's going to be doing some apologizing and cleaning tonight... Do you want me to take you back home?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head, the tears still falling fresh down her cheeks. "I don't want her to yell at me again... I want mom and dad!"

"Diamond and Jewel... Where are they?", he asked calmly.

"They're heading to San Franciscolt to get supplies..."

"For the contest..", the two of them said in unison, causing the little filly to look up at him in surprise and sniffle.

"How'd... how'd you know, Mr. Josh?"

"I had a feeling... C'mon... I'll see if Pinkie Pie would mind you camping out there tonight... Would you like that?"

Letting a wavery, but fragile, smile creep on her face, the unicorn nodded and unsteadily got to her hooves as Josh headed for the open exit.

"Josh?", she called out to the human, causing him to turn around, "Thanks... for finding me..."

Josh just gave the lass a small grin and a wink. "It's what I do...". But as he turned around, he couldn't help but murmur to himself...

"I think Pinkie Pie could use a little company too... even after Rarity's apology..."

"What was that?", Sweetie Belle asked, wiping her eyes with her foreleg, seeing the teen muttering to himself.

"Nothing... it was nothing... C'mon... let's get back into town... I got one more stop for the night."

As they approached the threshold of the seperation between the clubhouse and the forest's darkness, there was one thing Josh had to know...

"Sweetie Belle... that song you were singing... what was that?"

The unicorn sniffled before she spoke up. "It was part of a lullaby my mom sings to me. It helps me when I can't sleep."

Josh couldn't help but smile at the innocence of the filly by his side. "Well it sounded beautiful... You ever thought about trying a career in singing? You could make a lot of money!"

Sweetie Belle couldn't help but let out a small giggle at the human's suggestion. "Nah, I'm more concerned with eating my cutie mark."

A snicker escaped from the teens lips at the Freudian slip from the unicorn. "You mean earning, right?"

Sweetie Belle then realized what she had said and a cathartic laugh rang out from the both of them. "I guess I'm thinking about this contest more than I thought I was. But yeah, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and I... we have one goal... to find our special talents and earn our cutie marks! Hey, maybe you could help us sometime?"

"Heh... maybe I can, Sweetie... maybe I can... But for now... let's get back into town.."

"You got it, Mr. Josh!"

With that, the two of them left the ramshackle clubhouse and made their way back into the arms of Ponyville's loving embrace. But as they left into the darkness of the Everfree forest, Josh couldn't help but wonder one thing...

Would soothing Fluttershy be as easy?

* * *

><p>It took all of a half hour for the two to get back to Ponyville and even less time for Josh to take Sweetie Belle to Sugarcube corner. Getting the Cakes to allow Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle to have a sleepover was almost insultingly easy, the party pony back to her normal bubbly self. He knew that Pinkie Pie wasn't the kind of pony to stay sad for long... although he could see that her blue eyes still had the telltale puffiness still around them symbolizing the tears that she had shed. But Pinkie Pie had reassured him that Rarity had indeed apologized to her and now was in her boutique getting as much as she could of Rainbow Dash's meal off of her, much to her amusement. Yet even though Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle were busy making s'mores and telling ghost stories, Josh had one more thing he had to do before he could go up to the cloud castle he and Meowth now called home.<p>

As he flew amidst the night air, he found himself looking for the cottage belonging to the timid counterpart to Rainbow Dash's boisterousness and adventurous streak. All the while he couldn't help but mutter to himself in disgust.

"Why did I tell her to tell Rarity Dash was sorry... why didn't I go with her to the door... why don't I know where the bleeding hell her cottage is? The one house I DIDN'T go to and I have no idea wh-"

**"KLONK!"**

That was as far as Josh got before he found Fluttershy's cottage... or rather his head found the branch outside her bedroom window and knocked him out. As he fell, stunned, his jacket managed to snag onto the branch and leave him hanging outside Fluttershy's window. It was lucky that the sound of his head cracking against the heavy piece of bark was loud enough to ring inside the cottage and the last thing he saw before his vision went dark was the window in front of him opening... He didn't see the pegasus inside gasping and flying out to free him...

* * *

><p>"Josh... are you ok?"<p>

As his vision cleared up, the teen found himself looking around a room decorated with birdhouses, knick-knacks, and even a classic cuckoo-clock... although right now his head felt like there were cuckoo birds flying around in his skull. Feeling around him, he could tell he was resting on what appeared to be a big fluffy couch and as he slowly sat up, he shook his head to clear his senses.

"Urg... ugh, what happened?", he groaned, rubbing his head and feeling the telltale bruise where his skull had made contact with the branch.

"You... you flew into my cottage..."

Slowly letting his eyes focus, Josh found himself looking at the tear-stained face of his pegasus friend, Fluttershy. Her cheeks were still dampened from the salty liquids she'd been shedding since she'd gotten home and away from Rarity's rage. Her face was crumpled as if it was all she could do to keep her composure and it made Josh's heart feel as wounded as his head.

"You've been crying over Rarity haven't you...", Josh whispered to the pegasus.

Fluttershy didn't answer at first, but her squeaky cries spoke for her. "I... I was just trying to help her... I was just doing what Rainbow Dash asked..."

Josh sighed before he scooted over and motioned for Fluttershy to join him, an action that was followed rather quickly. As soon as she'd gotten her tush seated on the green cushions, she found the words coming out a little better, even through the sobs in her voice were still very apparent.

"When she yelled at me... I had to get out of there... I... I don't like being yelled at... I just want to make everyone happy..."

"Just like me...", the teen whispered as he placed his hand on her rose-colored mane,

Looking up in bewilderment, Fluttershy found herself looking at the smiling face of the human, rubbing his hand through her mane and the pegasus couldn't help but smile herself through her tears.

"Fluttershy, we all want that. We all want to be able to make the world happy and none of us like being screamed at. Don't worry, I chewed Rarity out for that."

"Chewed her out?", Fluttershy asked in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"I broke down her door and slapped her after she made you AND Pinkie Pie cry. Being barfed on does not an excuse for screaming like a spoiled child make. I didn't like slapping her... I'm not a violent person..."

Looking into his eyes, the pegasus could see there were still ebbs of regret in his hazel irises. "Then why'd you do it?"

A sigh escaped the teen as he shook his head sadly. "She wouldn't stop screaming... and she compared what happened to her to what happened to me... and I just lost it. I'm trying so hard to forget being fried and to have it compared to something so petty... I just couldn't take it..."

"It's ok...", Fluttershy sniffled as she rubbed her hoof on his shoulder, ignoring the stains of vomit on his jacket, "It was wrong of her to do something like it... she may be my friend, but she doesn't always think when it comes to reacting over things that happen. You should have seen her when she stepped in a mud puddle... she screamed like she was on fire!"

At this, the two of them couldn't help but share a big laugh. Laughing had never felt so good to the timid equine and as she wiped her green eyes, she couldn't resist smiling.

"Thanks, Josh... I needed a good laugh."

"It's nothin'.", he remarked, ruffling Fluttershy's mane as he cricked his neck and gazed at the doorway. It was then a thought hit him, one that he felt maybe the both of them could benefit from. "Say, Fluttershy... I was gonna go for a nighttime flight before I head back to Cloudsdale for some rest... Ya wanna tag along?"

Fluttershy just looked at the ground shyly, pawing at the wooden floor. "Um... Josh... I don't really fly at night that often... I'm... more of a day flyer..."

"You sure? I thought maybe we could have a calm flight, maybe lay back on some clouds... look at the stars?"

"Well... that does sound lovely...", Fluttershy admitted before taking a deep breath and nodding, "Ok... I'll come along... JUST for a little bit."

"Cool!", Josh smiled and grimaced as he got to his feet, feeling the tenderness in his legs. Limping to the threshold, he opened the doorway, letting in the cool nighttime air, and took to the air, letting his wings hold him up as Fluttershy did the same. With a silent nod, Josh shot up out of the doorway and took to the night sky, hearing the fluttering of the fellow pegasi's wings behind him as well as the nervous squeaks. Turning back, he could see Fluttershy was visibly shaking from flying at night and with a gentle smile, he held out his hand for her.

"C'mon... take my hand..."

Trembling, Fluttershy put her hoof in her friends palm and let him lead her up past Cloudsdale, all the way to where the flight academy stood near the edges of Canterlot. Dash had shown him the spectacular sight only days after he'd gotten his wings, her eagerness to go flying with her new roommate surprising the teen immensely. Looking upon the magnificent sight, the two fliers felt their cares seemingly drift away in the wind.

"It's... beautiful...", Fluttershy marveled, floating besides the teen, "Rainbow Dash showed you this?"

"Eeyup.", Josh replied in his best imitation of Big MacIntosh, getting a laugh out of Fluttershy, "She showed me everything there was to being in the air the day after Meowth's party. It's like the sky is her real home... If it weren't for you and her friends... she'd probably never set foot on the ground!"

Again, Fluttershy couldn't help but giggle. "Probably not... But I can tell you're saying it in joking, right?"

"Yeah..", Josh admitted, "Rainbow Dash is... well... she's amazing..."

A small grin crept up on Fluttershy's face as she gave the teen a soft look. "You really love her, don't you?"

Josh took a deep breath before letting out his answer as he stared into Fluttershy's knowing gaze. "Fluttershy... Rainbow Dash is the first real love I've ever had... back in my world, I didn't really have anything besides my family... People always thought I was weird because of my love of the unusual like fairies, aliens, and unicorns... of course now I know unicorns are real indeed, heh heh. But Dash... she... she makes me feel like I'm special. Like I've got not just a family again... but someone in my life to make me complete. My little Dashie... if she was a baby, I would cuddle and raise her for years upon years until I ceased to breathe..."

Fluttershy didn't say anything. She just listened intently to Josh spilling his heart out to her, her ears taking in every word.

"She makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore... I've got Meowth, sure... but even he's because of Dash. If she hadn't kissed me back at that fire... helped me stay awake... I may have very well died..."

At this, Fluttershy knew Josh had a valid point. From what the doctors in the hospital had told her, if Josh had fallen back asleep, he could have slipped into a coma from the blows to his head. It was with Rainbow Dash's kiss that his mind was able to barely keep the teen awake.

"I owe Rainbow Dash... hell I owe you ALL my life. But Dashie... I owe her more than that... it's thanks to her I can see again... that I can breathe again... that I can smile again..."

It was then the sound of sniffling broke his speech and as he turned around, he could see Fluttershy wiping her eyes, tears running down her cheeks.

"Fluttershy, are you ok?"

"Josh... that's beautiful... You really do love her...", Fluttershy wept.

"More than anyone can know... that's why I'm helping her with this contest so much... I will not let anyone ridicule my Dashie... OR my friends... I will not let Champagne take our home..."

"... Go to her..."

Hearing Fluttershy's whisper, Josh turned in puzzlement to the pegasus. "Pardon?"

"Go to her, Josh... help her train... I know she's gotta be scared."

"Ok, seriously Fluttershy... You're starting to sound a LITTLE bit cheesy."

"I'm serious!", Fluttershy insisted in as loud a voice as she could muster... which was equivalent to nothing more than a dull roar, "Think about it... she's going to be pushing herself through a nightmare for this contest... both her AND Applejack... She needs you by her side..."

"Fluttershy, I don't need to be by her side 24/7... I love her, but I'm not a f- ah- I mean I'm not some overprotective coltfriend! I'm just a lover!"

"Josh, listen... If there's one thing I know about... it's love. She CAN'T do this alone... especially with all the nausea, exhaustion, and vomiting she'll be enduring..."

At this, Josh actually sputtered a bit. "Wha? She just got sick from one day of massive eating! What makes you think it'll happen again?"

"Because I KNOW Rainbow Dash. She'll push herself to the breaking point every time. When she was practicing the Sonic Rainboom, she crashed over a thousand times!"

"The Sonic Rainboom?", Josh asked, puzzled, "You mean the same thing mentioned in that news article in Dash's scrapbook?"

"The same... but how'd you know she had a scrapbook?"

At this, Josh merely whistled. "I just... found it lying around, is all. You know maybe I SHOULD go check on her!"

As glad as she was, the way Josh abruptly changed the subject made her feel like Josh wasn't exactly being truthful. "Josh... is there something you're not telling me?"

The teen sighed before he gave Fluttershy his answer. "It's better you just stick with my answer... Trust me on this..."

"Is... is it to do with that nightmare of Dash's?"

This caught Josh off-guard. He didn't think anyone but him, Dash, and Meowth knew about that. "How'd..."

"One of my hummingbirds was out for a night-flight and he overheard everything.", the pegasus replied, "Don't worry... I won't tell..."

Josh found himself sighing again before he spoke. "I couldn't sleep that well after I calmed her down, so I did some reading..."

As he spoke, he found himself remembering when he climbed off the bed and crept down into Rainbow Dash's living room to try taking his mind off what Dash had confessed. Even if he didn't know the full details, it'd scared him to know dreams like that existed in a place like Ponyville. He'd stumbled across that big blue book of hers and found himself reading it and learning about some of her past achievements, including the Sonic Rainboom.

"I learned a lot about her from that book... You know... I think I gotta get going... I got a blue pegasus to check up on. Can you go to Dash's home and tell Meowth where I am?"

Fluttershy swallowed nervously, remembering what happened the last time she'd followed a request like that. "He's not gonna yell at me, is he?"

Josh merely smiled and shook his head. "Nah, if anything he'll probably be asleep. If he is, just leave him a note. I gotta go..."

With that, Josh turned and got ready to descend back to the ground. But before he did, he turned back to Fluttershy and called out to her.

"And Fluttershy..."

"Yeah?", she asked nervously.

"..Thanks. You know there are things Twilight could learn from you... See ya later!"

As Josh flew back down towards Ponyville, he didn't notice Fluttershy blushing deeply as she watched the human slowly disappear from sight. There was one other note she knew she'd be writing when she got to Dash's home...

* * *

><p><em>Dear Princess Celestia,<em>

_I know this is a surprising time to get a friendship report, but I think I learned something. You can find romance in the most surprising of places... and animals! Don't ever think love doesn't exist... You'll find it's everywhere around you.._

_Signed,_

_Fluttershy_

As the yellow pegasus finished writing her second note, the first to the cat-pokemon resting on the counter of Dash's kitchen, she knew Celestia would be happy to know her plan was working already...

Even if it took a while for the first lesson to fully manifest itself.

"I'll give it to Spike in the morning...", she thought to herself, clutching the note in her mouth and heading out the front door on her way to soar down through the night sky back home.

And for once... she didn't feel scared one bit.


	9. Nightmare Fuel

All she could see was darkness... in front of her magenta eyes, below her cyan legs, even behind her rainbow tail... all Rainbow Dash could see was darkness.

Yet the pegasus wasn't falling, nor was she using her wings to keep her aloft. It was as if she was treading on an invisible platform. Yet all around it felt like the universe itself had its light turned off.

"Where.. where the hay am I?", she wondered to herself as she walked through the void, looking for any sign or any indication of where she was before calling out to the emptiness, "Hellooo? Anyone home?"

Getting no response, she continued her trek. It took only a few more steps before she finally saw something besides the darkness; a thick red mist hovering in the air and descending upon the equine like a calm summer rain. Yet, as the droplets of the mist fell around her, she didn't feel anything upon her coat or her mane... not even her tail was even remotely dampened by the watery shower. Looking around, she could see the drops of red water slowly expanding and growing.

"O..kay... this is getting weird...", Dash muttered as she watched the drops grow and take the forms of ponies, surrounding her like a crowd, "Red mist forming into ponies... this is approaching the boundaries of creepy town... Pinkie Pie? Is this some sort of gag?"

_"Rainbow Dash..."_

Hearing that wavery ghostly voice calling out to her, Rainbow Dash could see the misty ponies were all fully formed and, from the shaking of the front one's gray-colored mane, she knew that the voice was coming from it even though their head was facing the ground and leaving only the slight vibrations from the sides of their neck as an indication that they were the one with the ghostly voice.

"H-hello?", she quivered, her voice starting to come off as Fluttershys. She wasn't one for being scared, but this was borderline fucked up, "Are you ok?"

But as the pony raised its head, what Rainbow Dash saw made her fall backwards in shock. Where there should have been a face was only a giant burger, pools of blood where its eyes and mouth should have been.

"What the hell?", she screamed in terror as the burgerpony approached her.

_"Eat me... Eat me... My juices are begging for you to consume me..."_

"What? Are you crazy?", Dash yelled, turning her head and trying to shield her eyes from the sight of the crimson fluid streaming down its "face". She didn't even know how it was speaking with blood streaming from where its mouth would have been.

_"Eat me... make my body one with yours... eat me..."_

As she tried frantically to back away from the thing trying to approach her, she found herself bumping against another pony... only when she looked up, she found herself looking at a giant pizza... streams of red pouring from where it would have been sliced and she had a sickening feeling it wasn't tomato sauce she was seeing stream down.

_"I'm sliced... and ready for you to suck me into your abyss... c'mon Dash... you know you want me..."_

"N..no! No!", she gasped, getting to her hooves and trying to escape. But no matter what direction the pegasus turned, she found herself surrounded by more of these creatures, all with bloody edibles where heads should have been. Whether it was a mug of dark blood or a buttered roll oozing pus where its buttery goodness should have been, all the heads were culinary monstrosities, all of them approached the terrified pegasus. It was then a thought clicked through her head.

"Duh! I've got wings!", she thought to herself before taking a leap into the air for her wings to take action, "See ya later, freaks!"

But instead of flying into the air, Rainbow Dash found herself crashing back to the invisible ground. Her precious wings, the tools that made her famous, were not working!

"What the?", she gasped, feeling her sides with her forehooves and realizing her wings were frozen to her midsection, refusing to budge even a centimeter. Try as she might, her appendages refused to move.

"C'mon... C'MON!", she pleaded, trying desperately to get her wings to free themselves and take her to the sky. It was then a cold husky voice rang out, one that she knew all too well.

_"Oh ho ho ho! You thought you could be the great champion... the one who could beat ME? Ponyville will fall... and it will be all your fault... you AND that ratty cowpony!"_

Hearing Champagne's voice, Rainbow Dash looked up and found herself staring into the sneering disembodied head of the unicorn that she and Applejack were training to go against... and right now his very presence was making her sick to her stomach.

"What the hell is going on?", she gasped in terror.

_"You pathetic foal... you think you can beat me? When I destroy you and your friend... I'll not only take all the food in your insipid little city... but I'll make sure nothing ever grows there again!"_

"You can't do that!", the pegasus yelled in fear, only to be met with a loud cackling laugh.

_"Oh, pathetic Rainbow Dash... I can do whatever I please... But I'm not without remorse... I'll let you have one last meal... my minions, feed yourselves to her!"_

"No...!" Rainbow Dash screamed as she tried to run away from Champagne and all the monsters around her, but she'd barely gotten a step away before a tug on her wings left her running futily on air as two of the bleeding creations took a hold of her, keeping her from escaping.

_"Yes, my fool... Eat.. EAT... EAT!"_

Before Rainbow Dash could do anything, she found her mouth being pried open by an invisible force and leaving her to watch as the first monster, that burgerpony, shoved itself into her gaping maw, pushing itself down her throat. The pegasus retched, trying to prevent it from going into her stomach, but only found herself heaving up air as the creature finally moved its way down into her belly, leaving it to swell as another culinary nightmare forced its way into her gullet.

"Blurg... Stop... PLEASE!", Dash gagged through the mouthfuls of hell that were being shoved into her. A hollow demonic laugh was all the answer she got.

_"Eat... EAT... Greedy arrogant ruffians say they want to eat... well EAT!"_

As more and more of the creatures pushed themselves down her throat, she found her belly growing larger and larger, literally beginning to tear at its seams.

"Stop... PLEASE!", she begged tearfully, pressing her forehooves together in mercy, "PLEASE LET ME GO!"

**"Ho... ho.. ho hoh hoh hoh ha ha ha ha ha ha!"**

With one more push into her stomach, Rainbow Dash watched as her belly tore open... her vision fading as she watched all the monsters climbing back out... With her last breaths, she called for someone to rescue her

"No... help me! Josh... Twilight... Soarin... Someone... help... me..."

* * *

><p>With a silent scream, Rainbow Dash shot up in the bed she and Applejack were sharing. The nightmare she'd had was running through her mind like a perverse slideshow as sweat poured down her head. She felt sick to her stomach and looking down, she could see her stomach gurgling and rumbling.<p>

"Ulp... Uh oh...", she whimpered as she covered her mouth and looked over the side of the bed for the bucket to deposit her stomach in, only finding a bare floor, "Oh come... Urp... on!", she thought to herself.

She could feel the vomit starting to come up her throat and as she looked at the ground, she wondered how mad Applejack would get if she threw up on the bedroom floor. She lowered her head and looked underneath the bed for Applejack's bucket, only finding an empty space where Fluttershy had put the two receptacles.

"Caramel...", she realized, "He musta... _Urk_... taken them... that... _Ulp._.. idiot..."

She could feel her cheeks beginning to fill up and knew she wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom. With a whimper, she braced herself on the bed and got ready to shower the ground with her stomach.

"Forgive.. _Urk_... me, Applejack...", she whimpered through her hoof as she got ready to open her mouth to release. But a calm voice entered her ears.

"Dashie... sweetie hold on..."

Trembling, the pegasus looked up and found herself staring into the calm face of her human lover.

"J-Josh?", she gagged, "H-how'd you-"

"Granny Smith gave me a spare key. C'mon, I can take you to the bathroom...", he whispered, rubbing her back gently, "Can you hold it until then? Please? I don't think Granny Smith wants to clean up another mess..."

As sick as she felt, Rainbow Dash knew Granny Smith was still upset over having to clean up her dinner from the hallway and she gave the teen a weak nod as he gently picked the pegasus up and held her like a baby as he carried her to the bathroom, cooing to her all the while.

"Just hold it in, Dash.. we're almost there...", he whispered as he looked at the pegasus covering her mouth to hold in her quaking cheeks. She didn't want to decorate Josh's face with her lunch, but she desperately wanted to relieve the sickness in her stomach.

"Please... _blurk_... hurry...", she quivered, the tears in her eyes leading the human to nuzzle his head against her mane, trying to soothe her.

It didn't take the teen long to get her into the bathroom and, using the tip of his wing to flick on the light, he gently set her down and got the toilet seats up for her to do her business in, much to the pegasus' happiness.

"Go ahead, Rainbow Dash... just lean in and let it out."

It was hard for the pegasus to move without wanting to spill all over the bathroom floor, but slowly she managed to stumble and stagger her way to the waiting porcelain goddess and finally she was able to place her hooves on the sides and lean in, looking at the pool of water below waiting to receive her lunch. But she didn't know if she could throw up in front of the teen and she gave him a look, as if asking permission to barf.

"It's ok...", Josh nodded, kneeling down and placing his hand on her back, "Go ahead... you've gotta let it out."

Gratefully, Rainbow Dash looked into the water and..

"**Bleaurghh**!"

She opened her mouth and began vomiting more of what she'd eaten earlier, feeling as Josh held her mane and rubbed her back to comfort her as she got sick in the toilet. Her stomach felt awful as the nightmare continued to ring in her head, an oatmeal-looking mess erupting from her mouth. She didn't even remember eating oatmeal that day, even at that training session, and the smell made her feel even worse.

"It's ok, sweetie.. it's gotta come out.. just let nature do its business..", Josh cooed to the nauseated pegasus as she retched into the bowl.

It took her nearly a minute for the vomiting to slow down into a few dry heaves and as she laid her head down on the side of the bowl, she felt tears come to her eyes. A mixture of relief and fear rushed through her body and before she knew it, she was crying.

"Dash, it's alright... we can stop the training... I know how it's making you feel...", Josh whispered to her, only to get a soft shake as his answer as Rainbow Dash weakly turned to where she was facing him and let out an ugly belch.

"No... no I can't...", she quivered.

"Dash, you've got to pull out of this... it's nothing to be ashamed of..."

"Josh... if I do... Champagne will take out Applejack... and all of Ponyville..."

At this, Josh raised an eyebrow in alarm as he watched the pegasus struggle to flush down what she had just deposited in the bowl, barely managing to push down on the wooden handle to let the chunks go down the drain. "What do you mean?"

Rainbow Dash panted and wiped her mouth off on her hoof before she spoke, her tears still streaming down her face. "I... I had this dream..."

Josh sighed before he ran his hand through her messy mane. "Dashie, it's ok. Like Meowth and I said before, there's dreams so vivid that one can imagine themselves-"

But the pegasus cut him off. "It wasn't just that... there was more to it..."

"More? What do you mean?"

At this, Rainbow Dash shuddered as she rubbed her head and sat against the bowl, shutting her eyes before looking at her lover.

"Before... _hic_... before AJ and I went to sleep... we put on the TV... they had a report about Champagne... Those reports that Twilight gave... they're all true!"

"True? You mean about him actually cleaning out the markets of the towns he beats?"

Dash gave a sick nod before rubbing her eyes to try and wipe away her tears. "The dream I had... he was saying he'll destroy Ponyville... and he was... FORCING these... ugh..."

Just the thought of those "creations" being forced down her throat made the pegasus retch, having to cover her mouth until she could swallow and talk again.

"These THINGS... into me! Saying I was a greedy ruffian... that we deserved to be put in our place... that I was just a pathetic foal..."

The pegasus couldn't control herself and before she knew it, she had burst into tears again. Within an instant, Josh had taken her into his arms and held the crying equine close, cooing to her.

"Shhh... shh.. it's ok."

Rainbow Dash just held onto him as tight as she could, her tears never ending. She almost was wishing she could go back to the nightmare of her in that other world... at least that one didn't leave her stomach on the outside of her body.

"Just end this, Dash... it's ok..."

But she wouldn't have any of it. "I can't! I've got to keep pushing myself... no matter HOW much I blow chunks! I gotta keep pushing my stomach to its limits!"

"Dash, are you nuts? You've been having nightmares from all this food, you're vomiting... Applejack and I can do-"

"Josh, I can't abandon her... I can't abandon Ponyville... I gotta keep training... no matter HOW much it hurts..."

As much as he hated to admit it, Josh could see where the pegasus was coming from. Her determination and loyalty was one of her most precious traits. She was willing to put her own body at risk to protect her friends and he knew Applejack would do the same. It's what made them the Elements of Loyalty and Honesty.

"If you're sure... is there anything I can do to help you during training? I mean besides what we talked about earlier this morning?"

At this, Rainbow Dash gave the teen a quivering smile. Josh had agreed to take over Dash's shifts in the weather patrol while she was in training for the contest. For some odd reason, Hammerhead had only been too happy to have the teen take over for the cyan-colored pegasus.

"There... is one thing...", she whispered shakily.

"Tell me, Dashie."

"Whenever I have to barf... please... comfort me while it comes out... it really hurts... But I gotta overeat and stretch my stomach out... I wanna help them... I wanna help Ponyville... Please... don't leave my side... "

Finding her voice getting choked up, knowing what she would be going through to help her town and remembering the nightmare all over again, Rainbow Dash buried her head into Josh's jacket and let the teen just stroke her mane gently as the mare wept. He'd never seen her so scared and he had the feeling this wasn't a common occurance for her, something that would be more suited to their timid friend. But at least she wasn't alone...

"Don't worry Dashie... In sickness and in health... I'll never abandon you... My sweet, sweet Dashie.", he whispered to the crying pegasus.

Even when she let her tears bring her to sleep, Josh never left Rainbow Dashs side, staying with her in the bathroom the entire night until the sun rose outside the farmhouse, stroking her mane the whole time...


	10. An Interlude of Dirt and Chickens

As the sun began to rise on Cloudsdale, Meowth was busy sleeping peacefully in Josh and Rainbow Dash's bed. After realizing neither of them would be coming home that night, the cat-pokemon had snuck into the warm of the big plush bed and was busy snoozing.

"Mmmm... yes... a nice thing of salmon and sweets... it does sound yummy...", he murmured to himself, rubbing his pudgy belly.

**"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WONDERBOLTS ON THE WAY! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WONDERBOLTS ON THE WAY!"**

The sound of the loud Wonderbolts studded alarm clock startled the cat enough to where he LEAPT out of the bed and crashed into the ceiling, leaving a body imprint before peeling off and crashing down to the ground.

"Ugh...", he groaned as he rubbed his charm, trying to subdue the headache he now had, "Why did I set dat tin' fo' 5:30 A.M.?"

Rubbing his eyes wearily, he smacked his lips and scratched his side before walking out of the bedroom and heading down into the kitchen to make himself some cocoa to wake him up.

"Maybe some hot cocoa will help me rememba' why I set da freakin' alarm so early!"

Climbing onto the countertop and fetching a tin of cocoa mix from Dash's cupboard, Meowth got to work making himself a cup of the sweet drink. It wasn't exactly hard to make, all the cat-pokemon had to do was take a jug of milk, pour some into a cup, and put it into the microwave to heat up for a bit before he added the dutch chocolate powder. As he let the microwave do its business, fully having grown to accept Ponyville to be so technologically up to date that appliances were the norm, Meowth leaned against the kitchen table, tapping his orange and cream-yellow footpaw against the floor as he waited for his drink to heat up.

"C'mon, c'mon... dis cat's gettin' thirs-", he groused before his attention was brought to a sheet of paper resting right below where he'd gotten the cocoa mix on the counter, "What the... how did I miss dat? I guess I musta been more tired den I thought."

Curiously, as to be expected coming from a cat-pokemon, Meowth climbed back onto the countertop and, fetching the sheet, sat down on the tile and read it, his tail resting against the wooden pantry door.

"Huh.. from da writin' it looks like Fluttershy did this...", he thought to himself as he read on, imagining Fluttershy's voice narrating the letter to him.

_Dear Meowth,_

_Don't worry, Josh is checking up on Rainbow Dash. I'm not sure if he'll be coming home tonight, but if not I just wanted to let you know. I'm looking forward to tomorrow with you agreeing to help Angel and I not only make more foods for today's training, but also help me with feeding some of my chickens. It was really sweet of you to offer to come so early, I guess some of Josh's charm rubbed off on yours, tee hee._

_Love, Fluttershy_

P.S. In case you can't find my cottage, look on the back of this note to find out how to get there.

As he finished reading the letter, his pupils shrunk down to the size of pinheads as he remembered exactly WHY he'd set the alarm so early.

"FUCK! I was going to help Fluttershy!", he cursed loudly as he leapt off the counter and dashed out of the kitchen, tucking the note tightly behind his golden charm, "Da cocoa's gonna have to wait! Dis cat-pokemon has a job ta do!"

As much as Meowth enjoyed sleeping in and eating, he wasn't one to back out of a promise... especially after Pinkie Pie had instilled into him that breaking a promise was the easiest way to lose a friend's trust FOREVER. He was STILL trying to figure out how that party pony fit herself in Sugarcube Corner's big toaster oven. But right now, he was more concerned with getting to Fluttershy's cottage to help her out. As he set foot onto the clouds surrounding Rainbow Dash's castle, he gazed at the sun across the way starting its slow ascent into the air and painting the sky a bright orange. It was a beautiful sight, one that took the cat-pokemon's breath away.

"Beautiful... ab-so-lute-ly beautiful.", he sighed as he took a few steps back, getting ready to make his leap off the clouds, "I am but a droplet of water in da sky... time for me..."

With that, he charged forward and made a swan dive off the clouds into the deep blue.

"TO FALL!"

But instead of falling to a gruesome death, the cat-pokemon's dive slowed down until the point where he actually did a semi u-turn in midair, leaving him floating in the sky as if he was a bubble in a glass of soda.

"Heh... dis neva' gets old!", he grinned as he picked up the sheet from behind his gold charm and read it to get the directions to Fluttershy's house. It was a rather complicated method that was keeping the cat-pokemon afloat, Twilight having openly said it would be close to impossible to figure out how, short of Luna and Celestia's advanced magic, it was possible for Meowth to hover and soar through the skyline like a feather. Celestia had jokingly deemed it "starflight", but somehow the name had stuck and Meowth had grown to enjoy it.

"Hm... left at SugarCube Corner, 2 feet south from Dr. Whooves office..", Meowth muttered to himself as he memorized the directions before rolling the sheet back up and sticking it back behind the gold coin that adorned his head before rearing back to get ready to fly.

"Sky... be my guide and show me da way!"

With that, the cat-pokemon took off through the orange, on his way to help out a shy yellow pegasus...

* * *

><p>"It's so wonderful that you can help me, Meowth!"<p>

As Fluttershy looked at the chubby cat-pokemon standing at the doorway to her cottage, a bashful smile on his normally confident face, she couldn't help but marvel at how eager he looked to help her out. She remembered he'd had fun helping her days before with cooking for Dash and AJ's training, but didn't expect him to be so willing to help her around her house.

"Nah, it's nuttin'.", Meowth boasted, "Anytin' ta help a friend. So whacha need me ta do?"

"Well...", Fluttershy thought to herself before she gave the cat-pokemon an answer, "Like I said before, I could use some help with feeding Elizabeak, Peckingham, and all the other chickens. When you get done with that, if you can help me with cooking up a bit more for today's training session, that would be wonderful."

"No problem!", Meowth replied before a puzzled look appeared on his face, "But ya really t'ink there'll be more massive eating today? We both heard... and you SAW... how violently sick Applejack and Rainbow Dash got!"

Fluttershy looked down at the memory. "Yeah, that wasn't exactly pleasant. At least Josh and I were able to comfort them..."

"Yeah...", Meowth agreed, "So dese chickens, where are dey?"

The pegasus giggled as she turned away from the pokemon, "Follow me, sweetie."

Meowth couldn't help but blush as he let the pegasus lead him through her house and into the kitchen, opening up a pantry and revealing a big bag of chicken feed. He knew that, despite a lot of cats being natural bird-hunters, that Fluttershy was comfortable with him helping her with taking care of her own fine-feathered friends. As much as Meowth enjoyed a good meal, he'd told the mane 6 that he'd rather use a phone than his claws when it came to getting food and that he actually found the idea of bird-hunting unsettling. It wasn't to say it didn't love foods like fried chicken, but it was more in the sense of what Applejack had said back at the meeting. While meat WAS a part of a lot of the ponies diets, they always had it imported from places like Neigh York City and Buffalo as so they could take solace in knowing they weren't eating their own raised companions. They knew Meowth, Spike, and Opal in particular were partial to fried birds, so they always got a special delivery just for them. Fluttershy's only request had been that Meowth not eat any boned meat around her, since if it was just meat it'd be easier for her to imagine it as a different edible being consumed. It was a request Meowth had only been too happy to agree to.

"Whoa!", Meowth whistled as he looked at the big white bag of Mr. Seeder's Chicken Feed resting in Fluttershy's cabinet, "Ya got a whole cabinet just fer yer animals?"

"Why yes, of course!", Fluttershy chirped as if it was the most natural thing in the word, "I always make sure to have enough food for not just me, but for my beloved friends. Do you think you can manage that big bag?"

Meowth calmly cricked his paws and his neck before he walked over to the giant bag and picked it up, slinging it over his shoulder. It was, needless to say, a very amusing sight. The bag must have weighed at least 20 pounds and the cat-pokemon, only weighing a little bit more than that, was barely managing NOT to have it tip him over. But through some sort of miracle and leverage, Meowth was able to hoist the bag up and let Fluttershy lead him out into the backyard where her chicken coop, full of clucking, egg-laying hens, chickens, and roosters was sat.

"Here my pretties! Elizabeak, Peckingham, everyone!", the pegasus called out, "Come on, everyone! It's feeding time!"

Almost instantly, a bevy of feathered creatures poured out of the coop, clucking and cackling like nobody's business. The sheer amount of them coming out amazed Meowth to no end.

"Dey must be packed like sardines in dere!", he remarked to Fluttershy wide-eyed and setting the bag down.

Fluttershy just giggled and patted Meowth gently on the head. "No, silly. It's just roomy in there. Chickens are actually really small in size compared to a coop's width. Twilight and Applejack taught me that."

Meowth whistled and, unseathing a claw, sliced open the big bag of feed. "So all I gotta do is just dump out da feed and let da chicks nomnom?"

This brought another giggle to the pegasus' lips. "Nomnom? I think you've been listening to Pinkie Pie a bit much, heh heh."

Meowth just blushed and twirled a paw in the dirt. "Well when ya go ta Sugarcube Corner as much as I do, ya pick up a few woids."

This, Fluttershy had to admit and she nodded to him. "Yes, but you also have to make sure they don't eat too much... Angel should be coming out any second to help supervi- oh there he is now!"

Seeing Fluttershy looking over his shoulder, Meowth turned and saw her pet bunny grumbling and walking towards them. The fact that the sardonic bunny rarely hopped was a bit that puzzled Meowth in so many ways.

"I'll leave you two to it then! I'm gonna go inside and get the ingredients ready for us to make Rainbow Dash and Applejack something good for today's training... Probably something light...", Fluttershy smiled before giving both Meowth and Angel a hug and heading into the cottage to get together the materials needed to prepare the foods for that days training session, leaving the cat-pokemon and bunny out with the chickens. Similar to the creatures coming out of the coop, Angel didn't feel too threatened by the cat, Fluttershy assuring him he wasn't gonna eat him. But this chore still annoyed him and he couldn't see why Meowth was so eager to help out.

"Well..", Meowth said, rolling up a set of invisible sleeves and taking the huge bag in his paws, "Here we go!"

Without wasting a second Meowth tipped the bag of feed over, allowing all the dry goods inside to pour out into the dirt. Whistling to the chickens, he motioned for them to come over to where all the yummy feed was.

"Here chickens, here!", Meowth called, whistling to the fowl. Angel just looked nonplussed at the cats efforts. He and Fluttershy knew that he wouldn't try eating the chickens... BUT THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT! To them, it was just another feline trying to get at their sweetmeats!

"Come on, chickadees! Meowth's got some nice feed for ya!", he called out. But the chickens didn't even make a move to get closer. This led Angel to give him a small sneer, frustrating the cat-pokemon.

"Aw c'mon.. dis is perfectly good feed! Meowthie ain't gonna hurt ya!", Meowth insisted, but the chickens just kept their distance from him.

With a groan, Meowth took a pawful off the chicken feed and held it out. "Look! It's yummy! See?". Reluctantly, he popped the pawful in and swallowed with a smile and rubbed his tummy as if to show it was perfectly safe... and the next thing he knew, he was on all fours wheezing and gasping for air. What he didn't count on was the feed being as dry as a desertland!

"W...watta... watta'... WATTA'... Angel... I NEED WATTA'!", he gasped, turning to the bunny in a panic. With a sigh, the bunny walked into his hatch and came back out with a glass of water, handing it to the cat-pokemon, who poured it down his throat and gasped in relief as his throat grew nice and moistened again.

"HOW DO DEY EAT THAT?", he panted, getting a facepalm from the aggravted bunny. As funny as it all was, Angel was getting a little tired of watching the chickens ignore him and gestured for Meowth come closer. Rubbing his throat, Meowth did so with a curious look.

"What? What am I doin' wrong?"

Sighing again, Angel took a pawful of the feed and hopped over to the fowl with a whistle. Almost instantly, several of the chickens wandered over to the bunny and began pecking at the feed in his white paw. Meowth was just amazed at the ease that Angel was able to do it.

"So dat's all dere is to it?", he asked.

Angel nodded and scooped up another pawful, giving it to the cat-pokemon and nodding for him to do what he had just done. Whistling, Meowth held the feed out and waited for the chickens to approach. Sure enough, a few of the fowl cautiously came over to Meowth and, at not seeing any movement from him, slowly began to peck and nibble at the bits in his paw. Inwardly, Meowth began to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Heh, dis ain't so hard.", he thought as he whispered to the fowl around him, "That's right, eat up. Eat ALL the food... just like Fluttershy said... don't eat too much now..."

But as Meowth moved his paw to try and get another handful, a few bits of uneaten seed fell out of his paw and rolled down onto his foot. As Meowth lifted up another pawful of stock, he suddenly felt a sharp peck on his foot paw, the startling causing him to drop more of the seed.

"Ow! What the?", he yelped looking down. To his and Angels shock, the chickens were now pecking at his feet!

"Ow! Stop dat! Cat food ain't on the menu!", Meowth pleaded, trying to shake off the fowl, only to fall backwards into the bag of feed in his attempt to get them off of him. Before he knew it, he was being pecked at every part of his body, the chickens all trying to peck the bits of feed off of him.

"Angel! Fluttershy! HALP!"

Immediately, Angel ran to the back door and used his foot to pound on it until the pegasus had come out.

"Angel? What is it swe-", she started to say before she looked up and saw the chickens all pecking at her friend, "Oh good Celestia! Meowth! I'm coming!"

Fluttershy ran to Meowth's side and tried shooing all the chickens away, but they were so engrossed with their eating that they didn't even hear her calls.

"C'mon... please...", she pleaded, "Don't eat the nice kitty! He's not good for your tummies..."

But the fowl couldn't hear her... and she knew she had only option.

"I didn't want to have to do this...", she thought to herself, "But I've got no choice..."

Closing her eyes and lowering her head, Fluttershy slowly walked towards the cat-pokemon before lifting her face to reveal an ice-cold stare. It was the kind of gaze that could pierce ones soul all the way to the bone. The chicks were frozen in place by Fluttershy's shattering glare.

"Now all of you chickens get back into the coop...", she spoke calmly, "I think you've all had enough food for now..."

Obediently, the chickens scurried back into the white coop, leaving Fluttershy and Angel to tend to the Meowth laying in the bag of feed with peck marks covering his body.

"Meowth! Are you ok?", Fluttershy asked, looking at him in alarm. Even Angel looked frightened at all the pockmarks on his cream-white-yellow body.

Meowth just grimaced before he spoke up...

"Now I know what swiss cheese feels like!"

* * *

><p>As Fluttershy helped Meowth with his wounds, the pegasus couldn't stop apologizing for his being so viciously henpecked.<p>

"Meowth, I'm oh so sorry! I never knew chickens could do that!", she coaxed as she wrapped a bandage around his ear.

"Yeah, yeah...", Meowth winced as Angel put another wrap around his foot, "That's ok... ooh, that one smarts!"

Angel just groaned as he bit off the wrap to fasten the peckmark on his tail. He didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad for him. He'd seen Spike go with a simliar ordeal when Fluttershy went off with the others to go against the dragon snoring smoke all over Equestria. But he knew Spike had the hard spines and scales to protect him... Meowth only had flab and fur.

"Look at it this way...", Meowth joked, "At least I know I'm irresistable to chicks!"

This got him a smack on the back of the head from Angel. It was one of the worst lines he'd ever heard and he'd heard them ALL from Pinkie Pie!

Even Fluttershy was only able to muster a small chuckle before she finished dressing his wounds and helped him off the couch he'd been seated on. "There we go!", she smiled as she looked at the cat-pokemon now dolled up in bandages, making him look like a half-wrapped mummy.

"I feel like I should be in a pyramid or sometin'...", Meowth groaned, getting another kick to his backside from the rabbit and getting the hint, "Ok, ok! No more puns!"

"Angel, that's not nice!", Fluttershy scolded the bunny as she looked at the forlorn expression on the cats face, "What's wrong, Meowth?"

"Aw I just wanted to be able to help yas. You've been so nice to my friend...", Meowth pouted, "But I just ended up getting nearly turned into cat-flavored chicken feed!"

"Your heart is in the right place, Meowth.", Fluttershy smiled, "That's all that matters."

At this, even Angel just gave him a small thumbs up... as best he could with his paw.

"Yeah... I suppose..."

"C'mere, Meowth..."

It was then that Fluttershy did something that caught Meowth off-guard...

She kissed him. She leaned down and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Immediately, Meowth felt his eyes grow wide and his cheeks turn a deep shade of red. He couldn't say anything, he just stood there stumbling over his words.

"Buh... wuh... uh...", Meowth struggled to speak, rubbing his chubby cheek where Fluttershy had smooched him.

The pegasus merely smiled and left into the kitchen to start work on the days salads, knowing Meowth would come in when the shock of the kiss wore off. She'd seen Rarity have the same effect on Spike.

Meowth just stood there for a few moments, rubbing his cheek... and not even Angel's kicking could break the grin from his face before he followed the pegasus into the kitchen, an aggravated Angel bunny just smacking his head before heading in after them.

* * *

><p>As he listened to the roosters nearby cawing at the rising sun, Josh rubbed his eyes and looked down at the pegasus sleeping in his lap. He remembered that the night before, Rainbow Dash had needed help getting to the bathroom in time to finish revisiting the big meal that she and Applejack had tried shoveling down as practice for the contest, only to quickly watch it all in reverse. He also remembered what Rainbow Dash had told him, about the nightmare she had that led to her nausea reforming.<p>

"My Dash... my sweet little Dashie...", he cooed as he gently set the pegasus' head down onto the bathroom carpet and got to work wiping his face. He knew today was the first day he'd be taking Dash's spot on the weather patrol while she was in practice and he wanted to make a good impression on their gruff boss. He knew Hammerhead was still annoyed by all the times Dash called him everything OTHER than Hammerhead; names like Hammy, Ham-and-eggs, Ham-a-lam-a-ding-dong all making the other ponies laugh and Hammerhead get another gray hair on his black mane.

Wiping off his face using one of Applejack's towels, Josh turned to leave for the door. But as he looked down at his sleeping sweetie, he gave a small sigh and took off his jacket, draping it over Rainbow Dash's body and giving her a kiss before he took off. Putting a little pressure on his leg, Josh grimaced before making his first real steps that day and smiled when he found himself not collapsed on the ground before tiptoeing down the stairs and out the front door, noticing the hallway where Rainbow Dash had her accident fully cleaned up, Josh took a few steps out into the crisp morning air and let out a sigh of relaxation. The crisp morning air felt great, blowing through his black hair and ruffling through the wings held against his body.

"Ahhhhh nothing like a beautiful orange sky to start the day...", he sighed happily, getting ready to open his wings and take to the air. But the sharp sound of a shovel hitting a bucket caught his attention and, turning to his side, he found himself looking at a caramel-colored pony digging holes in the ground, presumably to get ready to plant the days seeds. He didn't want to have the noise wake Applejack and Rainbow Dash up yet, since he knew Big MacIntosh would be doing that with his whistle soon enough.

"Hey ya think ya can keep it down?", Josh asked, walking over to the pony, "Dash and AJ are tryin' to get a little rest. They had a hard night."

"Sorry, man.", the pony replied, "Just doing a little morning yardwork. Since Applejack's taking a little time off, me and some of her cousins have to pick up the slack."

"Ahh so you're one of her relatives. Shoulda figured she'd have a big family."

"Yer darn right she does! Name's Caramel.", the pony remarked, offering his hoof to the teen, who took it calmly before nodding to the bucket filled with dirt nearby. "Just digging holes for some of my cousins to do the planting for today. Just because our cousin's taking time off don't mean farmwork can do the same."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true.", Josh admitted as he watched Caramel put another shovelful of dirt into the gray bucket nearby, "So you're not worried about all that's going on?"

"Naw.", Caramel replied, "Applejack and Rainbow'r fighters. Some fancy-pants ain't gonna beat them."

"I just wish Rainbow Dash had the same confidence..", he thought to himself as he watched Caramel continue his work, "Well I've gotta head off. I'm taking Dash's shift on cloud duty. Still getting used to having a hand in making the weather."

At this, the two shared a small laugh before Josh unfurled his wings and got ready to take to the air.

"But can you please try to keep down the noise? Big Mac's gonna be waking them up soon and I'd like them to be able to get as much rest as they can."

"Don't worry, I'm just about done. Then it's back to the toolshed for this.", Caramel reassured him.

"That's good.", Josh smiled as he began to crouch to take to the air. But right as he took off, he heard Caramel say something that caught his attention.

"Oddest thing though... I found this bucket in the weirdest of places."

"Huh?", Josh wondered, hovering a few feet above the air, "What do you mean?"

"Yeah, I found it in the guest bedroom next to the bed where they were sleeping."

At this, something snapped a little in Josh's head and he lowered himself back to the ground, his eye twitching.

"You found it where?", he whispered loudly.

"In the guest bedroom. Dash and AJ were asleep and the buckets were empty, so I figured they wouldn't mind if I used them for this. That's ok, right?"

Josh's response was calm. He picked up the bucket of dirt, raised it above Caramel's head, and promptly turned it upside down and slammed it on the earth ponies skull, showering him with the messy contents.

"You idiot...", he seethed before giving the bucket-headed pony a backhand and causing the bucket to vibrate against his head like a bell. Caramel collapsed to the ground as Josh took to the air, leaving the pony to wonder one thing...

"What the heck was that for?"


	11. Weathershock

As Josh looked at the gruff pegasus named Hammerhead inspecting him and all the other pegasi floating in the sky, he could sense the ferocity in his voice. Every word he spoke dripped with a gruff demeanor and the fact that now he was short one of his best flyers didn't help to improve his attitude. As glad as he was to be away from Dash's nicknames for him, he couldn't deny that the cyan pegasus had serious talent and without her skill, he was more than a little uneasy about them making the quota for that days rainstorms and cloud covers.

"Alright, ladies!", he barked, "Listen up! Since Rainbow Dash is taking a break for this contest, we've got her friend taking over for her. I know the topic of Rainbow Dash helping represent the town in that eat-off is fresh on all of yer minds, but we've STILL got a job to do! Am I clear?"

"YES, MR. HAMMERHEAD!", the pegasi said in unison. They knew better than to anger him on a day when his mood was already pretty foul.

Noticing both Josh and the cross-eyed pony next to him, Hammerhead turned his attention to them in particular.

"Josh, Derpy, listen up!"

"Yessir!", Josh nodded. But he noticed the mailmare next to him was suspiciously silent and when he looked to his side, he saw her looking up at the sky intently.

"Derpy Hooves, what the heck are you doing?", Hammerhead barked.

"You said to listen up!", Derpy remarked, "So I'm listening UP. I don't hear nuthin' from above!"

It was then Hammerhead considered heading back to his sky locker and taking out his bottle of Old Crow for a few swigs. This girl was growing to be the cause of his taking to drink more often.

"Hooves, it's an expression... ugh... anyways..", Hammerhead groaned, rubbing his head with a forehoof, "I need you and Josh to take a couple big clouds and head on over to Meadow Viejo. They're expecting a nice storm for their dandelion crops... Celestia knows they need one! Can you two do that?"

"Of course!", Josh said, "You can count on us! Right, Derpy?"

"Right!", Derpy repeatedly, "Where's the cloud for the job?"

Sighing, Hammerhead pointed between Josh and Derpy and, looking behind them, they found themselves looking at a giant raincloud.

"Oh! You want me to use my butt to move it?", Derpy asked excitedly.

"I... I don't even know how to answer that...", Hammerhead asked, Josh and the other pegasi staring at them.

Josh couldn't help but turn to the pegasus on his other side, one with a pink colt and an electric-blue mane. "Any idea how to respond, Firefly?", he asked, remembering seeing her picture and name on the wall of pegasi scheduled for the day.

The pegasus shook her head sadly. "I don't, nor do I want to... She makes my friend Pinkie Pie look like the poster pony for sanity."

"Wait, you know Pinkie Pie?"

"Well sure!", Firefly grinned, "Who DOESN'T? My friends and I party with her down at Seaside Springs. They've got a great water-park!"

"Huh...", Josh tilted his head curiously, "Learning more and more each day."

Firefly couldn't help but giggle. "Why not join us sometime? My friend can make one amazing Mai-Tai!"

"Sure, why not?", Josh shrugged, "But right now, lets just focus on this..."

"AHEM!"

Hearing the loud throat clear from Hammerhead, Josh and Firefly stood at attention while their boss went about assigning the other pegasi their weather jobs for the day.

"Ok, does everyone have any questions for the assignments... ones NOT butt or muffin related?"

Immediately, Derpy's hoof went down and the other ponies, Josh included, couldn't help but give a small giggle. Seeing as none of them had any other queries, Hammerhead gave the nod for them to break to get to their assigned duties, Josh and Derpy taking the big raincloud and heading off. As he watched them head out of sight, the temptation to break open his bottle of whiskey was still weighing high on Hammerhead's mind.

"Between Derpy Hooves and Rainbow Dash... I'm wondering if my job as a manticore tamer was better than this..."

* * *

><p>The trip to Meadow Viejo was not a long one, the smal town only being a few towns over from Ponyville, but there was still enough of a distance for Derpy and Josh to converse as they carefully brought the giant patch of cumulus nimbus to its destination.<p>

"What were you talking about when you asked about moving the cloud with your butt?", Josh asked curiously.

"Oh you didn't know?", Derpy replied in all sincerity, "My butt is made of iron!"

"Iron?"

"Yeah! It's capable of bashing through trees, doors, and toilets! The doctors said they've never seen flanks like mine!"

Josh had NO idea what kind of response to give for that, so he figured it'd be best to change the topic to something that he'd been wondering for a while. "Say Derpy... when I first came to Ponyville I heard you saying "Muffin"... just that one word "Muffin"..."

"Hee hee!", Derpy giggled, "I like muffin goodness!"

"Yeah... so why'd you just say "Muffin"? Not "I like muffins" or "Can someone get me a muffin?"

"Because I love even saying the word! Muffin, muffin, muffin, muffin!", Derpy cooed.

The human just shook his head as he watched the town of Hoofington pass below them. Meadow Viejo wasn't too far from them.

"Well if we do this job good, hows about I treat you to a couple muffins?", he offered.

Immediately Derpy's eyes grew wide. "Really? You'd buy me some muffin yummyiness?"

"Sure. I heard Meadow Viejo actually has a pretty decent muffin shop. But that's ONLY if we get this cloud put right!"

"Yes sir!", Derpy saluted as the small town of Meadow Viejo appeared below them.

It was a quiet town, famous for its homemade blueberry-cranberry muffins made by MuffinTop, a unicorn with an uncanny ability for baking muffins, cupcakes, and other baked goods. It didn't take long for the two pegasi to find where the dandelion crop was and even Derpy could see the flowers looked in dire need of H20.

"Those flowers look awful thirsty...", she remarked sadly.

"That's what we're for.", Josh reassured her as he prepped the cloud up for prime downpour. Rainbow Dash and Hammerhead had given him a crash course on weather duties and, while he still wasn't fully clear on some of the finer aspects of the job, he knew enough to get by. "Derpy, when I count to three, buck the cloud at the same time I kick it. Do NOT do it without me or we may end up getting shocked. We need to provide the right amount of pressure to prevent just lightning from coming out. Got it?"

"Got it!", Derpy replied with another salute and getting into position.

"Ok.. 1... 2...", Josh started to count down. But it was then Derpy noticed a bug flying onto the cloud and she tried to shoo it away.

"Go away, icky bug! This cloud isn't for you!", she called, waving at the insect frantically.

"Derpy! Don't do that! You'll end up hitting the-"

**"Bbbzzap!"**

It was too late and Derpy's hoof made solid contact with the gray cloud, causing a bolt of lightning to spread out and shock both pegasi badly. Because they weren't on the ground, complete electrocution was averted, but they were both still left singed and charred.

"Oops...", Derpy blushed sheepishly as Josh spat out a puff of smoke, "Are you ok, Joshua?"

The teen coughed before giving Derpy a weak groan and motioning for her to go back to the cloud. "Let's try that again..."

Derpy just chuckled in embarrassment as she shook off her charred state and got back to her position. "Ready when you are!"

"Ok, this time DO NOT MOVE UNTIL I GET TO 3 AND I MEAN IT! Getting shocked really fucking HURTS!"

Seeing Derpy's lips start trembling, Josh sighed and spoke again in a calmer manner. "Derpy, I'm still recovering from having my body stitched up. I may be able to walk now and the stitches may be gone, but have electricity going through my body can't be good for my damaged heart. You understand?"

"I.. I guess.", Derpy sniffled.

As he saw Derpy trying not to cry, Josh couldn't help but feel a little bad for yelling at her. "Look, I didn't sleep much last night, so my nerves are a little on edge as well... but I shouldn't have yelled at you... nor should I have backhanded Caramel...", he said that last part to himself.

"What was that?", Derpy asked curiously.

"I'm just still a little on edge, like I said... Tell ya what, when we get this done, I'll treat ya to a whole basket of muffins. How's that sound?", Josh offered. Immediately the pegasus brightened up.

"Yay! Muffin goodness!", she cheered as she got ready to buck the cloud.

"Ok... 1... 2... 3!"

Simultaneously, Derpy bucked the cloud at the same time Josh gave it a roundhouse. Immediately a thunderclap rang out followed by the beginnings of a downpour. Smiling in satisfaction, Josh gave Derpy a nod and watched as she leapt onto the cloud and started bouncing to make the rain come harder, even slamming her butt a few times into the cumulus. It didn't take long before a steady rain was rushing from within the cloud and leaving the two pegasus smiling in satisfaction.

"Now that's how it's done!", Josh admired as he watched the water droplets soak into the flowers below before turning to Derpy, "What do ya say we get us some Muffin goodness?"

"Yay! Yay!", Derpy cheered, clapping her hooves together as she watched Josh fly down to the ground and followed him as he made his landing and led her to Mr. MuffinTops Muffinporium right near where they had landed.

The second they set foot and hoof inside, Derpy took a big sniff and let the aroma of fresh-baked muffins fill her nostrils and make her tummy rumble in hunger. Grinning, Josh led the cross-eyed pegasus to the counter and listened to all the customers, several of whom were seated in comfy looking chairs, greeting Derpy eagerly. The sound of a TV blaring out on the wall of the shop filled the air as well, mixing together a festive atmosphere.

"Heyas, D.H.!"

"Good to see you, Hooves!"

"Nice to see ya here!"

All of them made the wall-eyed pegasus blush and giggle as Josh turned to her with a surprised grin.

"I'm guessing you're a regular here?"

"Yer darn tootin' she is!"

Hearing a jovial voice from nearby, Derpy and Josh found themselves looking at a pudgy red unicorn with a blue-colored mane and a smile that could rival that of Pinkie Pie's anyday. A red and white striped hat sat upon his head and his forehooves were resting upon the countertop displaying dozens of types of muffins, doughnuts, cupcakes, and all sort of other baked goods.

"Derpy there's like my best 5 customers! Every week she comes by during work to pick up a bushel of muffins for herself! Always polite, always knowing what she likes, always with bits on hand! A model pegasus she is!"

"Derpy?", Josh asked in bewilderment, "The same Derpy who was just asking my boss if he wanted her to use her butt to move a big raincloud over here?"

"No way!", an elderly gray unicorn cheered, "We're finally getting some rain for the dandelion crops? Thank Celestia!"

Immediately the bakery rang out with applause for the two pegasus, making them both blush.

"So you all know about Derpy's antic and none of them faze you?", Josh asked again incredulously.

"We know she's a bit out there at times..", the red shopkeeper admitted, "But she's always been nothing short of friendly and polite... just like all the ponies in Ponyville!"

"Even the Cakes?", Josh asked and immediately flinched, expecting the shopkeeper or patrons demeanor to change and for them roar at him to get out...

But nothing happened other than the shopkeeper letting out a laugh.

"Relax, young one! We know about Sugarcube Corner and the Cakes business! We have an understanding!"

"An understanding?", Josh asked, relaxing a little.

"Yeah!", Derpy replied, "They supply Ponyville with great muffins and we supply them with Pinkie Pie's creations!"

"Huh...", Josh replied, "And you guys don't mind the competition?"

"Naw!", the shopkeeper guffawed, "There's no fun if we're the only ones in business!"

Josh couldn't help but smile. "I gotta say you have one VERY positive attitude towards your fellow bakery! Sounds a lot better than the attitude EPA had.."

At this, a silence DID fill the bakery causing Josh and Derpy to both flinch as if again expecting the shopkeeper to roar at them to get out and never return and indeed when the shopkeeper spoke, his voice was full of anger and rage.

"I'm... I'm sorry...", Josh whispered weakly, "I'll just go-"

"THOSE EVIL EVIL PONIES!"

Hearing the shopkeeper roar not at him, but at the group, Josh lowered his guard again.

"We all heard what they did to you... They're a disgrace to equines everywhere!"

"So you know what they did to me...", Josh muttered icily.

"Let's just say when the news report came in... it left me cleaning up a lot of half-digested muffins..."

Josh and Derpy couldn't help but shiver.

"Look... we've been here nearly 10 minutes and as much as I like the conversation... me and Derpy DO have to get back to work soon... I promised Derpy I'd get her a nice big bushel, Mr..."

"MuffinTop. Call me, MuffinTop.", the keeper offered, holding out his hoof to the teen, "Of course, go ahead! Sorry to have kept you!"

"Nah, it's cool. Derpy, what types would you like?", Josh asked the pegasus with her face pressed against the glass and a river of drool pouring down her chin, a sight that made MuffinTop and the rest of the shop laugh, "Derpy!", he shouted, suppressing a laugh of his own. Hearing his voice, Derpy brought her face off the glass with a POP and blushed.

"I'll take 4 cranberry-blueberry, 4 pumpkin, and 4 buttermilk!", she cheered, rubbing her forehooves hungrily.

"Throw in a red velvet muffin and a hot cocoa for me too.", Josh added. With a nod, MuffinTop got to work producing the sweet treats as the two pegasi took a set in a set of squishy armchairs and in less than a minute, he'd brought over a basket of muffins for Derpy and a muffin and cocoa for Josh. Immediately, Derpy went to her mailbag to fetch the bits to pay him, but MuffinTop put his hoof up.

"Please, this one's on the house. A little way of thanking you for the raincloud for the dandelions!"

"Yay!", Derpy cheered as she tucked into the basket of muffins.

"Danke..", Josh smiled.

This brought a puzzled look to MuffinTop and Derpys faces, one Josh was quick to notice.

"It's German... I spent a summer there..."

"Ahhhh.. Ich lernte ein wenig deutsch ich mich in meiner Jugend.", MuffinTop replied with a smile.

"You don't say...". Josh said, rubbing his chin with a hand.

"Um... what the heck are you two saying?", Derpy asked, her mouth bulging full of pumpkin muffin.

Josh and MuffinTop just laughed as the latter trotted back to the counter before the teen turned to his friend and picked up his cocoa. "I'll tell you later..."

But as he brought the drink to his lips, something on the TV screen caught his attention... something unpleasant.

_"We're here in Rutherford with world-class eating champion, Champagne, already practicing to take on his latest competitors.."_

**_"You mean victims, oh ho ho!"_**

Setting the drink down at the same time Derpy swallowed her mouthful, the two pegasi found themselves watching as the screen panned to what appeared to be the inside of a german-looking restaurant, the unicorn seated at a booth and gobbling up what appeared to be a month's supply of all the restaurant's goods.

"You're obviously referrering to the two newcomers, a miss Applejack and a miss Rainbow Dash...", the reporter, a burgundy-colored pony with a brown mane and a mustache that anyone could tell to be way too dark to be naturally brown, said as he held the microphone to Champagne's face.

"I was referring to all of those going against me in two weeks... but THOSE two... Oh ho ho!"

The sneer on Champagnes face disgusted even Derpy Hooves.

"Their arrogance has made it clear the next town to be cleaned by me... Ponyville... I will take such joy in driving them to dust!"

"Do you really think that's necessary? I mean you're gonna be humiliating them in the contest... Destroying their l-"

"Cam!", Champagne cut the reporter off, "If I let them go, other towns will get the idea that they can besmirch my name... to challenge me, one must be willing to put it ALL on the line... and Ponyville can thank their two ponies for leading to their famine... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"But what about the rumors of-"

"You mean that human with Rainbow Dash? It is no concern of mine that he's allowed his wench to stick her snout in where it shouldn't be!"

"WENCH?", Josh growled in anger as the whole shop listened to the report.

"Maybe if he kept a tighter rein over her, Ponyville wouldn't be facing the Hell I have planned... if they thought what happened in Albaneigh was bad... wait until I get through with Ponyville... I guarantee the mayor won't be the only one looking for escape from a rope! All because of the two bitches named Applejack and Rainbow Dash... HA HA HA!"

Josh just looked in rage at the monitor for a few moments before turning to MuffinTop. "Rutherford... WHERE IS IT?"

"Um... it's two towns away to the east... wh-"

"Dieser BASTARD!", the teen cut him off and swore before he turned to Derpy Hooves, who'd been watching the whole thing in shock, "Derpy, tell Hammerhead I'm gonna be a little late coming back from Meadow Viejo... I'm gonna pay Champagne a little visit..."

Derpy just nodded and dumped the rest of the uneaten muffins in her mailbag before giving Josh a hug and flying off. As soon as she was out of sight, Josh took to his own wings and flew out of the shop. As MuffinTop watched him vanish, he couldn't help but fear what Josh had in mind...

The state the teen looked in... It was almost as if HE wanted to watch someone burn...

* * *

><p>Back on Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were being resting on the couch after another workout from Big MacIntosh. The pegasus had Josh's black jacket still wrapped around her, although Rarity had been surprisingly willing to clean and shine it while she was exercising. In fact, both equines noticed the unicorn had been a bit more humble than usual that morning, saying that she'd take care of the jacket after apologizing to Fluttershy for the night before.<p>

"I swear I'd never seen Rarity so... calm!", Applejack admitted, "I'd have thought she'd be more strung up than a cat at a dog show! Especially after you ralphed on her!"

"Please don't remind me, AJ...", Rainbow Dash groaned as she held Josh's jacket close to her. The fact that he'd left her with his warmth even when he had to go to work had brought a lot of joy to her heart. But her stomach was still uneasy, even after the antacids she'd taken when she'd gotten up in preperation for the days consumptions. She was determined to eat until she had to throw up each and every day before the contest, her goal of expanding her tummys intake ringing fierce in her mind. "But how do you think he's doing on weather patrol right now?"

"Sugah, I'd say he's gotta be doing pretty darn good! Remember, he had you for a teacher!", Applejack replied, bringing a small blush to the young pegasus' cheeks.

"Yeah... but I just hope Hammerhead lets him off before we need to do todays scarf-and-barf..."

The cowpony just sighed. "I ain't planning on pukin' again, Dash. I'm just eatin' enough to where I'm a little queasy, then callin' it in. Apple Bloom's got a bottle of ginger ale waitin' fer me."

"Suit yourself, AJ...", Dash shrugged, "But this isn't some tortoise-and-the-hare race. Slow and steady ain't exactly going to win this!"

At this, Applejack had to admit the cyan-colored pegasus had a strong point. When it came time for the actual eatoff, speed and capacity were going to be factors in victory. Still she knew that if she wanted to be able to train to her full potential, she'd have to do it at her own pace. Dash was at maximum energy and that was cool with her, but AJ wanted to take it nice and slow...

Yet deep down she had the sinking feeling that Rainbow Dash's method may have a bit more logic to it.

"You're sometin' else, ya know that Dash?", she remarked, bringing a grin to the pegasus' face.

"I do what I do, AJ... I do what I do." she calmly remarked as she picked up the remote to the TV and flicked it on, a feat that was rather impressive considering she was using hooves, finding her and AJ looking at another report on Champagne, much to their chagrin.

"Ugh, can't this pony do anythin' but eat and hog the spotlight?", Applejack groaned, "He's making that Trixie look like Fluttershy!"

"Yeah, that's MY job!", Rainbow Dash blurted out, getting a laugh out of the cowpony.

"Yes, Cam, I plan on winning the EWREC for the 11th year in a row! It's going to be oh-so fabulous!", the unicorn boasted as he bit into another giant sausage, the sappiness and false bravado in his voice making both ponies gag.

"You heard it here folks!", Cam said to the camera, "Champagne's thrown down the gauntlet! He's aiming to win EWREC for the 11th year and he's got Ponyvile in his-"

It was then the sound of a door being thrust open rang on the TV and Cam and Champagne turned to something offscreen, Applejack and Rainbow Dash paying close attention.

* * *

><p>As he landed in Rutherford, Josh was seeing pure red and he was ready to give Champagne a piece of his mind. He had made a point to make his landing right in front of the biggest German restaurant there, knowing that he'd find the unicorn there. Sure enough, even from outside Bratwurst's Best Wurst, he could hear Champagne's loud saccharine voice, as well as that of the reporter he'd heard on MuffinTop's TV.<p>

"After calling out all those ponies... you're confident none of them will best you in the EWREC?", Cam's voice rang out, "Even Rainbow Dash?"

A few seconds passed before he could hear Champagne's answer. "Yes, Cam, I plan on winning the EWREC for the 11th year in a row! It's going to be oh-so fabulous!"

Josh didn't waste a second before he stormed into the restaurant, kicking open the door and startling Cam, Champagne, and all the patrons inside.

"CHAMPAGNE, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD!", Josh screamed as he pushed his way through the crowd surrounding the unicorn and his feast, "GET UP! GET UP RIGHT NOW!"

"Excuse me, but who are you?", Cam called out, only to have the teen grab the microphone and look into the camera.

"I'm Joshua Rocket! I'm Rainbow Dash's trainer!"

* * *

><p>The look on Rainbow Dash's face as she saw her love on the TV screen was indescribable.<p>

"Rainbow Dash?", Applejack called out, waving her hoof in front of her face.

* * *

><p>"Her trainer?", Cam asked curiously, "Then what are you doing all the way down he-"<p>

Josh cut him off with a raise of his palm and turned his attention to Champagne.

"How DARE you call my Dashie a wench and a... a BITCH!", he spat.

"You think I should have called her something stronger, ho ho!", Champagne taunted, laughing in Josh's face.

"Oh you SON OF A-", Josh screamed grabbing a bottle of sasparilla nearby and clutching it so violently it shattered, spilling glass and soda on the ground, "You are so LUCKY there's cameras here or I wouldn't hesitate to BEAT YOU INTO DOGMEAT!"

"Oh ho! Fighting words from a human? I'm SOOOO scared!", A pony with dark shades and a black buzzcut mane chuckled from the side of Champagne's booth, catching Josh's attention.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Call me Knuckle, I'm Champagne's bodyguard. He's got a whole array of ponies catering to his whim, heh heh. How many does your Dash runt have?"

"Ho ho, good one Knuckle!", Champagne chortled.

"You... you...", Josh sputtered, trying to find the words to express his fury, "Ugh... Just know this, SHAMPagne... When Rainbow Dash and Applejack humiliate you in front of all those ponies at the EWREC and feed you a nice big slice of humble pie... I'll be there to SHOVE it down your throat and make you EAT IT!"

At this, Champagne just burst out laughing, much to the teens bewilderment.

"HOW ARE YOU LAUGHING?"

"Kid, you think you're the first one to threaten me? COUNTLESS others have made empty promises to do things to me and in the end they ALL end up watching their towns and their lives go down the drain! I'd have thought by now all of Equestria and the world would have grown to know to worship me! But you've proved me wrong and now it's my job to make sure Ponyville goes down..."

It was then that Champagne motioned for the teen to lean in and as soon as he did, the unicorn whispered to him.

_"And I'll take a special pleasure in watching Rainbow Dash cry as her friends suffer..."_

"You... YOU DEMO-", Josh started to roar, but Champagne placed his hoof on his lips before reaching for something on the table.

"Tut tut, you've had your piece... now it's time for you to make like a tree and SPLIT!"

Before Josh could do anything, Champagne took the bottle he'd grabbed and bashed it into Josh's face knocking him away from the table covering his face in agony.

"My face! MY FACE! I CAN'T SEE! I CA-"

What happened next all the ponies in there would remember for quite some time.

Blinded by the pain in his face, Josh's foot made contact with the puddle of liquid on the ground and sent him falling forward... into the lens of a nearby camera. As soon as his head hit the lens, the barrier between Josh and the volts of electricity was broken and the human was zapped with a massive current of raw electricity and this time...

His feet were planted on the ground and allowing a complete electrocution.

* * *

><p>"NO!", Rainbow Dash screamed as she watched Josh fall into the camera and get shocked, "SOMEONE HELP HIM!"<p>

* * *

><p>Finally the jolts of power broke Josh off of the camera and sent him falling backwards against Champagne's table, breaking the back of his skull against the wood and knocking him out. Cam, Champagne, Knuckle, and everyone was left looking at the teen slumped against the table, blood streaming from his half-opened mouth and coating the back of the table and his wings. His hands were outstretched by his sides, held out as if begging for money, but cupped with traces of his liquid. His eyes were staring blankly into space, blood pouring from his tear ducts as a result of the severe electrical shock to his brain. The silence that filled the restaurant was horrific.<p>

"SOMEONE CALL 911!", One pony shouted as Cam tried to get the camera to cut away. But in the minute that it took the inexperienced camerapony to shut off the feed, Champagne's words echoed through the whole of the restaurant.

"Don't bother... let the pathetic waste die! His death will serve as a reminder to all that oppose the great and powerful Champa-"

It was then mercifully that the feed was cut, leaving the gray-coated anchorpony looking in horror at the screen in front of him.

"Folks, due to the graphic nature of the broadcast, we cannot continue our report... Our thoughts are with Rainbow Dash... we'll try to get a report on the teens condition soon..."

* * *

><p>Rainbow Dash couldn't speak, she couldn't think... She had just watched her lover get electrocuted on TV... and from what it looked like... his stand to protect her name had cost him his life... Applejack just looked at her friend and wrapped a hoof around her.<p>

"Dash... he'll be ok... Dash?"

But Rainbow Dash couldn't hear anything... not even Applejack calling out for her family to come where they were...

All she could hear... was the beating of her heart... and all she could feel were the silent tears streaming down her face...


	12. Truce with Talons

A couple quick notes.

1. I forget to mention this last chapter, but the character Firefly came from a conversation me and my friend, Ryuzaki, had regarding her collection of MLP swag.

2. Yes, that is real German Josh and MuffinTop were speaking.

* * *

><p>Within an hour, everyone had gathered into the Apple family's front room. The story of what Rainbow Dash and Applejack had just seen on the news report had quickly been relayed to the crowd and the reactions were mixed from horrified to shocked to hysterically sobbing.<p>

"My friend...", Fluttershy sobbed, being held by a Meowth who was noticeably struggling to hold back his tears, "My friend's dead!"

"From a fire to electrocution...", Twilight Sparkle whispered to herself, "Death wanted him and death got him..."

But not one of their reactions could rival that of Rainbow Dash. She hadn't said a word the whole time, the silence from the normally-energetic pegasus beyond unnerving. She just sat there, clenching Josh's jacket in her hooves, staring at the black TV screen. Even Pinkie Pie was scared to say anything to her.

"Rainbow Dash...", Granny Smith quivered, "Honey are you ok?"

"Dashie...", Pinkie Pie added, "Please say something..."

"Dash...", Meowth sniffled as he comforted Fluttershy, "Please..."

Finally Rainbow Dash spoke... or rather... she screamed.

"!"

She screamed louder than she ever had before, letting out scream after scream, each one ringing out with a mix of terror and grief at watching her lover die on national TV. He had given his life trying to defend her...

No matter how tightly everyone covered their ears, they couldn't deafen the agonized screams of their friend, each one piercing straight through to their hearts.

Her screams didn't stop until her tears finally began to flow down her cheeks as the sobs began to erupt. Applejack and Twilight Sparkle just held her close as she let out each quaking cry. They had never seen her so miserable, but Applejack in particular knew neither she or Dash would ever be able to erase that sight from their minds.

"Just let them out...", Twilight cooed, patting her back.

"We'll get him back...", Applejack reassured her, "We'll make sure he pays not just at the contest... but we'll make sure he pays for what he did..."

"What's the point...", Rainbow Dash wept, "He took my sweetie... he took my soul! He's going to do the same to Ponyville..."

It was then the odd sound of the phone ringing broke through the air and Granny Smith nodded to Big MacIntosh to get it, the colt trotting into the kitchen.

"Don't SAY that, Dash!", Rarity yelled, "We'll make sure that... that... that JERK is put away for this!"

"How?", Dash gasped in between her cries, "You saw what he's capable of... Even I can't top that!"

It was the first time any of them had heard Rainbow Dash give any hint that she wasn't the alpha pony of the group and it frankly was an unsettling sight.

"Dashie, you can beat him!", Pinkie Pie coaxed to the pegasus.

"WE can beat him!", Applejack grinned to her.

With a sniffle and a choked sob, Rainbow Dash turned towards the cowpony. The look on her face was haunting to say the least. The normally confident look of the cyan pegasus was replaced now with one of utter fear.

"How?", she asked frantically, "How?"

It was then that Big Mac trotted back into the room, a bewildered look on his face.

"Um... Applejack? Someone on the phone wants to talk to Dash..."

"What NOW?", AJ groaned, "If it's that Champagne, tell him to BUCK off!"

"It... it's not him...", he shook his head, "It's someone else and they're insisting on talking to her."

"Are they crazy?", Rarity insisted, "In the state she's in, I don't think she wants to talk to-"

"Give me the phone...", Rainbow Dash uttered sullenly, "It's gotta be someone with Champagne... I'm telling them I'm done... they ca-"

"I really DON'T think it's anyone associated with that unicorn!", Big Mac replied irritably as he gave the phone to her and listened to her speak into the reciever...

"Hello?"

But the voice on the other end was not one that Dash could remember at all hearing on the news report...

_"Rainbow Dash, listen and listen close... Your friend, Josh... he's fine. I know where he is.."_

"What?", she gasped, "Where?"

Hearing her cries brought a silence to the room as the voice continued.

_"Come to Ponyville Urgent Care, room 052. Come alone... I'll explain everything..."_

"No! I want to know who this is! I want everyone to know!"

The voice on the other end sighed before they spoke again. _"Not everyone... Bring Applejack if you insist... I can't let everyone know what happened... not yet... Especially not that weak Fluttershy..."_

"Either we all come... or I'm getting the cops down there! I just watched him die, I want to make SURE this isn't a trap!", she seethed.

Finally the voice relented with another sigh._ "Fine... bring your friends... but NO ONE ELSE.. I'll explain it all here... I'm waiting... Trust me, I wouldn't need any trap if I wanted to hurt you."_

With that, the voice hung up, the click on the phone echoing through the room. It took less than a second for the pegasus to get off the couch and out the door, calling out to the rest of the mane 6.

"Girls, we need to go... NOW!"

Without wasting a second, the ponies all rushed out after her, but Fluttershy hung back before turning to Meowth. She knew he had as much right as them to make sure Josh was safe.

"Meowth, hop on... you want to see him too... I know you do!", she whispered. Immediately the cat-pokemon climbed onto Fluttershy's back and let the pegasus take off for the hospital in what seemed like the second time in way too short a timespan. But in all the commotion, Rainbow Dash failed to notice Josh's jacket still on the floor, an item Granny Smith quickly noticed.

"Child, wait! You forgot-"

But Big Mac put his hoof up, cutting her off. "Just let 'er go... Granny... Just let 'er go."

* * *

><p>It took all of 5 minutes for them to reach the doors of Ponyville Urgent Care, a mixture of adrenaline and fear seemingly propelling them towards the edge of town where the hospital lied.<p>

"I go fer years without needing to set HOOF in a hospital and now I'm at one fer two different cases in less than 2 weeks!", Applejack groused as she stared at the front doorway leading into Ponyville Urgent Care.

"Yeah, was it REALLY necessary for all of us to come with Rainbow Dash?", Rarity pouted, "Who knows if she's going to throw up again!"

"Girls, remember...", Twilight groaned, actually giving Rarity a very dark look, "We need to be here to Dash... She's gotta be scared more than anyone of us... so let's just go in and support her..."

"Yeah...", Fluttershy wavered, "Hopefully whoever that voice on the phone was... They've got some good news..."

"I hope so...", Meowth coldly remarked, "That's my best friend in there..."

"Dashie..", Pinkie Pie reassured the pegasus near her, "We're ready to go in when you are..."

With a shuddering sigh, the normally-bold pegasus threw open the doors and sped inside, her friends fast behind her. She wasn't remotely scared of being back in the hospital... she was more scared of finding someone had tricked them or seeing her lover's corpse. But she knew she had to find out if he was okay... they all did... Finding room 052 wasn't hard, since they'd spend enough time in the place before to memorize the entire layout.

"050... 051... 052!", Rainbow Dash counted the room plaques before coming to the one the voice had mentioned and, to her surprise as well as that of the whole groups, the door was already open, a beam of light visible from the small crack in the door. It took a simple push for the door to swing open, allowing the rooms sparse lighting to spread into the hallway. With an uncharacteristic tremble, Rainbow Dash crept into the room.

"Josh? Josh are you here?", she quivered as Twilight followed her in and flicked on the full lighting.

"_Urgh..._ Dash? Is that you?", a wavery voice croaked out.

Looking ahead, the ponies found themselves looking at a shocking sight. Laying in the hospital bed in front of them was...

"JOSHUA!", Rainbow Dash cheered as she ran over to her lover and held him tight. But as the others looked on, they could all tell the teen was badly injured.

"Josh, my god...", Rarity gasped, "What happened to you?"

A set of bandages covered his head and left eye and through his weak smile, splotches of blood could be seen on his teeth. His gold t-shirt lay on the ground next to his bed and the curtain shielding the bed next to him, saturated in blood and water, as if someone had tried to clean it off. He looked altogether miserable, but as Dash hugged him and his friends looked at the teen laying in the bed, he managed to give a thumbs up and a grin.

"That... that bastard... he thought he could kill me...", he wavered.

"But I thought he HAD!", Meowth blurted out, gagging from the sight of his friend battered and bruised. The cat-pokemon HATED hospitals and just being in one was making him scared. He didn't know whether it was all the damaged ponies or the smell of disenfectant and medicine in the air, but the buildings always made him shudder.

"He... he nearly did... But someone saved me..."

"Who?", Dash asked frantically, "Tell me who!"

A calm, but rugged, voice rang from the bed next to his...

"I did you dorks..."

"No.. it can't be!", Pinkie Pie gasped as she watched the shadow behind the curtain reach out to pull the sheet aside and fling it open, revealing themselves...

"You?", Rainbow Dash yelled as she looked upon the form of the being now sitting back on the empty hospital bed.

It was a feathered creature, her tough brown lion body and her white eagle's head mixing to give her a look of coolness and mystique. Her beady avian eyes just looked at her former flight school classmate in stoicism, as if looking at nothing more than her reflection in the mirror. She didn't even achknowledge the other ponies and cat-pokemon in the room, just her, Dash, and the human in the bed. It was the face of a Gryffin that Dash hadn't seen in quite some time...

"Heh.. I thought you'd be more grateful to your boyfriend's rescuer.", she quipped, breathing into her golden claw and rubbing her chest nonchalantly.

"Gilda?", Twilight sputtered, "You saved him?"

"I KNEW IT!", Pinkie Pie cheered, "I KNEW THERE HAD TO BE SOME GOOD IN YOU!"

"Pfff..", Gilda scoffed, "Don't go reading into this, Stinkie Pie... I only saved him because that jerk Champagne was pissing me off..."

"What are you talking about?", Fluttershy quivered, shirking behind Applejack. She remembered all too well Gilda roaring at her back in the marketplace and her flying off in tears.

"It's like this...", the gryffin replied, "It happened back in that restaurant, Bratwurst's Best Wurst I think..."

* * *

><p>*90 minutes earlier*<p>

_"I had just gotten done with some mid-morning flying manuveurs, trying to better my skills and prove that I'm the definition of cool.."_

"_Gilda_!"

_"Geez okay!.. I had just gotten done flying and I had a hankering for a little grub.."_

As Gilda made her landing outside of Bratwurst's Best Wurst, she cricked her neck to loosen it from all the corkscrews she had pull off in her routine. Ever since her episode in Ponyville, she'd become more determined than ever to prove she was number 1 in the sky. Rainbow Dash had chosen to stick with her new friends and it had driven her to distraction and frustration. Only through her aerial practice was she able to think clearly and even that hadn't been working well lately...

"Damnit Gilda!", she groaned to herself, smacking her head in anger, "Get it together! If Dash wants to associate herself with those dweebs it's her loss. You're still hotter than a jalepeno! You don't need her... Just get some food in your system and you'll be able to concentrate more..."

Looking up at the big green and gold sign above her, the gryffin grinned and patted the small satchel she had around her neck and listened to the coins inside jingle.

"This should be good for a quick bite.", she thought to herself before pushing open the door and looking in at the crowd of pony patrons eating and chatting, "Heh.. apparently I'm not the only hungry one here..."

Calmly, she strutted over to the counter and gave a quick glance to the menu before turning to the blue pony behind the counter.

"Welcome to Bratwurst's Best Wurst, home of the 16-foot Wur-", the pony started to say cheerfully before cut off by the gryffin reaching into the satchel and pulling out a clawful of coins.

"Save it, sister. Just gimme a large Burrlin Knockwurst special, extra relish and extra garlic on the fries!"

"Ok, would you like a drink wit-"

But a loud commotion cut their conversation short and as both Gilda and the pony looked at the front door, they saw Champagne standing at the threshold, flanked by his staff and followed by what appeared to be a news crew.

"PONIES, RUFFIANS, LEND ME YOUR EARS! I AM CHAMPAGNE AND I AM HERE TO EAT!", he bellowed before pushing his way to the counter, knocking over other patrons and even stealing a few drinks.

Immediately, the pony gave the gryffin her food and started shouting to the rest of the cooks in back, leaving Gilda looking in bewilderment at the spectacle. She was used to causing cashiers to scream, but this time she hadn't done anything to cause it!

"What the heck was that about?", she thought before a husky voice cut her off.

"Excuse me, birdie, but you're in my way!"

Turning around, Gilda found herself face-to-face with Champagne himself.

"No, excuse ME! I don't care WHO you are or WHAT your name rhymes with, NO ONE TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT!", she yelled, poking Champagne in the snout.

"Champagne will talk to whoever he wants HOWEVER he wants! Now apologize for your rudeness!"

"ME? Apologize?", Gilda sputtered, "Gilda Clawden NEVER apologizes! If anything, YOU should apologize for calling me birdie!"

"Fiesty, ain't we?", the pony in shades next to Champagne grinned, "What say you just give Champagne your food and we'll let you go without having to apologize." He began to reach for Gilda's tray of food, but found himself looking at her fist.

"Touch me or my tray and I'll be eating YOU! GOT IT, PUNK?", she growled before shoving past Champagne and heading to the first table she could find. She could hear Champagne and his crew glaring and leering at her and it was all she could do to not slug him.

"Lucky for him, I'm more concerned with feeding my stomach than feeding my anger right now...", she murmured as she picked up her empty drink cup and went over to the nearby soda station, pouring herself a lemony carbonated beverage and sipping from it as she sat back down.

It normally would have taken the gryffin all of 5 minutes to consume the food, but instead she found herself looking at Champagne and his crew ordering nearly everything the restaurant had and taking it to a big booth for the unicorn to scarf down ravenously. The whole thing was just disgusting and seeing the news crew filming his eating and gloating didn't do anything to help her appetite.

"I thought that pink pony in Ponyville had bad manners...", she thought as she picked up one of the garlicy fries and popped it in her beak, "But this guy is just GROSS!"

As much as she tried to focus back onto her food, she couldn't help but listen more and more to the unicorn's loud arrogant boating until something he said brought her anger to a boil..

**"You mean that human with Rainbow Dash? It is no concern of mine that he's allowed his wench to stick her snout in where it shouldn't be!"**

Hearing Dash's name being degraded like that made her feathers stand on end. Even if she WAS mad at her for turning her back on her cool friends for a bunch of lameos, she still had respect for her skills.

"That rotten sneak...", she seethed, clenching the soda cup in her claw so tightly her fingers punched through the paper and sent the bubbling liquid exploding all over her.

"GAH!", she screamed reaching for a napkin and wiping her eyes to see now the yellow liquid coated the whole of the table as well as her lap, "Just great... NOW I need to go to the bathroom to clean myself off... just peachy!"

Grumbling, the gryffin climbed out of her booth and walked into the bathroom. It took her a few minutes to get herself all clean and dry, the sticky soda doing a good job of matting down her feathers to where she had the appearance of a wet poodle, but eventually a good amount of soap and air-dry had her back to her rugged volumed self.

"There we go...", Gilda cooed, unable to resist admiring herself in the mirror, "Back to pristine. Gilda, you devil... heh heh..."

**"CHAMPAGNE, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD! GET UP! GET UP RIGHT NOW!"**

The bellowing from outside the bathroom door was quick to fetch Gildas attention and as she stepped outside, she found herself looking with the whole crowd at a rather unusual spectacle. What appeared to be a male teenage human from one of her old high-school textbooks was in Champagnes face, screaming. He had a very wiry build, black hair covering his head and covering his neck. A gold-colored T and black jeans covered the human from what she could make out through the crowd. But what was most unusual about the human was the set of folded fleshy wings that hung by his shoulderblades. It was like she was looking at a mix of a human and a pegasus.

"**HOW DARE YOU CALL MY DASHIE A WENCH AND A... A BITCH!**", the human screamed.

"You think I should have called her something stronger, ho ho!", Champagne taunted and immediately, Gilda wanted to either retch or push through the crowd and rip Champagnes head off!

The teen apparently shared her sentiments as he picked up a bottle and clenched it in his hand so fiercely it exploded like the cup of soda had on her earlier.

"They REALLY need to get better drink holders..", Gilda chuckled to herself as she watched Champagne and the teen argue, the same pony with shades that had got in her face getting into his. He heard him address himself as Knuckle and immediately the urge to give him a knuckleduster to his kidneys roared through the avian's body. But the more she listened to the teen scream and roar at them, the more she couldn't help but admire his determination, sticking up for Rainbow Dash like that.

"Even a dweeb like Dash deserves a little protection...", she thought to herself as she watched Champagne motion for him to lean down. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but what happened next would stick out in her mind for a LONG time.

The unicorn picked up a bottle of hot sauce and broke it into his face, causing him to stumble back and slip on the spilled liquid from the first bottle, landing onto one of the nearby cameras and electrocuting him violently.

"Oh dear Celestia!", she gasped as she watched the jolts finally push the teen away and down onto the wooden table, the loud crack as his head made impact with the edge ringing through the ears of Gilda and every other pony in the restaurant. One look at the teen's bloody face and vacant eyes and she knew he was dead.

"Fuck.. FUCK!", she thought to herself as she watched the burgundy pony nearby gesturing for someone to cut the feed to his report. She heard another pony call for 911, but Champagne's response had been the final straw..

"Don't bother... let the pathetic waste die! His death will serve as a reminder to all that oppose the great and powerful Champange! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

As much as Gilda enjoyed a good brawl and even seeing death, to see an innocent being die trying to defend a classmate of hers... and being refused a chance for medical attention by the same pony that killed him was insane even by her standards. It was then she remembered what she had in her satchel... a gift from her friends, Zecora and Cascade, to help in case she got injured trying new moves. Cascade had said it was powerful stuff, even able to revive someone who'd just died... although the last part they hadn't been able to try out as they refused to kill any being just to see if her gift worked. It was a long shot, but Gilda had to try... if anything, it would really piss Champagne off to see his attempt at murder had failed.

Fetching the leather satchel, Gilda finally made her way through the horrified crowd of ponies and knelt down towards the human's body. The blood that was pouring from his mouth was still wet and dark and from the amount streaming from his ducts, she knew he had some severe brain damage. If this worked, she could at least bring him back to life...

"Here goes nothing..", she muttered as she reached for the satchel.

"HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Looking up, Gilda saw Champagne and his flunkies glaring at her.

"I SAID TO LET THAT HUMAN DIE!", he bellowed.

"YOU HEARD 'IM!", Knuckle added, "LET THE KID ROT!"

"Fine, fine...", she muttered, "But can't I at least give him one last drink to wash the blood from his corpse. You don't want all that congealed goo causing him to stink up the joint, do you?"

"Pff.. fine!", Champagne scoffed, "You can give him one last swig... It'll be funny watching you try to feed a corpse anyway! HA HA HA!"

Opening her satchel, Gilda pulled out a small vial of clear blue liquid and popped off the topper. Immediately, the strong scent of fresh grass and saltwater filled her beak.

"Jeez, this is some potent stuff they gave me!", she thought to herself as she raised it to the teens half-open mouth, "Well.. here goes nothing..."

Gently, the gryffin tipped the vial down into his mouth, letting the liquid inside pour down his throat. The sight of the bird pouring the vial into the corpses maw made half the ponies gag and the other half shudder, all the while Champagne and Knuckle just laughed at the pitiful sight of the bird raising the now empty vial and putting it back in her satchel...

At least they WERE laughing until they saw the teen's hand start to twitch.

"WHAT THE?", Knuckle yelled, "The fucker's alive!"

Gilda just let out a small chuckle as she watched the teen's motor skills slowly return to his appendages and his hazel eyes open and close as he brushed his ducts clear of the bloody streaks.

"Ungh... urgh...", he tried to gasp, before leaning to his side and spitting out a throatful of dark blood, "Whuh..."

"That... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!", Champagne gasped, looking at the teen slowly getting to his feet.

"Neh... heh heh..."

It was then the teen turned back to Champagne... and the look on his face was almost inhuman.

"Champagne...", he croaked in a haunting tone, "You tried to kill me... but I'm back... and Dash and AJ... we'll all make sure you pay... and rot in the fires of Hell itself..."

He felt his strength leave him and he nearly collapsed, held up by the gryffin draping his arm around her back.

"C'mon... let's get you outta here...", she groaned as she helped him out of the restaurant and through the crowd of speechless ponies. Even Cam and his news crew were in total shock.

"...Thank...you...", The teen gasped as he spat out another mouthful of red liquid on the restaurant floor.

"Don't thank me...", Gilda groused, "I don't want people thinking I'm soft... Name's Gilda..."

"J...Josh... I.. I need to get back..."

"Don't speak, dude...", Gilda sighed, "Save your strength... I'll get you to Ponyville soon... as much as I do NOT want to go back there..."

As Gilda and Josh left the restaurant and the crowd of ponies behind, Gilda's voice took over as the mane 6s attention was brought back to the present.

_"I had to take a cab to get him here, since it was pretty clear his wings were gonna be useless. When they found out who your friend was, they refused my coins as fare and gave us the ride for free... still can't figure out why..."_

* * *

><p>"I got him here and immediately called for ya... and that's the whole story..."<p>

As everyone just looked at her in pure astonishment, Gilda could tell they were all thinking the same exact thing... something that Fluttershy softly asked in a voice as loud as that of a mouse's squeak.

"Gilda... um... why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you save Josh?"

"I'd like to know that too!", Twilight added.

"Yeah! Last time we saw you, ya were ornier than a wet cat!", Applejack added, earning a sharp kick in the side from Meowth, "Ow! Watch it!"

"Like I said, don't go reading too much into this... I just saved him because I wanted to embarrass Champagne... nothing more!"

The look on Rainbow Dash's face made it clear to Gilda that the cyan pegasus wasn't buying it, but mercifully she chose not to pursue it any further. "Gilda, I can't thank you enough... you saved my love's life!"

Gilda merely scoffed. "It wasn't even me... my friend was the one who really did it! I just had her gift!"

"Her... gift?", Pinkie Pie asked, "Like a birthday present gift or a wedding gift?"

This got a puzzled look from everyone, even Twilight and Gilda.

"No, you moron... it's a special... well... it's the reason I wanted to see Dash alone..."

"C'mon, Gilda. You can trust us!", Applejack insisted.

"Yeah! Tell us what that gift is!", Rarity added, "I'm getting really curious!"

The avian sighed before she spoke. "I have this friend, Cascade... she works down in Sunset Springs with this zebra, Zecora, at times... apparently Zecora helped her make a special healing water. But neither of them had tested its potency on dead matter before.. so I just took a risk and got lucky... or rather your friend did!"

"Yeah...", Josh croaked, speaking up for the first time since Gilda had began her story, "But Dr. Whooves wants me to stay here tonight... He's thinking about naming a wing after me since I'm here so much...". He tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a wheezing guffaw.

"On the way here, your friend told me everything..", Gilda continued, "How you're trying to train to defeat that Champagne creep at the EWREC... and I want in..."

"Wha!", Dash gasped, "You want in as an eater?"

"No!", Gilda smacked her head in exasperation, "I want to help you and Apples there train!"

"The name's APPLEJACK, pardner..", the cowpony growled, "And why would you want to help us?"

"Yeah!", Rainbow Dash snarled, "I thought my friends and I were just a bunch of lame-os!"

Gilda sighed again before she turned to Twilight Sparkle. "I'm sure your egghead friend over there has heard of the old saying "_The enemy of my enemy is my friend_". Right?"

At this, the lavender mare nodded. "Basically it means two foes teaming up to face a greater threat."

"Yeah! You guys want to beat him to save your town, I want to see him fall since he's just a braggart. We may not see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff, but this is one thing we all can agree on.. we want to see Champagne lose at the EWREC and get exposed for the creep he is... So whaddaya all say? A truce until the end of the competition?"

As Gilda offered her claw out, an uncharacteristically kind look on her normally stoic face, Pinkie Pie walked up to her, trying to discern any ulterior motive from the avian. Twilight in particular knew that despite her goofiness, Pinkie had a knack for seeing the truth in ponies almost as well as Applejack did. But try as she might, the party pony couldn't see any deceit in her eyes or in her expression.

"No tricks, Gilda?"

Gilda groaned in frustration, "Pinkie, if I didn't want to help you guys, why did I save your friend?"

At this, Pinkie had to concede a point as she turned to her friends. "What do you all think?"

"I'd say give her a shot... any help against that scourge is more than appreciated!", Rarity replied, spitting in disgust at the thought of Champagne.

"Maybe she can be of help... she seems sincere in her offer.", Twilight added.

"She... she did save him...", Fluttershy pointed out before turning around, "What do you think Meowth?"

It was then she noticed that the cat-pokemon was no longer on her back... in fact he wasn't in the room at all!

"Meowth?", she called out, "Meowth, where are you?"

"Who or what is Meowth...", Gilda thought to herself curiously. She got her answer in the voice of a small scared voice from behind the door.

"I... I don't want to get turned into cat food by that creature! I already almost got pecked to death by a bunch of chickens!"

Gilda couldn't help but have to stifle a laugh through her wing at hearing that. "Relax, furball! I don't eat cats! In fact I don't think any gryffin really does!"

"Promise?"

"I promise! Now come in here already!"

Slowly the door opened to reveal Meowth standing there shaking visibly.

"Jeez, yer shaking worse than a vase in an earthquake!", Applejack noticed, "I know she's mean, but I don't think she's THAT mean!"

"Thanks for the voice of confidence, AJ..." Meowth and Gilda thought at the same time before the cat-pokemon stepped forward, examining the bird in front of him.

"Ya did save my friend... maybe... maybe ya could help us all out... What do you think AJ?"

"I'd say give her a shot. If she tries anything funny, we can always burn her into a roast!"

This produced a horrified reaction from everyone, even Gilda. Applejack quickly noticed the gasps and held up her forehooves.

"Girls, I'm joking! But yeah, let's see if she can help us."

Finally, Pinkie turned to Rainbow Dash, Gilda's former flying classmate. The pegasus was holding Josh's hand protectively and resting her head on his shoulder. It took Pinkie shouting at her to get her attention.

"Dash! What do you think?"

Slowly, the cyan pegasus set Josh's hand back onto his chest and trotted over to her former friend. She looked her up and down, trying to get a read on Gilda, but she couldn't detect any malice or deception in her, no matter how hard she looked. Finally, she raised her hoof up to the gryffin, a small half-smile creeping onto her face.

"You did rescue my lover... for that I guess you do deserve a chance... friend."

Even though her face didn't show it, inside Gilda her heart felt a part of it come back together. She'd missed Dash, no matter how hard she tried to fight it. But she wasn't even REMOTELY about to let the others see that. Instead she merely cleared her throat and took Rainbow Dash's hoof in her claw, shaking it before going to the other ponies and Meowth and giving them a shake in return.

"Ok, so we've got Gilda helping us... what now?", Twilight asked her friends.

"Maybe start with telling me all that's happened so far!", Gilda grumbled, "You know it'd help to know how you dweebs have been training for this!"

"Gilda...", Rainbow Dash warned her friend.

"Old habits, Dash. Old habits..", the avian replied before turning back to Twilight, "So tell me all that's gone on."

It took around a half-hour for Twilight Sparkle to fill Gilda in on the events since Dash and AJ had started to train. When she got to the part about Rainbow Dash throwing up all over Rarity, the gryffin's reaction had been simply to fall to the ground, clutching her stomach in hysterical laughter.

"NO WAY! HA HA! RAINBOW DASH BARFED ON MISS PRETTY UNICORN? THAT'S AWESOME! HA HA!"

"Yeah.. ha ha..", Rarity muttered before spitting out an obscenity soft enough to where only Fluttershy could hear her, responding with a gasp.

"Rarity, where'd you learn that kind of language?", the yellow pegasus whispered back.

"It's better you don't know, Fluttershy dear..."

When the gryffin had finally gotten back up after her bout of raucous laughter and wiping the tears of joy from her eyes, she had let Josh and Twilight fill her in on the rest. The avian just took it all in before sitting back on top of the empty hospital bed, crossing her legs in contemptlation and tapping her feathery chin with a claw.

"Well it sounds like you guys actually have a pretty thorough regimen. Training endurance by day and capacity by night. I gotta admit I'm impressed..."

Josh and Twilight couldn't help but give a shyish grin, even though for the teen it looked painful for him to do so, the way he rubbed his cheek not exactly easing their spirits.

"But we gotta pump up the training if we're going to win this! Especially the capacity parts! I want you two to be barfing your guts out at the end of each day from taking in your maximum amounts!"

As they looked at Gilda punching her claw into the other, Dash and Applejack just looked at each other with a grimace.

"Do we really have to go that far?", Applejack winced.

"Yes we do! Your egghead friend had the right idea... and from what we saw on the news report, we KNOW that Champagne can stomach an INSANE amount of food... hell, I don't know if he even HAS a gag reflex!"

"Knowing Champagne-in-the-ass, he probably doesn't!"

At this, the other ponies couldn't help but snicker at Pinkie Pie's pun, the gryffin herself looking pretty impressed.

"Ok, THAT was a good one!", Twilight snorted through her laughter.

"Props, Pinks...", Gilda grinned, "Props. But yeah we need to get your bellies nice and fat, capable of inhaling gallons of food with ease! I want your flanks to be as big as two watermelons fighting over milk duds! To win this... you both are going to need to be HUGE!"

"Gilda are you SURE they need to be that big?", Rarity asked, "I mean... getting to the size of hot-air balloons... do they REALLY need to be that fat just to beat him?"

"Somehow I have the feeling it wouldn't be a bad idea...", Twilight replied before turning to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, "But what about you two? Are you okay with putting on that much weight?"

"Well weren't we gonna be doing that anyways, sugar?", Applejack asked.

"Not exactly! I thought it would be more gradual, maybe putting on a little pudge?"

"No, we need MAXIMUM! MAXIMUM STRENGTH, MAXIMUM COOLNESS, MAXIMUM WEIGHT!"

"Jeez, easy birdo!", Meowth muttered, "You're helping us out, not becoming a war general!"

"No, don't you see?", Rainbow Dash spoke up, "She's right! We need to get big and we need to get bold!"

"Whaddaya say sugah?", Applejack turned to Gilda with a grin, "Think you can help us both get pumped and plumped?"

"Applejack..", Gilda replied with a coy grin, "It will be a pleasure."

Immediately, the ponies cheered in the room and even Josh managed a weak grin. But their cheering was cut short by the nurse opening the door and calling out to them.

"Ok, girls. It's time for the patient to get a little rest... and no, you can't all just camp out here again!"

Saying their goodbyes, the ponies and Meowth all made to leave the room. But Gilda put her claw up as if to halt them.

"Actually nurse, can at least some of us stay here with him... you saw his skull get cracked... we want to be here in case..."

The nurse knew what she was getting at and sighed. "Ok, HALF of you can stay... but half of you need to go. I could get in trouble just allowing 4 of you to stay without Dr. Whooves permission... So whose gonna stay?"

Beforte they could even discuss who would stay and who'd go, Gilda spoke up for them.

"Meowth, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and I."

"Huh!", Pinkie gasped, "Wait a sec!"

"Trust me..", Gilda remarked, walking over to the ponies, "You WANT us with him..."

Seeing the gleam in her eyes the party pony swallowed and nodded.

"Gilda, if you do something to our friends...", Twilight warned, "Trust me, Nightmare Moon herself will shudder at what I'll do to you..."

"Oh I'm SOOOO scared.", the gryffin mocked, "Like I said to Dash... if I wanted to hurt you guys I'd have done it already! Just go, we'll be fine! Don't you need to tell Applejack's family what's going on anyway?"

With a sigh, Twilight nodded. "C'mon girls... we need to get Josh's jacket anyways.." Without another word, she led the girls out of the hospital room. But not before turning around and making a motion with her hoof that her eyes were on Gilda and she'd be there if the avian tried anything.

The nurse started to leave as well, but Gilda called out to her.

"Wait, nurse! Can you bring me a phone?"

Puzzled, the nurse gave a nod. "Sure, but why?"

Looking at Applejack and Rainbow Dash devilishly, the gryffin's reply was simple.

"I'm gonna order us a little dinner..."

Immediately, the two equine gulped. They knew Gilda was gonna resume their training...

And they knew she wouldn't stop until they were made to her perfection...


	13. Why'd You Stay?

Note: Ok, when I did the chapter I HONESTLY didn't expect it to end how it did... But somehow the words seemed to come together on their own and well... I wanted to have it expand a little more on Gilda and Josh... Don't worry, the funny will come on in the next chapter. I promise.

Btw, Cascade from the last chapter... she's another creation of my friend, Ryuzaki. A great friend and a great inspiration.

* * *

><p><em>"So let me get this a-straight<em>", the italian accented voice on the other end of the phone repeated to the gryffin holding the reciever, _"Ya a-want 20 of our 32-inch pizzas, 2 of each of our specialty pizzas, 6 orders of every one of our side dishes, 10 litres of soda, and 5 full chocolate cheesecakes?"_

"Did I stutter? Yes! That's what I want!", Gilda snapped. At hearing the order played back, immediately the stomaches of Applejack and Rainbow Dash began to turn, Meowth and Josh just looking in abject shock at the gryffin.

_"Madam, if we do that, we'll have to close the parlor down for hours! Last time we did that was after that Champagne douche and we STILL are struggling to make up for the loss! Motherfucker wouldn't pay a dime!"_

At this, Gilda grinned. "Well, this order is for a couple of contestants aiming to topple Champagne... and if we win, he may be out of your mane for GOOD!"

_"This wouldn't be for Rainbow Dash and Applejack would it? The caller ID shows the number coming out of Ponyville."_

"The very same! Help us and I'll pay double what the cost is!"

At this, the eyes and jaws of everyone else in the room seemed to grow double their original size and from the silence on the phone, they could tell the pizza worker was the same. A few minutes passed before he spoke again.

_"We'll do it on one condition... Make sure they win and let Champagne know the manager's family will be laughing at him failing and seeing him crumble like a little bitch!"_

Gilda just cackled before she replied. "That would be a pleasure I would do with so much desire!"

_"Alright then, that'll come out to 300 bits! It'll all be ready in less than an hour."_

"Less than an hour?", Gilda remarked in surprise, "For that big of an order?"

_"Trust me... everyone at ThickCrusts Ultra Pizza has a grudge with Champagne... and to see him fall will be great fun. We'll be using every worker we have on it!"_

Another grin spread over the avian's beak before she spoke. "Just deliver it to Ponyville Urgent Care Hospital, Room 052. We'll be waiting... ALL of us!"

_"Yes ma'am!"_

Listening to the other end hang up, Gilda set the phone down and finally took notice of the group of awestruck faces. "What?"

"Gilda, HOW DO YOU HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY?", Rainbow Dash blurted out, "DOUBLE what the order costs... for THAT MUCH FOOD!"

"You didn't rob a bank, did ya?", Meowth asked nervously, "We're not gonna get a bunch of cop ponies surrounding us, are we?"

"Relax, you two...", Gilda waved their concerns off, "I've done a lot of work on the GFC."

"GFC?", Applejack asked, scratching beneath her stetson curiously, "What the hay is that?"

"Gryffin Fighting Circuit.", Gilda replied, flexing her claws in pride, "You're talking to a 3-time Equestrian World Champion after all."

"Wha?", Rainbow Dash sputtered again, "How come you never told me that before?"

"I TRIED to!", Gilda remarked, "But that pink friend of yours kept butting in! Why do you think I got so aggravated?"

"I thought that it was because you were just concerned with being cool above all else!"

Gilda sighed and rubbed her head in frustration before she spoke. "Dash, I took a break from my fighting days to come visit you. I hadn't seen you in years and every time I tried to have fun and talk with you, Pinkie Pie would interfere! It got me pissed off! Wouldn't it do the same to any of you?"

None of them said anything for a few moments before Josh finally spoke. "Why didn't you just ask Pinkie to let you two have some private time?"

"Dash DID! But that pink bubblehead didn't take the hint!"

"That doesn't explain you scaring Granny, stealing that fruit, and making Fluttershy cry!", Applejack snarled.

"How'd you hear about that?"

"Pinkie Pie told us everything after you left...", the cowpony replied.

"Wait... you made Fluttershy CRY?", Josh growled. But the act made his headache return and he fell backwards into the pillow.

"Yes.. I did all those things... Scaring Granny, that was just me trying to have a little fun. Stealing the apple... I was gonna go pay for it later, but I never got the chance... even though I did leave a couple bits at the fruit stand as I left Ponyville..."

"What about Fluttershy?", Dash demanded, "What about her, huh?"

Gilda just sighed and rested her claws in her lap. "Ok, so that I went a little far on... I was just stressed from not getting to spend much time with you! I was always looking over my shoulder for that friend of yours... Being a high-ranked fighter can make you a little bit paranoid, wondering if someone's going to try to attack you for your fight purse or kidnap you..."

"But you're Gilda Clawden! You're like the fiercest Gryffin I ever met!", Rainbow Dash insisted.

"I thought she was the only one you ever met, Dash.", Applejack remarked.

"Nah, there were a few others in flight school... but most of them were just slackers. I was the only one who really put in an effort. But even a fierce competitor can be worried! I've heard stories about fighters on the circuit being kidnapped or even murdered just for losing a fight!"

At this, they all had to concede, especially Josh. He could remember back in his world reading stories in the paper about martial artists and boxers being attacked for not throwing fights and some of them even dying from their injuries.

"So why'd you call her weak on the phone?", Dash asked again.

"I didn't think she'd want to see me after I screamed like that at her. Hell, if it wasn't for your friend, I wouldn't have bothered ever coming back here!"

"But you did come back here...", Josh whispered, struggling to lean up in his bed, "You saved me and helped me get back home... I can't say I'm thrilled about you screaming at Fluttershy... Hell, I SLAPPED the last pony who did that!"

"It's true.", Applejack nodded, "Rarity told me Josh smacked her for making Flutteshy and Pinkie Pie cry."

"Woah...", Gilda gasped, sincerely shocked, "You did that?"

"Gilda, I don't care WHAT kind of trauma someone goes through... to make gentle ponies cry and to compare being nearly torn to bits to being vomited on... I just can't allow that!"

"You're referring to what happened with the EPA, aren't you?", Gilda remarked, "I remember reading about that before one of my fights. The opponent never showed, saying they had a relative who'd been attacked by Thoroughbred and knowing he struck again made him too scared to leave his house."

"I can't say I blame him..", Meowth remarked. Even though he hadn't been awakened during the attack, Luna had shown him footage of the whole ordeal from start to finish. Although where she got all those cameras was still something that puzzled the cat-pokemon. "If I had someone on da loose who tried barbequing one of my family members, I don't know if I'd eva' leave Rainbow Dash's home!"

"Yeah, but I also read the news report that said Dash helped Josh stay awake while she and her friends were freeing him. I never thought I'd see her doing something so... romantic."

At this, Rainbow Dash and Josh just blushed, looking at each other.

"Well... love can make you do some amazing things.", the cyan pegasus said shyly, "It can even make you willing to get yourself a little bloody..."

"Yeah..", Josh blushed embarrassed, "Sorry about coughing up blood when you were helping keep my mind awake."

"Josh, you'd been stabbed all over your body and you were suffering from 4th-degree burns!", Applejack reassured him, "I think your reaction was pretty normal."

Gilda just looked at her pegasus friend and the bare-chested human in the bed in front of her. She hadn't really gotten a good look at his face before, half of it covered in blood from pieces of the bottle cutting his face and the hot sauce scalding it. But now from what wasn't wrapped up in gauze, she could make out a countenance that looked like it had been through hell and back and was willing to go through it all over again. His lone hazel eye was focused on the pegasus nearby, twinges of a smile creeping onto his face even with his teeth stained red, a side-effect of some of the blood in his lungs being shot up his throat due to the currents of electricity raging through his heart and frying his organs. Dr. Whooves was amazed that the teen was still alive after all that. His chest, heaving softly with each ragged breath, looked young and smooth, even with the droplets of crimson that decorated it. His hands were resting at his sides, helping him sit up in the bed as if he was laying against the arm of a couch. Altogether he looked pretty much nothing like the humans she'd read about back in her textbooks... No he looked a lot cooler.

"Josh... I think I would have done the same.", she grinned, her face giving the teen a look of sincere compassion, "At least you're safe..."

The human grinned, but winced. "I can't believe he tried to kill me...", he muttered, "I knew he was a bastard... but to allow me to die..."

"He's evil... pure and simple...", Applejack remarked sadly, "He only cares about himself and making others lives a living nightmare!"

Rainbow Dash nodded, resting her head on his chest and letting him rub her mane. "He almost took my sweetie-wing... I would have lost my sanity if he had..."

"Ok, seriously...", Gilda remarked, making a gagging noise, "Easy on the lovey-dovey stuff!"

"Yeah...", Meowth winced. As much as he was happy that Josh had found love, this was getting too sappy even for him.

"Actually..", Gilda interrupted, "Would the 3 of you mind leaving the room a few minutes... I want to have a talk with Josh."

At this, Rainbow Dash gave a noticeable swallow and Applejack and Meowth stood guard in front of him. "Why?", the cowpony snarled, "We may have made a truce, but how do we know you're not gonna try something when it's just you two in here!"

"Let her..."

Hearing Josh's weak voice, the two ponies and cat-pokemon turned to him in alarm.

"Josh?" Are you sure?", Meowth asked.

"I have a feeling I know what she wants to ask... It's ok..."

Reluctantly, the 3 of them left the room, but not before Rainbow Dash turned towards Gilda. "Gilda... if you so much as TOUCH him the wrong way... I'll make sure you're clipped... PERMANENTLY.."

Gilda didn't say anything, but merely nodded as she watched the others leave and shut the door behind them before turning to the human in the bed.

"Ok, spill it...", she remarked, strutting over to the teen, "How'd you do it?"

"How'd I what?", Josh asked, positioning himself against his headrest, "How'd I get here? Celestia did that!"

"No... How'd you bring yourself to stay!"

At this, Josh gave her a puzzled look on what was exposed of his face. "What do you mean?"

"Josh, the Equestrian Pony Alliance threatened you, they tried to kill you, hell they burned you to the goddamn BONE! Yet you stayed... if it was anyone else, I KNOW they woulda turned tail and bolted without ever looking back! Why'd you stay?"

Josh didn't respond, but did something that impressed Gilda instead. He reached towards the bandage on his face and tore it off, exposing his eye. The flesh was still pretty scorched and there were still traces of dried blood below the ball, but other than that it seemed to be functional.

"Eahh.. Think I can use that now..."

"Ok that...", Gilda marveled, "That was actually cool!"

Josh just sighed and placed his face in his hands before running them back up through the mess of bloody bandages covering a major part of his skull. "Gilda... do you know how old I am?"

"Um..."

"I'm 15. I'm 15 years old... I've been alone since I was 10. This is the first sembelance of a home I've had since I became a teenager... I've lived in an empty house with nothing but broken memories and a set of relatives who'd rather see my head in a bag... all thinking I was responsible for deaths that I would never carry out because of a goddamn rumor..."

Gilda just whistled as she listened to the teen speak.

"I don't give a god-fucking-damn what a group of bigots tries to do to me... I don't care what Champagne does to me... I don't care what anyone does to me... I... will... not... lose... my... home! NOT AGAIN!"

Josh just clenched his fists and punched the headrest behind him in anger, startling Gilda. She'd thought SHE had a temper, but this was anger at its rawest.

"I will let them fry my brain.. I will let them burn my flesh... I will let them electrocute my bones... I will let them destroy my body... But I will never... NEVER... let them take away my new home... NO ONE will take away that... nor will they take my friends... OR my love! I will give my life before that happens! This is my light... I won't let ANYONE turn it out!"

"Ok, easy, easy!", the gryffin soothed. She had never seen such raw emotion, such rage before... and she'd seen it all. She'd been in fights, attacked muggers, come across more than her fair share of abuse... but this... this was an anger all of its own. The look in his face was indescribable and immediately... she realized that she was looking at someone... who could protect Ponyville... someone who could even save the world... or if his heart was corrupted... watch it burn to the ground. "Maybe... maybe I should bring the others back in... I think I got all the information I wanted out of you..."

Josh nodded with a growl and just let himself sink back into his pillows, massaging his bandaged temples. His head was throbbing from all he'd just said and letting his anger getting to him. He'd had a few temper issues even back in his world. He could remember when he attacked a classmate for mocking him about his dead parents... he'd bashed the kids head open to the point where they could see their own brain in the massive puddle of blood that he'd fallen into. The boys stitches were STILL very visible and very ugly and it took almost a year before anyone got the nerve to so much as LOOK at him again, terrified the wrong remark could set him off.

Laying in the hospital bed and watching Gilda leave the room, he knew she was talking to Rainbow Dash, Meowth, and Applejack about what she'd heard and he didn't even care. He'd just been through the gates of hell TWICE and he'd seen and felt death come upon him. Champagne... Thoroughbred... they'd both tried to end his life... and if it hadn't been for that special water of Gildas... Champagne would have succeeded. It made him realize that even in a place like Equestria... there would still be people and ponies out to see him buried... as they would his new friends.

But he'd never let that happen. What he'd told Gilda Clawden was straight from his heart. He would fight for Ponyville... for Rainbow Dash... for all his friends... even if he lost it all in the process... He was more than their friend. He was their protector... and it was his new duty not just to give them his wisdom... but his defense. Yet... he could feel maybe Celestia hadn't brought him entirely here to teach them... maybe... she'd brought him here for them to teach him... he didn't know anymore...

All he knew was what was happening in the now. He was laying in a hospital bed in room 052 in Ponyville Urgent Care Hospital. He'd been brought back from the brink of death by a gryffin and special water and said gryffin, a cat-pokemon, and two talking ponies, one of whom he was now in a relationship with... who he'd given himself to... were all waiting outside and in a discussion while they all waited for a gigantic pizza order to arrive. If someone had told him that would happen last year, he woulda pissed himself laughing. Yet now nothing like that fazed him. He didn't think anything could even surprise him anymore.

"ALRIGHT! PIZZA'S HERE! WOO!"

Hearing Gildas cheer and letting a faint grin come onto his face, he knew the gigantic order had arrived, the short timeframe incredible. Yet... like before...

Nothing fazed him... not anymore...


	14. Pizza Time!

As the gryffin left the hospital room, her mind was left in a daze after all she'd heard. This human... he was an actual loner... and he'd been nearly killed twice... yet he refused to leave Equestria... It didn't make sense at all...

"How is it possible?", she thought to herself, shutting the door and feeling a tear welling up in her eye, "How is it he's so indebted to Dash... to all these dorks... that he'd give his life just to protect them..."

"You ok, Gilda?"

Clearing her throat and not ABOUT to let the others see her emotional, Gilda turned and put on her normal stoic visage, her eyes looking to her side as if she'd heard nothing more than a wimpy love song.

"Yeah, yeah. Just talked to Dash's Sweetie-wing..", she replied mockingly, "That's all."

"Watch it, Gilda...", Rainbow Dash growled, letting out a snort of smoke through her nostrils, "Just because we're friends for now doesn't mean you're completely forgiven. What I said earlier goes... you do anything to hurt Josh or any of us... and I'll make sure you're put on a fryer with a nice array of spices to make you taste REAL good..."

At this, Applejack, Meowth, and even Gilda just looked at her in horror.

"I thought you ponies were vegetarians! Yet you BOTH threatened to eat Gilda!", Meowth cried, "What the hell?"

"Meowth, hun...", Applejack muttered, "At a time like this... especially after Josh's attack... tensions are exceedingly high... and if she does anything, I know Dash will make her life a living hell."

"Jeez, Dash. You act like I'm gonna eat or fuck the guy! I may be mean, but I don't play THAT way!", Gilda insisted, holding her claws up in defense.

The pegasus just sighed and rubbed her hoof through her mane. Her mind was still frazzled from seeing her lover nearly killed on live TV. That face... the way his eyes were staring into space as all the life was drained from them... it was unlike anything she'd ever seen before.

"Look... I'm just stressed out... plus I'm wondering what you've got planned with that giant order of food..."

At this, the grin on Gilda's face grew very wide... and as she looked over Applejack's shoulder it got even wider!

"ALRIGHT PIZZA'S HERE!", she called out, "WOO!"

As the three of them looked where Gilda was pointing, they found themselves looking at a blue earth pony dressed up in a red and black pizza uniform pulling a MASSIVE cart of what all 4 of them knew had to be the gargantuan order of food. Almost immediately, Rainbow Dash swallowed nervously, wondering what the gryffin was planning...

"I've got an order here for Gilda Clawden?", the squeaky-voiced pizza pony sputtered, his uniform slipping a bit to reveal the cutie mark of a keyboard on his flank. Immediately the avian reached into the brown satchel around her neck and pulled out a clawful of gold coins, quickly giving them to the pony who whistled. "300 bits... you weren't joking, were you?"

"You got the order here quick, you deserve every bit!", Gilda grinned, refastening her satchel and nodding to Applejack to help her get the large cart opened so they could bring in all the pizzas and sides and whatnots. The inside of the cart was a variable TARDIS, the depth and space inside completely contrasting it's relatively benign exterior. Just looking inside as she grabbed a few bottles of black soda, Rainbow Dash knew Twilight Sparkle would have question after question regarding how the heck it was so spacious inside its crate when it looked so small on its shell.

"There's enough space here to fit ten of Pinkie Pie's giant multi-layer neopalitan ice-cream cakes!", the pegasus marveled, peeking her head inside and gazing at its depth, "Even WITH the chocolate brownie stacks on top!"

"Speaking of which...", Meowth murmured, holding the boxes of cheesecakes in his paws, "Think after this we can stop by Sugarcube Corner an' pick one up? I'm craving something sweet!"

"Somehow by the end of what I've got planned for tonight, I don't think that'll be the case for you, hairball...", Gilda smirked inwardly as she got the last few pizza boxes in her claws, the pies stacked atop one another like a tower of blocks. It was to the sheer astonishment of the pizza pony, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Meowth that she was able to balance them all as she strolled into the hospital room, not a single pie falling out of place.

"Gilda...", Applejack whistled as she took the last few giant boxes of side dishes out of the cart and shut it tight, giving a nod to the pizza pony, "Ya'll ever thought about getting into buildings? Way you're holding all those pies is mighty impressive!"

"Nah.", the gryffin shook her head, "All those architectual jobs are boring. I'd have more fun combing the leaves out of my tail!"

"Even WITH getting to demolish stuff?", the cowpony grinned as she watched the delivery pony trot out of sight with the now empty cart. At this Gilda gave a contemplative sigh.

"I don't think anyone sane would want me within two feet of a detonator, AJ... I'd be WAY too tempted to try blowing up things like schools and libraries during the summer when the colts and hatchlings are out."

"You'd wait til' the kids left?", Applejack smirked, "Mighty nice of you."

"AJ, I'm a bully... not a monster like Champagne.", Gilda remarked, "Not to say I wouldn't love to blow stuff up!"

At this, the two animals shared a chuckle with Gilda even giving Applejack the faint trace of a grin as they went inside the room.

"Maybe there's hope for her after all...", the two of them thought of each other as Gilda used her foot to shut the door behind her... but what Applejack didn't see was her tail taking the key on the chair nearby and using it to lock the door behind her...

* * *

><p>"Woah... just... woah..."<p>

That was all Rainbow Dash could say as she looked at the same thing Gilda, Josh, Applejack, and Meowth were all gazing at, wonder in their eyes.

The pizzas, sides, sodas, and cakes were all piled up neatly against the wall by Josh's bed, set up almost like a wall of a colloseum. The steam and aromas rising from the cracks in the boxes hit them all square in the nostrils, a fact made even more impressive by Meowth not even HAVING a visible snout and Josh's nose being damaged nearly beyond all repair. Just the combined scent of all the pies and wings and cakes made AJ and Dashs stomaches lurch and mouths water at the same time. Even for Rainbow Dash, whose main diet consisted usually of take-out pizzas on days when she didn't feel like cooking... which was pretty much every other day... this was more cheese, sauce, and bread than she had ever seen. Not to mention the toppings there had to be. She didn't even KNOW what kind of specialties ThickCrust's Ultra Pizza had! She'd usually just ordered pies from Little Celestias... this ThickCrust's place was new to her, although she HAD heard rumors about them having pizzas the size of barns.

"I see you're quite impressed, Dash...", Gilda grinned.

"You kidding? I'M impressed!" Josh admitted, "I've never seen so much take-out pizza!"

"Apple Bloom would have a fit if she knew all this was here...", Applejack added.

"So I'm guessing you all want to know why I just wanted you guys to stay here?", Gilda remarked.

"Yeah, sugah... We DO!", Applejack replied, giving the avian a cautious look, "I know this has to be involving Dash and I getting fat and full for the eatoff... but why couldn't Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie be here?"

"Because they would object to what I'm gonna make you two do...", she grinned before walking over to where the private bathroom in Josh's hospital area was and, fetching a key from the nightstand next to the teen, locked the door tight before placing the silver key in her satchel and tightening it up. "You two... are going to eat EVERY single bit of food here... and you are not leaving this room UNTIL you finish every bite!"

"WHAT?", the two equine yelled before they both rushed to the door and tried to open it, only to find the knob wouldn't budge even an inch.

"GILDA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?", Applejack gasped, starting to hyperventilate. She didn't consider herself claustrophobic in the least, but being trapped in a hospital room with a very devious gryffin and no way out... it wasn't exactly the most relaxing situation for the blonde-maned pony.

"I've got both keys to this room put in my satchel. Only when every one of those boxes is empty will I unlock the doors. There's about 10 pounds of food in that pile and I expect it all to be either in your bellies or in a half-digested pile on the hospital floor!"

"Gilda, you're SICK!", Josh seethed, sitting up and revealing his scalded eye to Meowth, Dash, and AJ for the first time. Immediately the 3 of them recoiled with Applejack even covering her mouth with her hoof.

"What happened to da gauze coverin' dat?", Meowth yelled, "That thing looks like the flesh is nearly bubbling off!"

"Meowth, burns dont really have an effect anymore... I got fried by a religious cult, a demented eating champion... my..."

Josh stopped and turned away, hiding the grimace on his face before he turned back towards the group.

"I took off the bandage since it was bothering the hell outta me! My eye isn't damaged, it's just the flesh and unless someone pours battery acid or something on the wound, I don't think its gonna get worse! But that is not important here!"

Josh strugged to prop himself up to where he could sit on the side of his bed without causing himself more pain. He just considered himself lucky they didn't need to put an IV in him or his arm would be spraying blood everywhere right now.

"Gilda, what the hell do you think you're doing, trapping them in this room! What if they get nauseous and need to puke?"

"Like I said...", Gilda crossed her arms and turned away coldly, "They can always puke on the floor if they need to regurgitate before they finish!"

"So you're willing to let us DIE if we can't handle all that food?", Rainbow Dash seethed, "What if we have a heart attack or something?"

The avian sighed before turning to her cyan ally. "If you girls look like you're in life-threatening danger, I'll call off the training and get you medical help. But if you're just needing to blow chunks, you're not getting to that toilet before that whole pile of food and drink is in your stomaches!"

"Gimme one good reason why I shouldn't put my back hooves in your head right now, Gilda... ONE good reason!", Applejack seethed, approaching the bird menacingly, Meowth pulling back her mane to prevent her from leaping on the gryffin.

"Easy, AJ! We already had one person nearly die, let's not have two!", he yelled, even though he couldn't help but give Gilda a pissed-off look as well.

The look on Rainbow Dash's face as she looked at the giant stack of take-out went from one of horror to fear to nausea to shock before she turned to Gilda again in defeat. When the gryffin gave an order like that, trying to talk her out of it would have just as much effect as throwing a rubber brick at a fire-breathing dragon. She knew she had told the boy that she knew she'd be throwing up often during the training and that it was all part of getting her insides stretched and ready to take on that creep and especially after seeing him nearly die at his hooves on TV, she knew she should be more than eager to stuff herself to bursting.

But in reality, the pegasus was scared out of her wits! She knew Applejack had to be feeling the same that she did... vomiting wasn't even remotely fun. The smell, the sight, the feeling... it was all unpleasant... at least when it was coming out the other end, she could read a new Daring-Do book or even get in a nap... but when she was launching it from her throat, all that could be done was just praying for it to end.

Josh could see her look down and he whistled for her to come by his side. "Dashie, c'mere."

Immediately, the pegasus crept towards her lover, curious what he had to say. As soon as she got near him, he leaned down to where his mouth, dried plasma around it, was right near her ear.

"You're scared about throwing up, aren't ya? Even though you know I'll be here when it happens?"

"It's just painful, Josh... I know I have to overeat to stretch my gut out... but I'm scared..."

"But you're Rainbow Dash, ain't ya?", Josh whispered, "The bravest, boldest, most confident pony I know!"

"Yeah, well when I saw you get fried... maybe part of my bravery died a bit... knowing I had something to lose..."

It was then that the world become almost silent to the human as those words sunk in.

_"Knowing I had something to lose..."_

He knew Dash loved him, but he didn't know he meant THAT much to anyone... and at the same time he knew a way he could help the pegasus get more comfortable with what she had to do.

"Rainbow Dash... I want you to throw up on me."

Hearing Josh's whisper made the pegasus nearly whinny in shock, having to cover her mouth with her hooves to subdue the noise. "WHAT? Josh, you want me to do WHAT?", she asked the human.

"Dashie, if you just allow it to happen on me, at least then I can help it all come out by stroking your stomach... I KNOW you're not going to be able to hold it all in before you get to that toilet, so at least you can have comfort while doing your business.."

The look that the tomboyish pegasus gave Josh was one of pure confusion, so her lover sighed and explained, his voice staying at its low pitch to where only the two of them could hear... although the fact that Applejack and Gilda were arguing with Meowth acting as a mediator helped mask their conversation.

"Rainbow Dash, I'm going to assume you've never thrown up before to the extent you did yesterday and it startled you. I'm also going to assume you never saw a friend nearly killed like I was... and both instances shook you up. But you know as well as I do that all the suffering we're all going through... it's all going to be worth it in the end. Am I exactly happy with Gilda's idea, fuck no! But I do see where she's coming from, as much as I hate to admit it. She's putting you in a situation where overeating is the only way to freedom and she's said that if it gets to where you and AJ look like you're close to death, she'll call it off. We might as well go along with it and just get it over with instead of trying to fight it."

Dash looked at her lover, then at Gilda and AJ fighting, then back and forth and back and forth... until she lowered her head with a sigh and nodded as she looked up at the human pegasus.

"Thank you...", she whispered. Josh just smiled and ruffled his hand through her mane.

"Now go find out what she has planned, you ol' goose!", he quipped. The pegasus knew he was saying it affectionately and merely giggled before trotting over to Gilda, Meowth, and Applejack were arguing.

"You're outta yer apple-pickin' MIND, Gilda! How is FORCING us to eat all that food and not letting us leave gonna help us get trained!"

"You think they're gonna let you just get up and walk away during the contest? Heck, Twilight was doing the same thing, wasn't she?"

"Yeah, but she let us go to the bathroom when we couldn't take anymore... SHE DIDN'T MAKE US EAT THROUGH OUR OWN VOMIT!"

"APPLEJACK, PLEASE RELAX!"

Watching all the arguing and commotion, Rainbow Dash placed her hoof to her lips and let out a shrill whistle, gathering everyone's attention. Even Josh had looked over towards the cyan pegasus in bewilderment.

"Applejack, let's just get this over with. It's no use trying to argue with Gilda... BELIEVE ME I KNOW!"

"But Dash, what about...", Applejack started to ask, but her friend held up a hoof and cut her off.

"If it has to come out, it'll come out on the floor or the wall or wherever. I'm sure the hospital has had its fair share of ponies losing their apples in the hallways."

"Yech...", Meowth squirmed a bit, "Tanks fer da image."

"Glad you're finally startin' to see it my way.", Gilda sneered. Even if Rainbow Dash and Applejack grew to hate her guts, at least this way they'd be prepared and in prime plump shape and able to put Champagne in his place.

"But know this...", The pegasus warned, "I am NOT taking the heat if you get in trouble for forcing us to eat til' we bleed... GOT IT? That will be all on your feathered head!"

Gilda didn't respond, but merely achknowledged her friend with a simple head nod before she looked over to the stack of boxes.

"Ok, now that we're done with all the whining, There's 30 pizzas, 6 orders of breadsticks, cheesesticks, pizza rolls, pinwheels, and boneless wings, 10 bottles of soda, and 5 giant cakes... I want yo-"

It was then Gilda heard the sound of drooling and looking down, she saw Meowth licking his lips hungrily. Immediately Applejack and Rainbow Dash started giggling and Josh couldn't help but let a snicker creep along his bloody lips.

"Relax, cat... you'll get to eat soon too...", the avian-lion hybrid groaned, rubbing her claw through her hair, "But I want our two equines to each take 14 pizzas, 3 of each side dish, 4 bottles, and 2 cakes... that will be what they each need to chow through in order for me to allow them to leave this room."

"Gilda, correct me if my math is wrong, but don't that leave 2 pizzas, 2 bottles, and a cake unaccounted for...", Applejack remarked, raising an invisible eyebrow.

"Good eye, cowpony...", she smirked, getting a glare from the blonde-maned pony, "I thought I'd order an extra for each of your friends. I'll pick myself up something after we're done here. So go on and get your boxes of food, go go!"

Hesitantly, Applejack and Rainbow Dash walked over to the stack of boxes and divvied up the food between them. Even with the order split in half, it looked like a massive amount of food they'd both have to stuff down and the grimace on their faces was broad and wide. Josh could see they were both hesitant and he had an idea how to ease both of their moods. Scooting against the headrest and throwing aside all the blankets, he patted the mattress invitingly before climbing out of his bed and clearing off the spare. It may not have been exactly the smartest move on his part since he was just recovering from severe brain damage and the rapid movement made him woozy, but he bit through his pain much to the bemusment of the gryffin.

"Uh, dude?", Gilda asked in confusion, "What are you doing?"

Josh had to shut his eyes to stop the slight spinning, but it only took him a second before he could turn back to the creature with a small grin. "I just thought i'd get the bed cozy for Applejack to lay in as she eats, while you're bringing her the boxes of food."

Gilda started to nod, but then the second part of what Josh had replied entered her brain and she let out a piercing squawk!

"WHAT? Are you outta your mind?"

"Well I figured if we're trying to get them at least comfortable with all this eating, then they shouldn't have to get up to get the food... since that's not how it'll be done in the contest, is it?", Josh answered with a sweet smile, making Applejack, Meowth, and Rainbow Dash all titter. Gilda just grumbled and turned towards the pegasus.

"What about you, Dash? You want me to spoon-feed you?"

She shook her head calmly before nuzzling it against Joshs leg. "Not if Josh wouldn't mind allowing to sit by him as I gorge?"

Josh merely smiled and picked up one of the pizza boxes, opening it up to reveal the apple-covered pizza pie and nodding for Applejack to take one and do the same, an action the cowpony did without hesitation knowing that she could just lay in the hospital bed while Gilda brought her the foods to chow down.

"You are so fucking lucky you're recovering, Josh...", Gilda whispered, "You snide little bastard..."

"I try.", Josh whispered back before laying back to allow Rainbow Dash to climb up onto the bed and get herself seated on his chest. As she climbed onto the mattress and got ready to rest her rump on Josh's tummy, she looked into her lovers hazel orbs and gave him a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Josh..."

"Sie sind uns herzlich willkommen ...", he replied with a smile, getting a confused look from the pegasus. He giggled before he spoke again. "It means you're welcome in German. I spent a summer there and try to use a bit of it when I can... to remind me of happier times..."

"Sounds like a lot just to say two simple words.", Dash grinned as she slowly sat her big flanks down on Josh's body, sitting on him like she would a saddle and giving Josh a close-up of her pudgy belly. The teen couldn't help but blush at the feeling of her rump pushing into his chest. The slight squelching sound her cheeks made as she wiggled around made him have to suppress a chuckle. Finally, the pegasus was seated comfortably and she picked up one of the gooey slices of apple-studded pie. Turning to her side, she could see Applejack doing the same.

"Ready, AJ?"

The cowpony sighed and nodded. "Ready, Dash..."

Without wasting another second, the two equine got to work scarfing down the pizzas and consumables, Gilda bringing box after box of food to the cowpony and Josh rubbing and massaging Dash's stomach as she ate.

"Just chew and swallow Dash.", Josh coaxed, "Just chew and swallow."

Meowth just sat on a nearby chair, watching the action and eating the pie he'd taken for himself, all the while goading the gryffin.

"HEY GILDA! DON'T SLIP! YOU DON'T WANNA FALL AN' BECOME A PIZZA PIE YERSELF! I CAN'T IMAGINE TOMATO SAUCE WOULD COME OUT EASILY!"

Applejack found herself nearly choking in laughter but Gilda was far less amused.

"Yeah, keep talking like that and I just MAY get a craving for a catburger!"

Immediately, Meowth pursed his lips shut and just ate his pizza silently, Gilda giving a satisfied grin as she continued bringing the cowpony the boxes of take-out.

Thanks to the training the day before, it didn't take long for either of them to stuff down nearly all the ordered food, but by her eighth pizza, Applejack was again starting to notice her room spinning around, the pieces of chewed up pie and rolls in her stomach starting to feel like balls of lead.

"Ungh...", She groaned, patting her bulging belly and reaching for her 4th bottle of pop. She'd already poured down her gullet 3 full bottles of black beverage, letting out some very hearty belches, as had Rainbow Dash, but even pouring the fizzy liquid down wasn't seeming to settle the quiver in her gut, "Dash, I ain't feelin' so good..."

The pegasus turned to her friend, a pained look in her face. She herself had polished off nearly all the sides, nearly all the pizza, and put down her two full giant cakes, her speed naturally faster than that of her friends. The fact that she had her lover massaging her tummy helped a little, but even that was beginning to give way to the quaking in her stomach. "Neither am... hic... I...", Rainbow Dash admitted.

"That's good! That's good!", Gilda grinned leaning against the wall with her arms folded across her chest, "Eat through that pain!"

"Gilda, can't we stop? We're both feeling sick!", Applejack asked, "I'm not one for quitting, but this is getting mighty painful!"

"Do your hearts feel ok? Are you having trouble breathing?"

"No...", Dash admitted sadly.

"THEN LESS WHINING, MORE DINING!", she roared, clapping her claws together.

Josh didn't respond except to take one of his hands off of Dash's stomach and use it to give a little sign language to the gryffin.

"Yeah, very cute.", the avian remarked with a sarcastic chuckle, "Like I haven't seen THAT before! I've been given that by so many fighters it's lost all meaning to me..."

Josh just shook his head and resumed rubbing the cyan mare's blue bulge. "You're almost there Dash... just a few more pinwheels and slices left."

She reached for another one of the roll-like slices of pizzas, but immediately she felt a spasm in her stomach and her eyes shot wide open. It wouldn't be long before some of the pizza made an unwelcome return and she hugged her stomach tightly, struggling to hold in what was beginning to fill her cheeks. Applejack heard her starting to gag and immediately set down the nearly empty bottle of pop, keeping her eyes closed as she knew if she saw Rainbow Dash gagging, she'd start gagging too.

"Dash, honey... you ok?"

It took all of her willpower to be able to swallow down the vile liquid in her mouth before she could stick her tongue out in disgust and give the cowpony a weak response.

"No... Not exactly... I'm almost done... then look out toilet, here I come..."

Applejack gave a weak chuckle, but felt the food in her tummy start whirling and churning and before she knew it, she had to purse her lips shut to keep from losing it on the bed. But she felt horrible and knew she wouldn't be able to down anymore edibles until some of it came out. Looking weakly at Rainbow Dash, she swallowed and quivered to her equine friend.

"Ya... ya mind if I...", Applejack started to ask, but Rainbow Dash cut her off.

"Just... let me plug my ears first...", she replied, covering her ears to block out the ugly sound she knew was about to ring through the room and closed her eyes tightly. Seeing Dash do so, Josh didn't hesitate to mimic her, having a feeling what was coming. As soon as she saw their ears covered, Applejack felt her stomach completely turn over, sending its contents shooting into her throat and she braced herself on her hooves and...

**Bllllurrrggghhhh!**

She opened her mouth and vomited on the edge of the bed, a thick red and yellow stream erupting from her stomach and creating a puddle on the foot of the mattress. The sight was grotesque and even with her ears covered, Rainbow Dash could still hear the disgusting noise of her friend getting sick. She knew it was her stomach clearing room to allow the pony the ability to continue polishing off the remaining edibles and she also knew soon she'd be having a similar revisit with all the food she'd stuffed down.

Josh got a glance at the mess coming from Applejack's mouth and found himself being reminded of spewing out that mound of blood after Gilda's water brought him back from death's embrace. He'd thought his gag reflex had been destroyed after what Dr. Whooves had told him... but apparently even he couldn't be infalliable all the time. Even Gilda and Meowth had to turn away, the sight just revolting.

After a few minutes, Applejack felt the stream die down and managed to let out a thick ugly belch before reaching for one of the remaining slices of pizza and forcing herself to shove it into her mouth and stuff it down into her gullet. By now, the smell of it entering her snout alone made her nauseous and she just wanted to get it all out of her sight as quick as she could. The fact that there was now a pool of her own puke nearby made her feel all the more miserable, even IF she did have a little bit more room now inside her gut to put away the remaining take-out.

Rainbow Dash wasn't faring much better... even though she was down to just a few more slices of pizza, her stomach was screaming at her to stop and even with Josh massaging and carressing it in an attempt to calm the sloshing, she wanted nothing more than to be able to just rush to the bowl and give a major prayer. Her mate could even see the pain in her face and just cooed to her gently.

"It's ok... when you get done, you don't have to get up... just let it all come out here... I won't be mad..."

Taking another bite of her slice of mushroom-coated pie, the pegasus just winced as the taste in her mouth felt akin to one someone would have after a massive hangover. But she knew this would all come to fruition when she and Applejack beat Champagne... The vacant look on Josh's face as he laid slumped against the table in a puddle of blood was all the fuel she needed to keep eating through all the sickness.

_"C'mon Dash... just a few more bites... you're almost done... then you can just have a nice big puke and get it over with..."_, She told herself as she raised the last slice to her lips. But as she started to open up her mouth, her stomach gave her a major kick and she dropped the slice right onto Josh's face as she covered her mouth with her hoof. She knew it wasn't going to be much longer before she became a volcano and she clenched the bedsheets looking into both the face of her lover and the slice of pizza that now laid upside down between his eyes. Looking up, Josh could see she was in agony.

Her eyes and cheeks were bulged and widened to the point where he felt like if he pricked them with a pin, an explosion would occur. Her lips were pursed tightly and still allowing a few droplets of vomit to trickle between them. Her nostrils were flared and pulsing as she tried desperately not to lose it all over her lover. Even after he'd said it was alright if she needed to release on him, she still had one thing preventing her from doing so... Her pride.

She'd felt humiliated after vomiting all over Rarity and even more so after learning how the unicorn had snapped a bit, leading Josh to having to slap her back to her senses and nearly drawing blood. But at the moment, the temptation to just open her mouth and let the rancid contents of her gut come out to rid herself of the disgusting feeling was so enticing... yet she forced herself to swallow down her mouthful and quickly pick up and shove half the last slice in her throat, giving it a few good chews to the point where she could let it slither down her throat like oatmeal mush.

"One bite... one bite... one bite!" Josh coaxed, "Almost there Dashie!"

"C'mon, Dash! One bite! Ya can do it!", Meowth cheered.

Hearing the words of encouragement to her friend, Applejack forced herself to pick up the pace as well, wolfing down the remaining pieces of food as fast as she could. Her belly audibly complained as she forced more food down into an already quaking stomach, but the cowponys ears were deaf to its screams, her mind focused only on cleaning the metaphorical plate in front of her.

As Rainbow Dash looked at the last half-slice of pizza on her hoof, she could feel her body shaking from the sheer amount of caffeine and chocolate and cheese that she'd consumed, not only making her nauseous, but spiking her energy level to where it would make Pinkie Pie look like a poster pony for decaf. She didn't know where she wanted to puke or climb up the walls...

_"C'mon Dash..."_, she thought to herself, _"Just one more bite..."_

Trembling, she raised her hoof with the slice to her mouth and put what was left of it onto her tongue. It took her clenching her mouth shut and Josh holding her hooves for the pegasus to finally manage to swallow down the slice. It tasted terrible and she knew she was about to vomit. But at the moment, Gildas cheers were ringing inside her throbbing head and she couldn't help but give a wavery grin even as she felt her insides churn.

"Way to go, Dash! You got it all down!", the gryffin cheered, a tone of genuine pride in her voice.

"Y-yeah...", Rainbow Dash managed to get out before her abdomen spasmed and she had to cover her mouth to hold in the massive wave that shot up her throat. She knew she couldn't hold it in until Applejack was done with her food and from all the quivering and rumbling Josh could see, the pegasus was in an excruciating amount of pain. She had to do her business and Josh wasn't about to deprive her of the chance to relieve her illness.

"Go ahead, Dash... you earned it.", he smiled as he pushed in on her stomach to help the cramped mare get ready to spew.

Slowly, Rainbow Dash lowered her hooves, allowing Josh to see her puckered lips and before she opened her mouth, her magenta eyes gave him a look almost begging for forgiveness.

"Meowth.. this is gonna get ugly...", Gilda shuddered, turning her head. The cat-pokemon knew what she was getting at and immediately did the same.

Two seconds later, the pegasus opened her mouth gratefully as she hugged her stomach and...

**"BLLLLLEAAAAAARRGGHHHHHHHH!"**

Rainbow Dash leaned down and threw up all over Josh's chest, much to the disgust of the others in the room. The cyan pegasus was helpless as she retched and disgorged the contents of her stomach onto her lover. She was heaving so painfully some of it was coming out her snout and coating his chest in multi-colored vomit and now there were colors in her mane that never should have been. But Josh didn't even try to fight it, only rubbing her quaking belly to help her bring up as much as needed to help her feel better.

"Just let it all come out, Dashie.", he cooed to the sick pegasus, "It's all gotta come out..."

Just watching the pegasus lose her pizza made Applejack and Meowth feel nauseated, the former close to puking again and the latter having to cover his bulging mouth until he could swallow down his own meal.

Gilda's expression never changed, even as she watched half-digested wings come out of Dash's throat, her mind desensitized to the vomiting. She was more disgusted by the looks of pain on Dash's face and knowing that they'd likely be going through this every day until the eatoff if her training were to be implemented to its fullest.

"It's for your own good, you two...", she thought to herself as she watched nature run through the pegasus again until finally the last wave of bile erupted from her mouth and allowed her to take a deep breath and wipe her mouth off on her hoof.

_"Urgh...urp!_ Ugh... that feels better...", she panted, looking tearfully at her sweetheart, now wearing her meal on his bare chest, "Josh I'm so-"

But the boy cut her off with a grin. "Hey, how many humans can say they've had two pegasi ralph on them. heh heh.", he joked, eliciting a wavery smile from the mare, "You emptied out?"

She shook her head sadly. "No... but I should be good until Applejack's done...", she replied and gagged before turning to her cowpony friend, "You almost..._ Ulp.._ done, AJ?"

"Just... one... more... wing...", Applejack groaned, shakily bringing the last boneless sauce-covered wing to her mouth and popping it in, pursing closed her mouth until she could chew it up and swallow it all down, "Done... Gilda... for Celestia's sake, PLEASE open that bathroom up... I need to throw up and I need to throw up NOW!"

The gryffin shook her head and loosened the satchel on her neck before withdrawing the keys and walking to the doorway to the toilet. "You two have a long way to go, but you've made a pretty impressive start... go ahead and puke your guts out."

The avian had BARELY unlocked the door and gotten out of the way before Applejack and Rainbow Dash barrelled past her, covering their bile-filled mouths and collapsing onto the toilet before pouring what was left in their stomaches into the water-filled porcelain god. Trying to block out the vile sounds of the two ponies hurling, Gilda turned to Josh and gave him a look of impression.

"That was actually pretty cool of you to let Dash puke on you like that.", she admitted, "None of that acid even bothered your injury?"

Josh shook his head before reaching into one of the empty pizza boxes and pulling out a few napkins to attempt to clean some of Dash's dinner off. "Nah, most of it just got on my chest... But when they get done puking, can we end the training for today? I think they both need a nice long rest..."

"Yeah...", Meowth winced, pushing away his half-eaten pizza. After what he'd seen, he'd lost his appetite completely, "Plus, I wanna get outta here an' hit da shower... I need ta take a nice long bath after seeing all dis..."

"Fine, fine...", Gilda relented, "I'll take them back to the cowponys farm..."

"Actually..."

Josh looked towards the bathroom where he could see Rainbow Dash and Applejack still violently puking.

"Can you leave Dashie here... After what happened last night, it may be better if I'm by her side..."

* * *

><p>A few hours had passed since Gilda, Meowth, and Applejack had left the hospital room, the former two having to help the cowpony stagger out due to her nausea. The gryffin had let the nurse know about Dash and AJ being sick and a couple ponies had since come in and given Josh and the beddings a good cleaning before putting the two pegasi to bed. The only reason they didn't get angry at Josh for causing all the hassle was that they had seen the severe damage to his skull and considered it nothing short of a miracle that the teen was still alive.<p>

But even now as Dash laid by his side, his hand idly brushing her mane as she slept off the remaining throes of nausea, Josh was far from being tired... even in the dark of the room, his lovers serene snoring ringing in his ears, all he could think about was one thing...

That look in Champagnes face before he'd bashed him with that bottle...

He'd never seen anything like it... it was as if there was no soul inside the pony... no remorse.

He wouldn't stop until Ponyville was destroyed... and he'd almost been the cause of his own demise...

"I have to help them... I have to make sure Ponyville is safe... I won't lose my home again...", he thought to himself as he laid there, looking idly up at the ceiling.

Yet even he wasn't sure what he was dealing with... and the thought that this pony would gleefully allow the small town to fall to pieces at his hooves...

It was all too clear to the human that sleep would not be coming to him that night... and if they failed in stopping Champagne... he may never sleep soundly again...


	15. Different Kinds of Heat

A few days had passed since Gilda's pizza training and progress had been slow-going. The combination of Big Mac's exhausting physical training and Gilda's forced overeating had led to the same result each of the previous nights. Applejack and Rainbow Dash would find themselves rushing frantically to the nearby toilet to puke all the contents of their stomaches, although no longer were they forced to eat through the nausea, Joshua and Pinkie Pie had seen to that, threatening to turn the gryffin into pot roast if she tried a stunt like that again. As important as they knew helping Applejack and Rainbow Dash get prepared for the eatoff was, they were damned if they were gonna let Gilda borderline ABUSE them.

Josh had gotten out of the hospital, although now sporting a set of stitches on the back of his skull covered by his hair, and was ready to resume Dash's duties on the weather patrol. Although the request he was currently asking of Hammerhead was one that bewildered the pegasus to no extent.

"You want me to pair you again with HER?"

"Yes, I want to help Derpy on her rounds today.", Josh nodded in resolution.

"Look, I know you just got out of the hospital after getting your skull caved in, but are you sure you're not just delirious? It's DERPY HOOVES!"

"Thanks for reminding me of that, Hammerhead...", Josh muttered irritably, "Yes I'm sure. No one else wants to work with her and she's actually really nice. She deserves to have someone help her out on her rounds."

"You're outta your damn mind...", Hammerhead just grumbled, shaking his head back and forth.

"C'mon, doesn't Dash do the same kindness when she's on patrol?"

"Actually, she mostly lounges on the clouds sleeping or picking her snout."

At this, Josh couldn't help but cover his face with his hand in exasperation. "Apple Bloom told you about that, didn't she?"

"You mean her digging on the couch? Yeah, that filly told me. I told her it'd probably be best no one else knew."

"I'm gonna have to have a talk with her it seems...", he sighed, "Hell, I dunno why she told YOU of all ponies!"

"You know how fillies and foals can get. They find out a secret about somepony and they can't wait to spread the word. I had just gone to see how Rainbow Dash was doing and I ran into Apple Bloom in the front yard. She couldn't tell me fast enough how she'd seen that pegasus digging in her snout for gold... a very nice image to have after eating a big dinner..."

Josh sighed and shook his head. "Like I said, I'll have a talk with her. I appreciate you telling her to keep it quiet and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else..."

Hammerhead nodded in agreement. "I still think you're dragonshit insane to want to willingly team up with Derpy... you do know she's scheduled to head over to BurrBank today, right? They need a little extra rain for their peach crops."

"I read about that, yeah. That's near Meadow Viejo, ain't it?"

"About 1 town to the south, why?"

"Hammerhead, we both know the answer to that one..."

Immediately, the pegasus knew what he was getting at. Derpy had been the one who'd told him about Josh treating her to muffins after their job had completed and about him going after Champagne.

"I want to go back there... try and have a nice snack with Derpy again... plus I want to talk to Muffintop about maybe contributing a little of his inventory to Dash and AJ's training."

In resignation, Hammerhead called out for the googly-eyed pegasus and immediately found her floating in front of him.

"You called, sir?", she asked, giving an innocent smile.

"Derpy, you and Josh need to take another raincloud to BurrBank. Peaches has been complaining the peach trees there aren't growing fast enough... and I DON'T wanna have to hear her whining again!"

"You got it!", Derpy saluted, knocking herself in the head with her hoof, "Ow!"

"I'll take her to get the raincloud, don't worry...", Josh reassured their boss before nodding to the blonde pegasus and flying off with her in tow, leaving the brown flying mare looking on in pure dismay.

"Why didn't I listen to mom and become a dentist?"

* * *

><p>It had taken them all of an hour to take care of getting BurrBank their extra rain and now as they fluttered down into Meadow Viejo, Derpy could already taste those yummy doughy muffins.<p>

"Thank you! Thank you!", she gushed profusely to the human by her, "No one's ever been so nice to me and treated me to so many muffins!"

"It's nothin', Derpy... Really.", Josh replied as he landed on his sneakered soles and found himself and the blonde looking at the green-roofed Muffinporium once again. Opening the door and nodding for Derpy to get them a seat, Josh walked over to the countertop and was immediately greeted by the red unicorn they knew owned the establishment.

"Josh! Wunderbar!", MuffinTop chortled happily at seeing the human and pegasus again, "I'm so glad y-"

"Listen, let's not talk about that, ok? I actually wanna talk to you about something else... but first a nice dozen muffins for Derpy and that Red Velvet and cocoa for me... since I never got to actually taste the first one."

MuffinTop nodded and got to work as Josh took his seat at the table where Derpy Hooves was, the pegasus resting in the big pink armchair and leaving the human a red one. As the teen sat down, Derpy couldn't help but notice Josh drumming his fingers on the table, a look of worry on his face.

"Josh? Ya ok?", she asked. As clueless as she could be at times, even she could tell something was on the boys mind.

"Ya know, I don't know anymore... I've been electrocuted, burned, had my skull caved in, and on top of all that... I haven't slept in 5 days!"

"You tried just relaxing on a bed and shutting your eyes?", Derpy asked innocently.

"Yeah, it's kinda hard to do that when you keep thinking about the unicorns that nearly killed you..."

"You mean Champagne and Thoroughbred?"

Hearing MuffinTop's voice, Josh and Derpy turned and found the muffin-maker standing by them, a tray holding a basket of muffins and a stein of frothy cocoa resting on his back. Slowly, the unicorn used his magic to levitate the tray in front of them, allowing Derpy to eagerly tear into the basket. But Josh just took the stein and held it idly in his hand.

"MuffinTop... I've been in Equestria for a very short time and I've already seen Death twice... I've felt its cold uncaring breath on my cheeks... I felt it hanging in the forest and I could feel it when Champagne cracked me... I'm trying to impart wisdom from my world onto the ponies and I'm ending up trying just to SURVIVE!"

The teen's voice grew choked as he continued to speak, nodding for Muffintop to take a seat by them. By now several other patrons had put down their pastries and mugs too, all looking at Derpy and Josh.

"I wanna help Rainbow Dash and Applejack... I wanna show them my gratitude for taking me in... But when I saw Champagne's face... What I saw made me want to run far away..."

"W-what'd you see?", Derpy asked nervously, crumbs from the cranberry muffin in her mouth dropping onto the table.

Josh shook his head sadly. "I can't think about it anymore... not right now... I came here to talk about something else, not about some pity-story.", he spat.

"So what'd you want to talk about then?", an elderly green pony behind Derpy asked, straightening his glasses.

"MuffinTop... I want the stores help in the training... I know you make some of the best muffins here, second only to the Cakes. No offense."

"None taken.", the unicorn waved it off, getting a few chuckles from the crowd.

"I know you're also capable of making what Derpy's told me are called "MEGA-Muffins". Is this true?"

At this, the crowd of patrons gasped as MuffinTop put his hoof to his chin, resting his head upon it and closing his eyes in contemplation.

"This is true... my late sweet wife, Annabella... she helped me perfect the recipe of the Mega-Muffin. A confectionary big enough to feel Celestia's royal guards for months. But it's been so long since I've made them. I've been more focused on spreading the magic of my delicacies across equestria."

"Well if Champagne has his way... you may never get to bake another muffin... in fact I wouldn't be surprised if that... that... that BASTARD makes you bake only for him!"

At this, Derpy's mouth opened wide in horror, causing the half-chewed pumpkin muffin to pour from her mouth onto the table. But that was the standard reaction to the whole of the bakery. MuffinTop's eyes had lowered, his invisible eyebrows looking down at the table as his teeth began to grit.

"Joshua...", he growled, his voice unusually gruff, "I would rather cut off my limbs and horn and be a vegetable than ever serve him!"

"AMEN!" The crowd cheered, clapping their hooves in support.

"You want me to help Rainbow Dash and Applejack beat that creep? I'll do everything I can!"

With a shared grin, MuffinTop and Josh shook hand and hoof together and had a big hug, making Derpy and the crowd coo.

"Awwwwwww..", Derpy cooed with a smile.

"Now go on... enjoy your food you two! I've gotta go back and make sure I've got the ingredients for my beauties... I will not let that ARSCHLOCH take away my family's legacy!"

As MuffinTop stormed off behind the counter, Derpy gave the teen by her a look of sheer confusion. "Josh, what's that mean?"

Josh didn't reply, but merely lifted the stein to his lips. "Let's just say it's a pretty severe German vulgarity."

Calmly, the boy put his lips to the hot drink and poured the chocolate and cream down his throat. It tasted almost heavenly, like a rich mixture of cacao beans, milk, and fine cream. He'd slugged down half the stein down his throat before putting the cup back down and letting out a sigh of delight.

"That... was delicious!", he grinned, licking some of the excess cream off his lip, "Meowth would LOVE the cocoa here!"

Derpy giggled before pointing to the muffin by the stein. "Try the muffins! They're even better!"

Josh picked up the balled cake and brought it to his mouth, taking a nice chunk from the red and white delicacy, letting some of the crumbs and frosting drop onto his jacket and white T. It was even better than the hot cocoa, a confection that could rival that of any bakery in his world and almost as heavenly as Pinkie's Quad-Chocolate Cream Pies. He didn't waste any time before taking in another tear from the treat, savoring the sweet taste in his mouth and setting the remainder down.

"Mmmmmm... that hits the spot!"

Derpy gave him a warm smile before tucking back into her basket, Josh doing the same with the last bits of his treats. With food in his stomach, his mind was a little bit clearer. But he was still a little stressed over some of the thoughts in his mind and as they finished up and paid MuffinTop despite his insistence that Derpy's money was no good there, the wall-eyed pegasus could still sense a bit of sadness around him even as they took to the sky back to Cloudsdale to get their next assignment. The silence that rang between them was unnerving and it gave Derpy Hooves the shivers. As they approached the weather station and saw Hammerhead standing on the cloud with a clipboard in his hoof, their boss couldn't help but give a pleased grin at seeing the two return.

"Well I'll be Celestia's son... You two got it done!"

Josh gave Hammerhead a nod before he spoke. "Anything else, sir?"

The pegasus rubbed his hoof behind his head sheepishly. "To be honest I kinda thought that one would get screwed up somehow, so I didn't really schedule anything else for her."

"Yeah, that's really nice.", Josh muttered sarcastically, looking at Derpy and seeing her eyes droop, both of them actually focused downwards sadly, "That's a good way to build up confidence."

"So there's nuthin' else for me?", Derpy asked.

"Well... I do have an extra-hot sun that needs to go over Manehattan. Kyna and Cloudburst were supposed to take care of it, but they thought it'd be nice to sleep in... Think you two can take care of it?"

"You got it, boss!" Derpy chirped, brightening up immediately.

"We'll take care of it, sir.", Josh agreed, "Just tell us where it is."

"It's by the raincloud makers. You two get this done right and I'll let you knock off early. I've got nothing else for yas anyway."

"Thanks, sir. C'mon Derpy! Take me to the suns!"

Derpy didn't waste any time in leading Josh to where the weather factory manufactured the special suns. These were the kinds that were needed when the ordinary ones weren't good enough for a town and as the two looked upon the stack of hot orbs, they couldn't help but whistle.

"There are SO many hot jokes I could make right now.", Josh murmured before turning to the blonde pegasus by him, "So how do we pick these things up? I have the feeling if I tried to use my hands to pick it up, they'd get fried!"

"They would! I tried holding one with my butt once and it nearly burned my tail clean off!"

Josh just stared at her wide-eyed for a few moments before shaking his head. "Derpy Hooves, you are something else... What that is, I have no idea..."

The pegasus just grinned sheepishly before calling out to a bright red pegasus on the assembly line. "Hey Beam! Can you toss us some of the safety gloves?"

Immediately, Beam turned and picked up a couple sets of gloves with his teeth before tossing them outwards to Derpy, who managed to catch them somewhat effortlessly much to Josh's surprise.

"Rainbow Dash and I play catch at times with the boss's helmet.", she explained, offering one of the pairs to the human. It was then he noticed something about them that made him groan...

They were hoof-shaped.

He had expected this, but had hoped maybe they'd have some fingered ones for gryffins or even possibly manufactured some for him. They were big enough so that Josh could get his hand in by clenching it in a fist. But he knew that if he tried punching holes in it for his fingers, it'd make them all but useless not just to him, but to any other pony who needed them. Sighing, he turned to Derpy, who'd slipped the gloves on with no trouble.

"Shall we?"

"Sun time! Sun time!", she cheered, speeding over to the pile of suns with Josh in tow. She picked up the top orb of the pile, struggling under its weight until the teen helped her hold it up. The fact he couldn't get a firm grasp on it and had to hold it by pushing his fists together to clasp the side gave him more than a fair bit of worry.

"Let's just get this done with... how do we put this on Celestia's sun anyways?", he asked as the two of them began the short journey to Manehattan. They knew the big city was not more than a few miles away from Ponyvile and that was a fact that gave them both a little relief.

"From what Dash told me, it's basically positioning it in front of its rays to allow an amplification of the heat.", Depry replied, "That or the sun falls down and goes boom."

"Falls down and goes boom...", Josh repeated to himself, "What is going on in this place?"

Within a few more minutes, they had reached the apex of the center of the giant metropolis and immediately could see where the sun was hovering above the Manehattan National Bank.

"So basically we just put this in front of the main sun and that's all there is to it?", Josh asked as he followed where Derpy was pulling the giant heatball.

"Eeyup.", Derpy replied in a tone eerily similar to Big MacIntoshs. True to her word, it was a simple matter of setting it down and watching the ultraviolet rays turn a dark orange as they began to shine down up all the citizens of the big town.

"That... was almost insultingly easy...", Josh remarked, flying a few feet away with the fellow flyer and using his teeth to slip off the gloves on his fist before droping them in his jacket pocket, "Well... I'm gonna get these back to Beam, then I'm heading out. Ya got any plans?"

"Naw, I'm just gonna go to the library and check out the new Daring-Do book."

"Wait, you read?", Josh blurted out before covering his mouth with a blush.

"Yeah. Why would ya think I didn't? Well see yas later!"

With that, the pegasus sped off, narrowly missing crashing into the main sun and leaving Josh floating there and shaking his head in pure dismay.

"Derpy Hooves.. you and Pinkie Pie... you two are just... you're riddles... pure and simple riddles with answers I can't find..."


	16. Cider Inside 'er

Note: I know this chapter is pretty gross towards the end... but I don't regret writing it! This is my style and I am proud of it in every way possible!

* * *

><p>It had taken him very little time to get the gloves back to Beam and check out with Hammerhead, the pegasus in shock that they'd managed to pull off the job without Derpy burning herself again. The look they had shared showed Hammerhead that Josh had the same disbelief.<p>

He'd flown over Sweet Apple Acres and watched as Gilda and Big MacIntosh put Applejack and Rainbow Dash through their physical exercises in preparations for not just that days consuming, but in helping them build up their overall endurance. As soon as the two mare had seen Josh flying above them, they'd both given him a wave and shouted out to him happily, even though the boy coulldn't make out what they were shouting to him from his height. But just seeing them waving to him made him feel happy and watching Gilda bark at them to go back to their exercises left him feeling a little hurt.

They were going through so much for Ponyville... especially Rainbow Dash. He could tell from the way she'd been crying after each vomiting session that this was an unbearable feeling for her, even with her natural strength. He wanted to be able to do something for her, but he knew that Gilda and Big MacIntosh had them on a tight leash, althought they knew to keep within the boundaries of training and abuse, since if Josh, Twilight, or Pinkie Pie found out they were abusing their powers, they'd find themselves needing almost as much surgical work as Josh had needed, Josh even openly saying that "Not even Dr. Whooves most powerful magic would be able to completely heal the beating he would give them." The fact that he'd punched out a mirror in the hospital room as he said it gave even the brash Gilda a very clear indication that Joshua James Rocket was NOT an individual to be fucked with.

As he flew up towards the cloud castle he, Rainbow Dash, and Meowth called home, his mind was abuzz with thoughts of any way he could both help their training and maybe do a little something nice for his sweetheart, Dashie, at the same time. Maybe one of her diaries would give him some sort of hint. The pegasus had given him and Meowth express permission to go through private documents as she considered them family now.

But as he approached the cloud carrying their home, he found someone else had beat him up there... or rather two someones...

"Meowth? Spike?"

As he landed upon the cloud carrying their home, he saw that his Pokemon companion was entering the front door with Twilight's companion and loyal assistant, Spike, clutching his paw tightly. At hearing Josh's voice, they both turned and gave him a wave.

"Heyas, bud!"

"Hey, Meowth. Spike... what are you doing here?", the teen asked as he retracted his wings into his body, a feat that never ceased to amaze Spike or Meowth in the fact that he was able to do it through his jacket.

"Oh, Meowth and I were gonna check out one of Rainbow Dash's movies. She said we could before their overeating training."

"Ok, that I can understand... but the bigger question is... HOW'D YOU GET UP HERE? I thought only pegasi could walk on clouds... well and Meowth."

"Well...", Spike started to reply, but a sharp pain in his tummy cut him off, "Oogh... Ugh..."

"Spike?", Meowth asked in worry.

"Spike, you ok?"

Suddenly, they could see Spikes cheeks begin to bulge and immediately Meowth shirked away in panic.

"He's gonna spew!", he screamed, turning his head away.

Before Josh could do the same, Spike opened his mouth and...

**"Beeelcch!"**

A gout of green flame erupted from his mouth, shaping itself into the form of a scroll which the dragon weakly caught before rubbing his stomach.

"Ugh, that always hurts my tummy...", he groaned before he held the scroll out, "I think this may be for you."

As Josh slowly crept forward and took the scroll from Spike's claw, him and Meowth couldn't stop looking at the dragon in pure shock.

"What the hell was that?", Josh blurted out wide-eyed, "How'd you do that?"

"Urgh... whenever Princess Celestia wants to send Twilight or somepony a scroll, she sends it through Dragon mail... which consists of it coming out of my stomach in a belch of fire."

"How does that not make you sick?", Meowth asked, still a little creeped out.

"Actually the first few times she did it, I did throw up. It took a while for my gag reflex to steady itself."

Wincing, Josh slowly opened the scroll and examined its message, imagining the princesses voice narrating its words to him.

_Dear Joshua,_

_I heard Meowth was going to have Spike join him in Cloudsdale for a movie and knew he'd need some assistance staying on the clouds. I set up a small safety barrier around Rainbow Dash's house that will allow Spike or anyone else to walk upon the clouds as long as they stay within 10 feet of where the house lies. I obviously don't need to have the barrier work inside Rainbow Dash's apartment since that is all solid matter. Plus this way it would be a lot simplier then having to give every unicorn and earth pony wings just to fly to Rainbow Dash's house._

_Signed,_

_Princess Celestia_

All Josh could do was just shake his head in pure disbelief as he rolled the scroll back up and looked at the two creatures before him.

"Why do I even QUESTION things here anymore?", he muttered to himself before heading through the open front door with Meowth and Spike on his heels, "Ok, Meowth can you show Spike to the living room... I'm heading to the bedroom to do a little thinking."

The cat-pokemon nodded astutely before turning to the green-spined dragon. "C'mon. I know where Dash keeps the good movies!".

"Lead the way, catboy, lead the way!", Spike grinned, earning a cold look from Meowth.

"Call me that again and I WILL drop you off the cloud.", he whispered darkly as he led the dragon into the living room to find a good movie for them to check out. Puffing out a sigh of air upwards, Josh made his way upstairs and opened the door to the bedroom that he hadn't been in for days, a hospital bed being his resting area... if he'd been able to sleep that is. Looking around the cloud-motif wall of the room, he quickly found himself looking at a silver box resting on a wooden shelf right above the small TV at the foot of their bed. He didn't know what was compelling him towards the ornate box, but it was almost as if he could hear it call his name.

_Joshua... Open me... Open me..._

Walking towards the box and picking it up, he sat back down on the large bed and used his thumbs to pop open the top, revealing a white leather-brown book bearing in gold-studded letters..

**The Diary of Rainbow Dash, Future Wonderbolt**

"Heh heh, that's my Dash. Everything to do with that Wonderbolt group.", he sighed.

It was then he noticed the lock on the tome was undone, as if the cyan keeper had forgotten to refasten it after her last entry. Maybe it was a sign that an answer could be found inside.

"She DID say I could look through whatever she had...", he thought to himself as he unfastened the loose clasp and opened the journal. Prying it open, he found himself immediately reading the entry listed at the top... one assigned to a few weeks before he'd entered Ponyville.

_June 12..._

_I am so annoyed right now! Every single time Applejack and her family make another batch of that delicious creamy cider... Pinkie Pie buys so much that by the time I get to the front, there's none left! Does that pony NEED any more sugar?_

_I really like hanging out with her, but this is getting on my nerves..._

_Everytime they run out, I wind up flying back here thirsty and sad. I can't remember the last time that yummy liquid went down my gullet._

_But the worst part was when I found out what kind of sleep Pinkie Pie had from all that cider..._

_She-_

What he read next in the journal made him do a double-take, nearly dropping the book in shock. He closed the book and opened it again, as if expecting the words to change themselves. But no matter how many times he looked at it, the passage read the same.

"Holy shit...", he thought, closing the book and setting it on the bed beside him, "I knew she loved that cider, I could tell from how she chugged it down during the training, even if it DID come back up... but... wow..."

Suddenly, the gears in his head began to turn as he began to realize what he could do to not only help Rainbow Dash get more training in, but to allow her a chance to live out a fantasy...

But it would require a lot of convincing from Gilda and the Apple family...

Gently, he placed the book back into the silver box and put the container back on the shelf before walking out of the bedroom with a slight whistle. He'd gotten all the info he needed.

As he walked down the stairs, he couldn't help but gaze into the living room where the two youth were laughing happily at a cartoon movie on the tv. He didn't know what compelled him to do it, but Josh walked into the room and tapped Meowth on his shoulder.

"Um... mind if I join ya for a few minutes?"

The cat-pokemon smiled and nodded, allowing the teen to pick him up and rest him on his lap, the three of them just relaxing with a good comedy movie, oblivious at least for a few minutes to all the worries of the world.

As he sat there, running his hand along the back of the cat-pokemon's ear and making him purr he knew that while it would soon be time for any remote shred of what he had originally imagined Ponyville to be like to be destroyed...

For now... it was just a time to be a kid again...

* * *

><p>"Ugh... Applejack, this is borderline torture!"<p>

Rainbow Dash groaned as she and the cowpony rested on the big green couch in the Apple family living room. The two equine had been through sheer Hell at the hands of Big MacIntosh and Gilda Clawden, their already worn-out bodies being put through enough jumping jacks, hindhoof squats, and push-ups to give any normal muscle pony cardiac arrest. If it weren't for the both of them already having enhanced physical endurance, they knew they'd be resting on a stone slab right about now.

"Ah know, Dash... I'm more exhausted than a-", Applejack started to say, but the pegasus cut her off.

"AJ, you're my best friend... but if you give off one more western metaphor, I swear I'll puke!", she muttered, "and I've already done enough of that this week... let alone what'll go on from here on out!"

"Ok, ok!", She nodded, "But I'm still mighty exhausted. I woulda neva' thought me, a rodeo champion and Applebucking pro, would find myself on the verge of collapsin'!"

Rainbow Dash just sighed and let her head fall back with a groan. "Cloud Duty is sounding better and better each day, I swear..."

But back in the kitchen, Gilda Clawden was busy trying to cook up the days edibles with Granny Smith, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, all the while the other ponies fetched more supplies with Twilight Sparkle even going to Gilda's home in Gryffindale to pick up some special ingredients only located in her lands. While ponies weren't exactly common there, Gilda'd been "kind" enough to send Twilight with a medal from one of the gryffin's prize-fighting tournament wins as a way to identify her as one of Gilda's allies and keep her safe.

Fluttershy was busy helping Rarity with preparing a couple exotic salads, having let Meowth take a few days off to hang with Spike and sleep in. She'd felt bad about all that Meowth was enduring in his attempts to help her, the chickens still choosing to peck at his paws than at the feed and Angel Bunny inadvertantly kicking a bucket of water right into his groin the day before. She felt even worse that she'd been unable to hide a loud laugh at seeing the look of surprise on his face as his knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor, holding himself. But a warm bubble bath and a pitcher of lemonade had helped Meowth's pain subside, as well as him being able to rest with an icepack between his legs.

As he watched the ponies doing their cookery work from the window of the back doorway, Josh took a few breaths before opening the threshold and calling out.

"Hey Gilda? Granny Smith? Could I talk to you two?"

Looking at each other puzzled, the gryffin and pony followed the human outside, Granny Smith shutting the door behind her.

"What's going on, dude?", Gilda asked, "We're in the middle of preparing their courses!"

"Look, Gilda... Granny Smith... I wanted to pitch to you guys an idea for today's second half. You've filled them both up with solid foods, right?"

"What do you think we've been filling them with?", Granny Smith muttered irritably, "Wicker baskets and tree bark?"

"No no! I believe you, Granny Smith!", Josh reassured, putting his hands up in defense, "I was just asking if you've been mostly filling them with the kinds of foods that require forks and knives!"

"Yeah... why?"

"I'm wondering if tonight we can train them in consuming not solids, but liquids."

Seeing the looks of confusion on Gilda and Granny Smiths faces, Josh thought it wise to explain more.

"I was thinking since they are probably going to have to be drinking large amounts of water during the contest to wash down all the food that it may be smart to get their bodies and bladders capable of holding not just large amounts of edibles, but large amounts of drinkables as well."

"Go on, go on.", Gilda remarked, scratching her chin contemptlatively.

"Well, I know that the Apple family Cider is considered by a lot of the ponies here to be equal to drinking precious nectar from Canterlot, am I correct in that?"

"Awww, heh heh.", Granny Smith blushed, "I wouldn't say it's THAT good... but darn near close!"

"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.", Josh agreed, "From the way Rainbow Dash swigged down that mug, I could tell it was a prized delicacy here. Sorta like certain wines back where I'm from."

"You do know some of the bigger cities in equestria HAVE wines too, right?", Gilda added, "Canterlot alone makes fantastic Chardonnays!"

"At this point, I'm not surprised...", Josh murmured before continuing, "What I was thinking was maybe we could give them each like 5 of your biggest barrels of Cider and see how much they can drink before they have to... well..."

"Pee like a Wonderbolt?", Granny Smith offered, getting another wide-eyed look.

"Ok, seriously... now I'm starting to get more than a little alarmed. How are you ponies so nonchalant with these bodily functions?"

"Josh, you still have a lot to learn about Equestria... a LOT.", Gilda remarked, "But your idea seems good. Let's go with it!"

"Really?", Josh asked, "I was kinda expecting more of a resistance to it. I had a whole speech ready!"

"Why would you think that, child?", Granny Smith asked.

"I think I know.", the gryffin replied, "I'm a hard-ass. I would think how I've been barking at not just them, but you ponies in the kitchen had given some sort of indicator to that!"

"Yeah... and I even had threats planned... I wasn't really expecting an instant agreement!"

"Hey, it'd give that brainy unicorn more time to get supplies from Gryffindale... plus I'd get to watch them wet themselves! That'll be hilarious!"

"Watch it, birdo..", Granny Smith warned, "That's my grandaughter you're talking about!"

"Jeez, calm down Gramma!"

"Actually, I was hoping I could do Rainbow Dash's part of the liquid intake personally. I haven't gotten to really do one-on-one training with her at ALL! You two can monitor Applejack, but I'd like to help Dash alone."

"Ok...", Granny Smith and Gilda shrugged to each other before the former turned to Josh, "I'll have Big Mac fetch some barrels. Luckily we keep some extra in the cider cellar for the family and emergencies."

"Good, good. But just put some of the barrels in that spare hayloft. That's where me and Dash'll train."

"What about cowpony Jane?", Gilda asked.

"We can use Apple Bloom's bedroom. It wouldn't be the first time someone had an accident in that bed!"

At this, Gilda AND Josh found themselves sharing an uncomfortable wince.

"Granny Smith, don't ever tell anyone else that."

"Yeah, she's just a kid!"

"Look, do you want to do this drinking training thing or not?", the green pony asked with a tone of irritability in her voice.

"Yes, yes I do!", Josh insisted.

"Alright. I'll go have Big MacIntosh get some of the barrels into the hayloft and Bloom's bedroom. Gilda and Josh, you go let my granddaughter and that pegasus know what's going on. Got it?"

"Got it!"

But as she turned to head into the cellar, Granny Smith asked both the gryffin and human one more favor.

"Oh and if you two can, maybe you can get rid of that beehive in that giant apple tree by the hayloft. It's hanging there like an ugly black and yellow eyesore. I could have SWORN Celestia made it so none of them grow here... Something about a sensitivity to those with allergies."

It wouldn't be a strange thing to ask and normally, the two flyers wouldn't have given it a second thought... if Gilda hadn't remarked something to the teen.

"I would think a place like this would be completely rid of those things!"

"Yeah... and if my teachers were right, they're not usually dual-colored...", Josh replied before heading to the hayloft with Gilda right behind him. Almost immediately they found the tree in question, a large yellow orb hanging from one of it branches. But as Gilda and Josh looked intently at the ball, the same thought crossed through both their minds.

"That is way too yellow to be a natural hive..."

Cautiously, Gilda flew up to the orb and put her claws upon it... only to have her talons go right through the balls exterior and tearing open its center, revealing what appeared to be a makeshift camera and microphone... and immediately the creature knew what that meant.

"Oh Champagne, you cheating little scum...", she growled, tearing the remainder of the paper-maiche hive down and bringing the device to the ground, her claws clutched around the camera nearly tight enough to puncture the plastic covering.

As soon as Josh saw the camera in her claws, a dark scowl ebbed onto his face.

"That's Champagne's, ain't it?", he asked. Getting a sullen nod back from the gryffin, Josh took the machines from Gilda and walked over to where Big MacIntosh was bringing the last of the barrels of cider up from the cellar entrance. As the colt went to close the door with his hoof, he saw Josh put his hand up as if halting him at a duck crossing.

"Sumtin' wrong?", he asked.

Calmly, Josh popped open the battery case and, after pocketing the batteries and tape from the device, chucked the empty camera down the cellar stairs, listening with glee at the sound of it breaking as it bounced down the wooden planks and shattering into pieces. He watched as the fragments of the camera vanished into the shadows and gave Big MacIntosh a smile.

"Nope. Just disposing of some garbage.", he smiled as he closed the cellar doors for the colt and walked off humming with his hands in his jacket. Watching as the teen went off towards the hayloft, the large red stallion just shook his head and muttered to himself.

"Humans, still can't understand 'em."

* * *

><p>As she approached the big red barn the Apple family used as a hayloft, Rainbow Dash was feeling a mixture of relief at not having to eat until she puked that night and confusion at what Gilda had planned. All the gryffin told her was that she had set up private training exercises for her and Applejack in seperate locations and knowing what that devious avian was capable of just made the cyan pegasus even more nervous.<p>

"Private training, private training... what could it be?", she thought to herself as she trotted to the giant red building. Her girth had gotten to where flying became too much of an effort for her, leaving the blue mare earthbound for the time being. "What does that bird have in mind? More exercise? Pie-eating? Projectile vomiting? What?"

But as she pried open the large red-and-white doors, what she found herself looking at something that made an expression of sheer orgasmic joy spread upon her face...

"Sweet Celestia's crown...", she whispered tearfully as she gazed upon what was spread out before her. A stack of cider barrels, 10 in all, was piled in a pyramid, droplets of the sweet apple liquid inside spilling from the tops in honey-colored rivlets. Next to the stack was what appeared to be either an exact replica of her bed or the real damn thing, modeled to the exact details from the cloud-covered sheets to the sky-blue pillows. It was as if someone had moved her into the loft with an endless supply of her favorite beverage, just leaving her to her books and juices. The pegasus had to bite her lip to keep from shedding the tears of bliss that were dying to spill from her magenta orbs... "Gilda... did... did she really do this for me?"

A calm voice from behind the barrels gave her an answer. "Well it wasn't just her..."

As Dash watched in shock, a familiar figure stepped out from behind the stack, brushing off the wood chips and bits of hay from his jacket and hair. The bandages that had once covered his skull were gone, letting his black mane flow out in the breeze like puffs from a dandelion. Where there should have been a t-shirt was only his bare flesh, giving the pegasus a view of his hairless, smooth chest. He looked hotter than the surface of the sun...

"Josh?", Rainbow Dash quivered, "You did this? How?"

"I did some... co-ercing...", the human grinned, idly checking out his nails, "Got a duplicate of your bed from Mr. Breezy, had Granny Smith supply the barrels, got Gilda to agree to allow me to supervise your training mano-a-pono, then got the Apple family to allow me to use this hayloft as our training ground... no big deal."

"You did all this?", the pegasus gasped, "Why?"

Josh knew it was time to let the pony out of the stable, so he just sat on one of the barrels and rested his hands onto his lap. "I read your journal, Dash. Seriously, I found the lock broken... we may wanna see Twilight Sparkle or someone about getting it replaced. I know about... well... I know about your envy..."

"Wha... what are you talking about?", she asked, beads of sweat starting to form on her head out of pure anxiety at one of her secrets coming out.

Josh motioned for Rainbow Dash to come closer and cleared his throat before repeating what he'd read into her ear... in full.

_June 12..._

_I am so annoyed right now! Every single time Applejack and her family make another batch of that delicious creamy cider... Pinkie Pie buys so much that by the time I get to the front, there's none left! Does that pony NEED any more sugar?_

_I really like hanging out with her, but this is getting on my nerves..._

_Every time they run out, I wind up flying back here thirsty and sad. I can't remember the last time that yummy liquid went down my gullet._

_But the worst part was when I found out what kind of sleep Pinkie Pie had from all that cider..._

_She..._

Josh stopped and cleared his throat again before he continued to repeat to the shocked flyer what he'd read.

_She had drunk so much of the cider that when she woke up, her whole bed was covered in her juices. Pinkie Pie wet her whole bed!_

_She was able to shrug it off without so much as a tear... and everyone just laughed it off as if it was normal for anypony to have such an accident._

_I may have laughed, but inside... my heart hurt knowing I may never get that chance. I have to act so tough, yet I've got such an unusual desire... I wanna be the one whose laying in a puddle of my own urine... as weird as that sounds... I wish I knew how to explain it other than just getting a chance to lay down my guard and go back at least a little bit into my fillyhood!_

The two pegasus looked at each other, tears welling from Rainbow Dash's eyes, as Josh placed a hand gently on her wing.

"You must hate me...", Dash sniffled, trying to hide her embarrassement, "Finding out something that disgusting about me..."

"Rainbow Dash, I walked in on you picking your snout in your sleep. That didn't disgust me and neither does this!"

"You... saw me digging in my nostrils?", Rainbow Dash gasped.

"Apple Bloom AND I both did, she nearly got sick. She told Hammerhead, but I got them both to swear to secrecy not to tell anyone else... and considering I've got stitches in my skull, I think they both know I'm in no position to be screwed over..."

"How... how does none of that gross you out! You've let me barf on you, you saw me picking my nose, you know I wanna be able to wet my bed... yet NONE of that fazes you?"

Josh just rubbed his hand on the barrels side and blew out a gust of air, letting it lift up a tuft of hair before he spoke again. "Rainbow Dash, everyone saw my flesh burnt to a crisp and witnessed me get impaled on a TV camera... you think ANYTHING can gross me out! Besides... you're my sweetheart. I don't care if you pick your nose, your ears, even your flank! I love everything about you, strengths, flaws, and all! It's what lovers do..."

The cyan mare swallowed hard to keep herself from crying at hearing all this from the human. He knew about some of her most disgusting habits, one of her deepest secrets, and didn't even bat an eye... It was then she finally began to realize why she wanted that fantasy to come true...

"I... I just want to feel that sense of vulnerability... of inner security... the same I can feel around you. Picking my snout, wetting the bed... all things nearly any filly or pony can do without anyone so much as giving a second thought over than keeping them from handling food... yet I'm forced to act all tough 24/7. It's hard being the strong one and with you, I've been able to allow myself to show some of my sensitivity... Yet... I was scared if you found out about some of my habits... you'd wanna leave me..."

"Dash, I would never leave you... Hell, I'VE been the one left behind so much I could never bring myself to do it to anyone... especially somepony I loved. Someone whose got a heart as big as yours, willing to put themselves through this nightmare to try and save their friends home... you and Applejack, you both are epitomes of what it means to be pure and loyal... if more people in my world were as kind as you two, maybe it wouldn't be in such a state of disarray. But for now, all I can say, Dash... is welcome to my world... you're always gonna be in it and that makes this stranger very happy."

The lump in her throat overtook her and before Rainbow Dash knew what she was doing, she was crying harder than ever before. The tears were almost never-ending as Josh just held her, just like he had after those nightmares and the shaking in her body was just as bad as before, even as the human held her and stroked her mane gently.

"Shhhh...", he whispered, "C'mon, if Gilda hears you crying, she's gonna wonder why we haven't started yet..."

At this, a chuckle escaped from the pegasus' lips as she turned towards her lover, tears still welling and streaming down her cheeks as she held Josh's hands in her hoofs protectively. This was the one, the being she wanted to spend her life with... the one she knew she could trust implicably... the one that maybe someday, she'd even become a mommy with.

"Josh... I...", she started to say before Josh leaned down and placed his lips upon hers, giving the pegasus a warm kiss and lightly letting their tongues intertwine against each other. The human could still smell bits of stomach acid on her breath and even was able to taste a chunk of half-digested carrot that had gotten stuck between her teeth. Slowly, he used his own muscle to loosen it and lift the piece into his own mouth before breaking the kiss and spitting it into his hand. Admittedly, he'd never really liked the taste of carrots before and one that had been resting in a pegasus' tummy didn't help to improve his opinion.

"I'm guessin' you were a little sick earlier?"

The pegasus gave a sad nod. "I threw up after those exercises. He had us doing so many sit-ups my stomach couldn't handle it and I lost it in a bush. I thought I'd washed my mouth out completely..."

Josh just shook his head and held the pony close. "Don't worry about it... all the cider should help put a better taste in your mouth. So let's get started!"

Breaking the hug, Josh's eyes widened as he remembered he'd set aside a little something extra. "Before we begin, I picked up a little something from my world earlier today to help ya with the cider consumption!"

"Oh?", Rainbow Dash asked, raising an invisible eyebrow as the teen went to the haypile by the barrels and fetched a large box from the yellow straw depths, using his teeth to tear the tape of the top and revealing a set of steins and what looked to Dash like one of the soda squirters that she'd seen at some of the burger joints in the bigger cities in Equestria.

"I picked up some large steins from a restaurant near my home, as well as this little thing. It's an extract-dispenser!"

"An extract-dispenser?", Dash repeated curiously, "What the heck is an extract-dispenser?"

"Well it's a little device that can add shots of all sorts of flavors to any liquid, including cider! Normally, I wouldn't use something so primative, but Twilight's out at Gryffindale at Gilda's request-"

"Whoa! Wait up... Twilight Sparkle's in Gryffindale? Is she nuts?", Rainbow Dash said in alarm, knowing the rough-and-tumble reputation of the suburban area.

"Relax, relax. Gilda mentioned giving her some sort of medal signifying that she was one of her crew. Besides Gilda knows if anything were to happen to her that she'd find herself on a date with a meat grinder. So c'mon, why don't we get ya seated on the bed and filling your bladder with creamy cider so you can lay in your nectar."

Rainbow Dash couldn't help blush as she sat her big flanks on the bed and watched the teen take down one of the barrels and, setting it down on a large crate, set a tap against the edge of it and karate-chopping the tap just enough into the barrel to prevent the liquid inside from spilling out. Placing one of the mugs underneath the tap, Josh turned the faucet and let the honey-colored drinkable inside fill up the stein, Rainbow Dash drooling as she watched the liquid pour slowly into the glass receptacle. It was almost moving in slow-motion the way that ambrosia was spilling into the stein and all Dash could do was lick her salivating lips as the foam from the cider began to spill over the top, running down in amber rivulets down its sides signifying that not a drop more would fit into the large mug.

As gently as he could, Josh brought the mug over to the pegasus and placed it in her hooves, doing his best to make sure not a drop of it spilled. Dash took the full stein and gazed into the liquid inside. She'd only gotten to have a quick swig of it back during that training session, not even really getting the chance to TASTE the liquid, almost as if she was scared Applejack would take it away. But now it was just her and Josh with barrels of the cider and she was finally gonna get a chance to savor every drop.

Bringing the stein to her snout, Rainbow Dash took a deep sniff and let the aroma of apples and spices slowly fill her nostrils, murring to herself as she took in the heavenly scent. She was beginning to see why Pinkie Pie would always save up her bits for when the Apples sold their liquid. Gently, she brought the full mug to her lips and tilted the cup just so a little bit of the cider would go in, allowing her to savor the taste. She knew she had a stack of barrels full to enjoy, but the other mares had always said the first bite or drink of anything was always the most special... and for her, this was her first time getting to enjoy a private stash of one of her favorite drinks.

As the first bit of cider hit her tongue, she shivered in bliss at the tangy, creamy flavor and held the mouthful in her cheeks for a bit, letting the flavor seep almost into her very soul. Looking at the human with her, she saw him just sitting against the stack of barrels cross-legged and watching her with a warm smile. This was the first real enjoyable time they'd been able to share since the whole mess started without either of them being unconcious or recovering from massive regurgitation. She almost wanted to keep the mouthful in her cheeks forever, the taste was so blissful, but she knew she'd have to breathe soon and so she gulped the mouthful down, shutting her eyes in almost utopian pleasure. It was worth the wait just getting to enjoy this... what she had craved for so long...

"You like it, Dashie?", Josh asked calmly as he watched the pegasus slowly open her eyes and pour the rest of the stein slowly down her throat before licking off the froth from her lip.

"M...more please...", she shivered happily. Without wasting even a milisecond, Josh took the stein and refilled it to its brim before giving it back to the pegasus and allowing her to down the drink.

Every single swallow was like a party going down her throat with all of Equestria being invited, each gulp better than the last. It took less than a few steins for Rainbow Dash to start manually filling up the cups herself, swigging them down as fast as she could fill them. She even started using the dispenser device to add shots of vanilla, lemon, cherry, and chocolate! It made her feel like the drink was made only for her pallet alone and it felt great!

As he watched the pegasus consuming mug after mug, the barrels beginning to grow drained of their contents, the human noticed her already growing belly bulging with all the liquid she was downing and knew that soon her bladder would need to release. He was just waiting for her to give him a sign so he could get her tucked into bed and allow her to do her business. But at the same time, his thoughts were stuck back on that face he'd seen at the restaurant. His mom had always told him that a persons eyes were windows to the soul... and he'd assumed the same principle would hold true for ponies and dragons, especially after being able to see Twilight Sparkle's wisdom just through her lavender irises.

But when he and Champagne had locked eyes... Josh had seen nothing.

Just an empty black hole, devoid of compassion and warmth. He realized that Champagne could watch them all die and he wouldn't even have a second thought about spitting on the corpses. All he cared about was his own personal status as the alpha pony. But the worst part of it all... was the aura that came from him... one like he was looking at a pony that had been a part of some horrible deeds. He remembered Twilight Sparkle giving him some of those old reports on Champagne when he was resting in the hospital, Josh having requested to learn about the champions history so he knew what kind of monster they were up against.. and his attention had been caught by an article telling about how the mayor of Albaneigh was found dead days after last year's competition, a note by his hanging body saying that he couldn't handle the shame of losing his town to Champagne's glory. Yet the officer ponies who'd found his body had shared doubts that he'd actually written the note himself. The night he'd read up on that, he'd stayed awake thinking and trying to comprehend the possibly that... the mayor's death wasn't exactly suicide.

He reasoned to himself that it was just his brain recovering from the traumatic injury and eager to villify the one who'd nearly ended his life... yet deep down he'd wondered if maybe there was truth to the rumors..

The sound of Rainbow Dash trying to squeeze out one more drop of the liquid from the barrel's tap broke him from his thoughts he could see both that she'd drained nearly all the barrels of their contents and, from the way she was crossing her hindlegs, that her bladder was stretched to capacity.

"Ungh... Josh, I need to go... BAD!", she whimpered, "But I want more of that cider..."

The boy merely smiled and got up, leading the pegasus to the bed. "Well, let's let some of the cider out then... C'mon, I'll get ya nice and cozy."

Without a second's hesitance, Rainbow Dash climbed onto the mattress and let the human tuck her in as if he was putting a filly to sleep; tucking her in nice and tight, fluffing her piillow, even slipping off his jacket and climbing in next to her as a parent would to a scared child. He placed his hand on her stomach and could feel it gurgle and rumble, the liquid inside sloshing and filling her juice-maker and knew she was ready to pee.

Yet something was stopping the pegasus from just letting her bladder open... She was still nervous about giving in to her desire and wetting the bed. Josh could see she was straining and groaning, trying to get her liquid to come out and an idea came to his head as he pulled the pegasus close to him, wrapping an arm around her body and whispering in her ear.

"When you're flying... do ya ever take the time to stop and just admire the rain?"

A gentle smile began to spread on her face as the thoughts of rainclouds entered her mind.

"All the droplets of water coming down in buckets... filling up ponds and rivers with the teardrops of the sky, streams flowing across parks and forest floors, soaking the grassy fields and flowers iin their watery wake?"

Dash could feel her bladder beginning to weaken and she rested her libia on the mattress in anticipation for her golden release.

"All that water just flowing down mountaintops and hillsides, making nice... big... puddles..."

Imagining all that water rushing down mountaintops was all the pegasus needed and, with a contented sigh, she pressed her moistness down and let out the yellow river inside her. The sharp chemical aroma of pegasus urine filled the air as Rainbow Dash began to wet the bed, coating not just her bed, but her mate as well, in her honey. Droplets of her yellow nectar were even getting onto her rainbow tail, the warm sensation of resting in her own liquids filling the young pegasus' body with a sense of peace.. like she was able to shake off having to be the tough tomboyish mare all of Equestria knew for a little bit and just let her innocent side shine through. But as she scrounged her snout, sniffing and feeling its insides bothering her, she raised her hoof to her nose and gave the teen a look that he could read without any trouble.

"Go ahead, Dash.", he smiled, "Dig away. You've earned it."

With a grateful smile, Rainbow Dash placed her hoof in her nostril and started picking, a warm blissful smile on her face as she dug, her bladder having the best release it had ever had, her river soaking the bed though to its springs. As he watched as the pegasus dug for gold in her snout to clear what was inside, Josh began to realize why it meant so much for the pegasus to be able to just have an accident in her bed and be able to pick her snout without a worry... She prided herself on keeping up a reputation of being the perfect pegasus; athletic, clever, kind... yet it left her craving to be able to let her lazier qualities come out from time to time. It was like the old saying...

"Even the strongest heart needs to cry from time to time."

As happy as Dash felt when she was doing her flips and slick moves in the air, practicing for the Wonderbolts and showing off for the ponies... just being able to make a mess of herself gave her a different kind of peace. While she knew she would have to revert back into her rugged tomboyish persona tomorrow in preparation for the days training, for now... she was just able to give in to her more childish desires and fill herself with a different kind of peace.

In fact, since her and Josh had become a couple, she found herself having an easier time letting down her guard to where her sensitivity could rival that of Fluttershy... and as she laid there, digging in her snout and letting her cutie mark get soaked with her yellow spray...

She felt lighter than air...

But she wasn't the only one...

Holding Dash in his arms as she finally pulled out a big booger and wiped it on the side of the bed with a sheepish grin and rested his head near her mane, Josh felt his heart blossom. Ever since he'd entered Equestria, his life was beginning to change... and even with some of the hardships he'd gone through... he was having one hell of a time... he was beginning to feel like he had a family again...

Which made his thoughts about Champagne all the more troubling. He hadn't even told anyone about the device him and Gilda had found earlier and he'd put the tape and batteries he'd found underneath Meowth's small bed... yet he still didn't know how much of their training and conversations Champagne had caught on tape. Tomorrow, he'd ask Gilda if she could go and help him find out what Champagne had heard... but for now...

For the first time in almost a week... he was beginning to feel sleepy... and as he looked into Rainbow Dash's magenta eyes, the pegasus giving him a playful smile and a yawn from the cider-induced drowsiness as he tussled her mane...

He realized the worrying could wait for one night... for now... it was all about him and Rainbow Dash in one bed in each others embrace...

An embrace he would never let anyone break...

And as the last of Rainbow Dash's honey covered their bed, soaking them both in her warm juices... they both let their eyes shut and let their dreams take them into another plane of existence... where there was no Champagne, no hardships, no nothing... just Rainbow Dash, Joshua, and all their friends...


	17. Secrets in the Wings

At the same time Josh was prepping up his special training for him and Dash, a similar training session was taking place inside Apple Bloom's bedroom... or at least Gilda was trying to have it take place...

"How do ah know you haven't tried to do something to mah family's cider?", Applejack asked indiginantly, crossing her forehooves across her chest with a huff, "Ah STILL don't know if I trust you after you made me EAT through my own damn puke!"

"I thought you understood I was doing that for your own good!", Gilda protested, clutching at her feathers in frustration. She'd been arguing with the apple-farmer for nearly a half-hour now about the same thing... a refusal to drink up her family's cider to the point where she had to wet herself! It wasn't even the drinking part that she was angry at... it was being left alone with Gilda, a gryffin she wasn't even REMOTELY fond of after being forced to nearly consume her own vomit at her claws.

"Do you know how sick ah got after you made us eat all that pizza the other day! AH THREW UP ON ONE OF THE NURSES! How do I explain THAT to Apple Bloom next time she goes in for a checkup!"

"AJ, aren't there like 10 different nurses there? How would they know you threw up on one of them?"

"Gilda, the damn nurse ran out of the room with my dinner on her mane, screaming "OH MY GOD, APPLEJACK JUST RALPHED ON ME!". I think EVERY nurse knows it by now!"

"So I'll go to the hospital and get them to not tell anyone! Don't they have a patient confidentiality thingy anyways?"

"I DON'T tink it matters when the whole dang hospital hears one nurse screaming your name in bloody murder!"

"I doubt it was THAT bad, Apples!", the Gryffin groaned to herself, "C'mon, I told you all back at the hospital if I wanted to hurt your chances in this contest, I woulda done it already!"

"Answer me this, Gilda...", Applejack snarled, hopping off the bed and walking towards the avian-creature, "Why ARE you helping us? I don't believe you're just doing it because this Champagne-fella bumped your wing... what, do ya have some sort of bet on this eatoff?"

"No! No, I don't have ANY bet!", Gilda growled, backing away from the pony approaching her.

"Admit it, Gilda... you're just using Dash and I to give yourself laughter as we suffer! Admit it!". Applejack didn't know where this anger in her was coming from, but it felt so right. She'd been put through Hell underneath her, Twilight's, and Big Mac's exercises and she was finally getting a chance to tear one of them a new hole one-on-one.

"I'm NOT! I swear I'm not!", Gilda insisted, getting noticeably more agitated at the pony coming closer to her.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US? MAKING US EAT THROUGH OUR PUKE, DRINK UNTIL WE PEE OURSELVES! WHY? WHY?"

**"Krack!"**

Before Gilda knew what she was doing, she'd thrown her fist back and punched a hole right through the center of one of the barrels of cider, causing half of its contents to come pouring out onto the bedroom floor, much to Applejack's shock. The gryffin's head was down so the apple-farmer couldn't see the unusual look of pain in her eyes.

"It didn't start out like this Applejack... I had come to help originally just out of spite for Champagne and yes, maybe to have some laughs watching you two suffer through this rigorous training... but now... I know things about him... not just about him, but some of his friends... he's a bad pony, a very bad pony. I remembered hearing about him back at the restaurant, but I couldn't remember where... Last night I found out..."

* * *

><p>*The night before*<p>

_"I'm somewhat of an insomniac thanks to my training sessions for the GFC, so I found myself up at midnight... so I decided to do some websurfing at Rainbow Dash's pad. I remembered that I still had a key to her castle, even after that party debacle."_

As Gilda entered the bedroom of her former classmate, she gazed around the room and admired the Wonderbolts wallpaper, as well as the sleeping form of Josh's cat-pokemon friend in the giant bed normally shared by the human and Rainbow Dash. She knew Josh was still in the hospital, Dr. Whooves having asked the teen to stay an extra day or two just so they could run some more brain scans and that Rainbow Dash was at Sweet Apple Acres sleeping off vomiting all over the bathroom floor from an excess of chicken wings. No matter how much vomit the gryffin saw, none of it fazed her in the least. The things she'd been witness to in her life all but desensitized her to nausea and fear, pitiful feelings like that now meaningless to her.

"Dash, what is it with you and the wonderbolts...", she asked herself as she wandered around towards where the Pegasus' computer rested. One of her hobbies when she wasn't in the ring, exercising, or practicing aerial manuveurs was going online to surf and try to find out things about her opponents, bits of info that she could use to try and play mind games with them to give her an advantage. Her only self-imposed rule was that she would never use anything too personal against her foes like death or rape. She considered that going far past strategy and into being a complete monster, so she preferred to stick to smaller things like arrest records, rumored affairs, even stories about them getting hammered. She once even took down an opponent after one punch by learning they had just gotten attacked by a bartender unicorn and now nursed a damaged jawline. But right now, her mind was focused not on any opponent she would find in the ring, but the opponent Dash and AJ were going to be facing in less than a week and a half's time and it was to her pleasure that she found the tower already lit to the machine, leaving her to just push in the button on the monitor and allowing the faint light of the screen to shine in her face as she took a seat in the swiveled chair the pegasus used to rest her flanks.

"C'mon, Champagne... let's see what happened after the restaurant...", she murmured to herself, using the mouse to click on the icon leading to the Equestria Wide Web. Typing in the link to the Rutherford Times website, she quickly found herself looking at an article with a headline that made her do a double-take.

_Celebrity praised as hero for stopping drunken human on live TV_

"That... that can't be right...", the gryffin whispered to herself as she clicked on it, "It has to be a mistake."

But as the article popped up, she quickly realized there was no error made at all. It was the same human she'd seen nearly die... and now he was being made to look like an attacker... As she read the article, she felt her feathers starting to stand on end.

_A world-renowned celebrity, known only as Champagne, was captured on a live broadcast defending a local Rutherford restaurant from a drunken, violent patron easily identified as Joshua James Rocket, 15, of Ponyville. Joshua, a human and alleged student of Princess Celestia, staggered into Bratwurst's Best Wurst on Tuesday afternoon and brandished a knife, threatening the eatery's cashier. The cashier, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Joshua appeared drunk and, when asked to leave the restaurant, brought out the weapon and threatened to "slit the faggot from ear to ear." Champagne, a well-known 10-time EWREC champion and member of the Black Thorn organization who happened to be giving an interview regarding his upcoming participation in the Equestrian-Wide Royal Eaters Competition, pulled the human away and tried to calm him down, but found the weapon pushed against his throat. Bravely, the unicorn subdued the human and knocked him unconcious against the table he was sitting at before throwing him out of the restaurant. "I was just doing my duty and protecting the citizens of Equestria.", was the only comment the always humble Champagne would give. He opted not to press charges, saying "his beating was punishment enough and that he hopes the human to find some peace.". Joshua, who later was revealed to be in league with miss Rainbow Dash and miss Applejack, ages withheld at the request of Celestia, is not expected to be arrested or charged with any crime, but could not be reached for comment. One can only wonder if Rainbow Dash or Applejack has become as unstable since the human's entrance into Equestria._

Gilda could only look in abject shock at what she was reading. It looked more akin to something out of a tabloid than legitimate news, but there it was in black and white...

"That... bastard...", she seethed, clenching a claw in anger. It was then another part of the article rang in her head...

"The Black Thorn... where have I heard that name?"

Typing in Black Thorn into the search engine produced another article, detailing about an incident involving a recent match she'd been involved in back on the circuit... a match she'd remembered winning, yet never got a cent in prize money for.

_Black Thorn involved in decision reversal of championship fight_

Gritting her teeth, she clicked on the article and began to read what popped up, her expression growing angrier and angrier with each word.

_It was discovered that a member of the Black Thorn organization, a local reformed mob group, was responsible for the tape showing Gilda Clawden's illegal moves on last Saturday's Featherweight Championship Fight. The gryffin had been declared the winner, but after a tape was produced revealing her using her claws to attempt to gouge out Manny Featherfield's eyes, she was stripped of the victory and forced to relinquish her title. Clawden, 19, vehemently denied attempting such a move even when shown the tape, claiming it to be doctored. But the officials were quick upon viewing it to award the Featherweight Title to Featherfield, 22. "All of the prize money that would have previously been awarded to Miss Clawden will instead go towards Mr. Featherfield's hospital bills.", a member of the GFC staff told us on condition of anonymity due to the circumstances regarding the incident, "She should consider herself lucky having her title stripped is all the punishment she'll recieve. Considering that this is a first-time offense, we feel that suspension and expulsion are not necessary actions to be taken at this time." The pony from Black Thorn has not had their identity revealed to the public, also on account of the circumstances regarding the tape._

"Black Thorn... those bastards...", the gryffin growled as she shut off the computer monitor. She couldn't look at any more articles, it was making her blood boil so much.. "I hate you all... and I will make sure you are all exposed for the vermin you are..."

* * *

><p>Applejack could only look at the gryffin in shock at hearing all this. This Black Thorn group had helped Champagne make Josh look like a maniac after they were nearly responsible for his death... and they'd made a fool out of Gilda even worse than Pinkie Pie's party had!<p>

"The Black Thorn is an ugly group of ugly underground ponies...", the avian snorted in disdain, "They're known for dealing in everything shady and corrupt in this world, even though they claim to be reformed and law-abiding citizens. They kept asking me to throw fights so their toadie fighters can get extra money for them to rule Equestria with and would threaten me when I invariably refused... How Celestia hasn't been able to take them out is a mystery beyond me... I never knew Champagne was part of them and I guess my mind had tried to block out what I knew to allow me sanity... I went nuts when I found out I was having my prize money taken away, I needed that to pay off my rent... It was only out of compassion from my landpony I didn't end up on on the damn streets! After I found out about their involvement with Champagne and what they did to your friend... I had a new reason to help you... PAYBACK. It's not just about me anymore... it's about goddamn exposure!"

Finally Gilda lifted her face towards the apple-farmer and, for the first time in her life, Applejack could see Gilda's visage was struggling not to lose it's normally steadfast and stoic composition.

"Now do you see, Applejack? Now do you understand?"

The cowpony was mentally torn as she looked at Gilda. Part of her wanted to believe the bird was just trying another trick to catch them off-guard and gain false sympathy... yet another part of her could see the genuine despair in her eyes, knowing they'd almost cost her a place to live. She'd seen homeless ponies on the streets of some of the larger cities and the sights were absolutely heartbreaking, a couple times even bringing the cowpony to tears.

"If this is all true... why did Granny Smith say you were so calm about this here special exercise... why weren't ya'll more insistent?", she asked tentatively.

"You think I want to show weakness to Granny Smith? The mare's so old when she was a filly they didn't HAVE history in school... they had freaking current events! How would it look if a prizefighter like me lost it in front of Granny?"

Applejack tried to look annoyed at Gilda, but she couldn't help but snort back a laugh at the current events line. "Watch it, Gilda, that's my Granny Smith!"

Gilda sighed and sipped some of the spilled cider off her claw, although the way it was shaking made a good part of it get smeared around her lips. "Look... either way, I'm not sure if I'm gonna have to leave you guys before the contest in case I can do more research on them as well as prep up for my next fight. If that's the case, I just want to make sure you are all in good shape before I go so you can put that goddamn sicko in his place! You can believe me or not, Applejack, and honestly I don't care! I'm just trying to help you guys and get a little retribution on a creep at the same time... But I need to know... do you trust me now, AJ? Do you trust me now?"

As much as the cowpony wanted to ignore the bird's story as pure horsefeathers... something inside her wasn't letting her do that. The look in her eye, the shake in her voice, the uncharacteristically freaked out composure of the gryffin... they weren't things that could be faked... they were things that had to come from the heart... and as much as she hated to admit it...

She couldn't see any false logic in what Gilda Clawden had told her... she knew she had no other option...

"Gilda...", she whispered, getting the avian's attention, "You know how to set up a tap in those barrels right? Big MacIntosh showed Joshua earlier and I could have him show you too... I'm not sayin' I still fully trust ya... but... I don't quite t'ink yer faking this anymore."

Gilda nodded in understanding as she picked up the tap and stein resting on one of the barrels and fastened the faucet to allow her to pour Applejack a thick frothy glass of the Apple family's legendary drink. As soon as the mug was filled to its brim, she gave it to the cowpony without even a moment's hesitation. Raising the mug to her snout, Applejack took in a deep whiff of the liquid, the scent penetrating her nostrils, and sipped the drink. Finding it didn't try to come back up, she allowed herself to drink it down more easily and give the glass back to the bird to refill.

"I gotta ask t'ough.", Applejack queried, still trying to discern any break in Gilda's facade, "How do ya'll know Zecora? Whose this Cascade? How long have you BEEN in this GFC thing?"

Gilda just sighed as she gave the full glass back to the apple farmer. "AJ, I just showed you a chink in my mental armor... I am REALLY not up for answering any more questions... not right now...". It was then a second thought came to her mind and she leaned into Applejack preparing to take a sip from the glass. "If you tell ANYONE about my breakdown... you won't be having to worry about losing to Champagne... you'll be more concerned with learning how to talk through a wired jaw!"

Applejack gave the gryffin a small nod and drank down her second glass. As the blonde-maned pony took down mug after mug and stein after stein, the silence in the room began to grow uneasy. But as she watched AJ consuming the liquid, the gryffin found herself lost in thought, the crack in her stone gaze slowly spreading throughout her body. After three barrels, Applejack was able to pour herself the mugs and leave Gilda to her inner workings, the gryffin's mind swirling with troubled thoughts and not even idly watching Applejack pouring down stein upon stein of the liquid into her stomach could shake some of the troubled wonders coarsing through the gryffin's mind.

_"How many people actually saw and believed that false report... Does all of that town think that human's some sort of freak now? What else has Black Thorn helped Champagne do? I remember the stories... all those horrible stories of bribery, assault, even murder... and all their connections allowing them to do as they please... but are they all true? Is this Black Thorn responsible for Champagne holding onto his title for so long... all just so they can gain control of ponies lives?"_

The more she watched Applejack downing barrels, the more the gryffin found her resolve to make Champagne fall grow. He'd made that human he nearly killed look like a monster all just to keep up the pretense of him being holier-than-thou. It was time someone exposed him... and let the darkness in his heart be revealed.

By now, the cowpony was down to her last barrel and as full and sloshing as her stomach was, she felt like she was making a lot of progress, nausea not even remotely hitting her.

"Maybe Gilda's trainin's doin' what she planned!", she whispered as she put the tap in the last keg and began to pour herself a nice frothy mug, "Ah've put away 9 full barrels of cider and Ah'm not even queasy!"

But when she took her first sip of the mug and swallowed, a sharp acidic taste filled her throat, one that didn't suit the liquid at all.

"Ugh... ah think a bug or sometin' got into this batch...", she murmured as she cautiously took in another gulp. The second she swallowed it, a sharp stabbing pain hit her stomach and she dropped the mug to the ground, clutching her midsection.

"Urgh... Gilda, I'm not feeling so good..."

Looking at Applejack shaking in alarm, Gilda got up and made her way to the cowpony. "Dude, you looked just fine a second ago!"

"I FELT fine just a second-", the apple-farmer started to reply before she retched, covering her mouth violently with her hoof to the bird's alarm. She could feel her stomach instantly sending back up the cider, something in the batch not filling her with the usual sense of happiness the ponies would get from drinking the liquid, but instead the desire to evacuate the contents of her belly.

"Applejack, not on me!", Gilda squawked, backing away in fright, "Get to the bathroom!"

The cowpony nodded through her bulging cheeks and tried to find the doorway, but found her vision becoming a blur of colors instead. She almost lost her lunch on the bedroom floor right then and it was only through covering her mouth with BOTH of her hooves she was able to keep herself from launching a chunky wave along the wooden floorboards. Gilda could see Applejack would never make it to the toilet without spilling her guts and looking around, she found herself rushing towards the nearby bedroom window and flinging it open for the cowpony to spew out of.

"Just aim for the open space, AJ!", Gilda yelled, sheilding herself as if she was stuck in the trenches of a battlefield.

Pursing her lips closed, Applejack tried desperately to keep in the wave of contents that wanted to erupt from her stomach and filled her dodgeball-sized cheeks, unsure WHY she suddenly felt so awful! Her nostrils were flaring as she tried to breathe in the night air to soothe her stomach, but it was to no avail. The sudden throe of nausea that had consumed her was winning its vile battle and she knew she had to purge her lunch. Staggering her way to the open window, Applejack braced herself, leaning into the open air, opened her quaking mouth and...

**"BBBBLLLEARRRGGGGHHHHHHH!"**

A thick yellow and amber wave of puke found itself spraying out of the cowpony's mouth and snout and splattering outwards with the force of a fire hose. Gilda could only watch in shock as Applejack loudly threw up all the cider and the plates of mac and cheese and cupcakes she had snuck in as an afternoon snack.

"What the hell just happened?"

* * *

><p>Back in the hayloft, Josh was finally starting to get to sleep for the first time in nearly a week, the smell of his lover's honey and sweat next to him coaxing him into a warm slumber as he held his cyan sweetheart close, humming the same lullaby that he'd sang to her after that dream of her in the real world.<p>

"Hush now, quiet now, time to lay your sleepy head... hush now, quiet now... time to go to-"

**"BBBBLLLEARRRGGGGHHHHHHH!"**

Hearing the loud ugly sound of somepony tossing their apples woke both pegasi from the slumber they were just starting to fall into, Josh sitting straight up in the bed and Rainbow Dash's eyes shooting open in shock as she looked at the human before they both looked down at the urine-soaked sheets and realized in unison that the vomiting hadn't come from the rainbow-maned pegasus.

"Josh, what the heck was that?", the mare asked, placing her hoof onto Josh's hand in worry, "Was that AJ?"

"I don't know...", the teen muttered as he climbed out of the bed and slipped back on his jacket, "But I'm going to find out...".

"But what about your pants? They're soaked in my pee!"

Sighing, Josh lifted his hand and punched a hole in one of the remaining barrels of drink, allowing the cider inside to pour onto his pants, masking the faint scent of urine with the strong cidery aroma.

"I'll be back soon, Dashie. Just try to get some rest, ok?"

As she watched Josh head out the barn doors, Rainbow Dash rested her head back onto the moistened pillow and let her eyes shut... although she couldn't help but wonder what pony was busy giving a technicolor yawn...

Although she had a strong feeling she knew who it was...

* * *

><p>As he walked out of the hayloft, Josh couldn't help but stifle a small yawn. He'd finally been close to a good sleep for the first time in nearly a week and now his rest was being disturbed yet again.<p>

"For fucks sake...", he grumbled as he made his way to the big red and white building the Apples called home, "I'm finally getting a SLIVER of sleep in with my sweet Dash and now this... I helped her with a fantasy and I CAN'T EVEN GODDAMN ENJOY THE AFTERGLOW! This had better be-"

**"BLLUURRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!"**

Hearing the retching sound above him, Josh was BARELY able to backpedal in time to avoid being hit by a thick yellow spray of bile splattering all over the ground. Gasping in shock, he looked up and found himself looking upwards and seeing the faint form of Applejack tossing her apples into the night air. He could hear the rest of the Apple family coming out to examine the noise and the whole thing boggled him! What shocked him the most was the thick river of vomit that ran down the side of the wall outside the home leading from only a few inches below the window to Apple Blooms room. It took all of 20 seconds for Apple Bloom, Big MacIntosh, and Granny Smith to come outside and the sight in front of them all made them all wince.

"Good sweet heavens!", Apple Bloom spurted out at seeing the jets of bile spraying out her bedroom window, "What's going on up there?"

"It's like some damn horror movie!", Josh yelled, shielding his head and looking up towards where Applejack was throwing up, "Gilda, what in Celestia's name is goin' ON?"

"I don't know!", the gryffin shouted back, "One minute she's guzzling cider just fine and the next she's puking her guts out!"

"Gilda, I swear to all that is holy if you did something to that cider, I'll be serving roast gryffin to the ENTIRE town!", Granny Smith roared.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO-", Gilda started to shout back... before something in the puddle that had spilled out of Applejack's mug caught her eye. Easing her way over to the puddle, Gilda looked down and found herself staring at what looked like half of a small pink pill. With a wince, she gently picked up the tablet and examined it, her enhanced avian-vision allowing her to make out the microscopic black writing still faintly visible before she yelled out the window in between breaks of Applejack spewing her stomach.

"Any of you heard of something called Capicec?"

"That's a vomit-inducer for evacuating poisons, why?", Josh called back before turning to Big Mac and adding, "I learned a lot about medications back in the hospital... plus they have something similar back in my world.."

Gilda's expression darkness and she sullenly dropped the small pill out the window. "I just found this in Applejack's mug...", she called back.

Holding out his hands, Josh watched the pill drop into his palm and when he released what he was looking at, only one thought went both his and Gildas' minds

"Champagne... you fucking bastard...", he growled before turning to Granny Smith, "Can someone get me a mop and bucket while you all check on Applejack... me and Gilda will take care of cleaning off Applejack's breakfast from the house... As well as have a nice... long... talk."

* * *

><p>It took less than 5 minutes for a bucket of soapy water and a big wet mop to be produced as Apple Bloom, Big MacIntosh, and Granny Smith all helped get Applejack to bed while Gilda and Josh took up the task of cleaning off the smelly remains of Applejack's stomach off the side of the Apple family home. The silence that filled the air as they got to work was inpalpable, although one look in each others eyes made it clear that they were both thinking the same thing, a thought that was voiced out by Josh finally breaking the silence.<p>

"Gilda, correct me if I'm wrong... but don't you need a special note to be able to purchase Capicec due to its possibilty of abuse."

The gryffin nodded resolutely. "You need to either be some sort of doctor or con man to be able to pick it up, things which I am not... Sounds like you're thinking the same thing I am..."

"That somehow Champagne got someone to taint one of the barrels... Somehow I'm not surprised he'd resort to goddamn murder... especially after what he did to ME!", Josh seethed as he wiped at another splotch of Applejack's puke.

"Josh, you're not gonna like this... But I think we need to go to Champagne's mansion and try to find out how much he knows about our helping Applejack and Rainbow Dash train to kick his flanks!"

The teen just sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "It'll never end, will it Gilda? Even IF we're able to defeat Champagne, there's just gonna be more creeps like him and Thoroughbred... never able to just get a day of rest... Wether it's training for some competition or uncovering another part of Equestria's history or even trying to find out if my parents are still alive.. I'm never going to be able to rest.."

Gilda just lowered her head in remorse. Rainbow Dash had told her that Josh's family had disowned him after his parents had vanished under the belief he had killed them. She also knew Dash's past was a mystery, the pegasus rarely talking about her life before flight school. Even at Dash's young age, she was very tight-lipped about what her own mom and dad had been like or if they were even still IN Equestria. She couldn't help but wonder if that was one of the things that attracted them to each other.

"Josh look... at this point, I'm NOT gonna be able to stay here much longer... I want to find out what else Champagne and his friends have done... But before I go... I want to make sure Rainbow Dash and Applejack are ready to handle anything or any dish Champagne throws at them. For all we know, he could be trying to change the menu for the contest into things NO SANE PONY WOULD EVER EAT!"

Josh nodded sadly and kept wiping down the traces of vomit from beneath Apple Bloom's window. Gilda could tell the look in his eyes was one of exhaustion and sadness and she had an idea how to at least lift his spirits a little.

"I tell you what... you help me snoop on Champagne and I'll let Dash and AJ take tomorrow off of the training... give you a chance to just be with her."

"You'd... you'd do that?", Josh asked cautiously.

"Yeah! I'll give you two a day just to be together, no training or worries... you can sleep, eat, see a movie, whatever! I'll even throw in a couple extra bits for you both to go check out a movie and get a nice dinner afterwards!"

Even through the growing darkness, the smile of gratitude that Josh gave the gryffin glowed. "Thank you, Gilda."

"No sweat, dude... but we may need one other individual to help us out with our spying... someone with natural stealth and agility..."

"Who... did you have in mind?"

* * *

><p>"I still t'ink you two are nuts!"<p>

That was all Meowth could say as him, Gilda, and Josh flew in the night sky towards Seaddle where they knew Champagne's estate rested. Even though he'd been willing to accompany them on their misson of secrecy after hearing about Applejack being poisoned, the cat-pokemon was still in a state of disbelief that they would not only attempt to spy on Champagne, but that they would think he'd be of much help in pulling this off.

"You don't think I know that?", Josh muttered irritably, "I just want to be resting with my Dash... but Gilda's right, we need to see if Champagne's got anything else planned. He tried to kill me, he tried poisoning Applejack... what ELSE is he gonna try?"

Gilda didn't say anything as they flew side-by-side. She hadn't even told Josh about that news article she found, knowing if he discovered that Champagne had tried to make his death look warranted, either he would have attempted to take the unicorn's life or just gone back to his world permanently, leaving Rainbow Dash all alone.

But even as they approached the massive estate, the white fortress below them resting upon the grassy plains, Gilda's silence grew all the more frightening. She hadn't said a word since they'd left Dash and Josh's cloud castle and the fact that not even Meowth trying to rile her up had produced so much as a snarl terrified the cat-pokemon to no end. All the gryffin did as they flew was look down searching for Champagne's domicile and occasionally glance at the big satchel she wore around her neck and as they made their descent on an oak tree less than a few inches above the roof of the mansion, Meowth found his nerve finally starting to break.

"Gilda, will you say SOMETIN'? Fer Celestia's sake, an INSULT would break da tension at dis point! Make fun of my curled tail, my gold charm, my seasickness!"

"Meowth, you don't get seasick... do you?", Josh whispered back to his friend.

"I'm grasping at straws, Josh, just work with me...", Meowth pleaded.

Gilda didn't reply other than to open up her satchel and pull out a tape recorder, a 2x4, a small microphone, and a set of walkie-talkies before she finally broke her silence, her words coming soft and rushed as she gave the cat-pokemon all but a single walkie-talkie.

"Meowth, take the recorder, mic, and one of the walkies and place them in the vent right above Champagne's dining room... I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that he's in there gloating about trying to take Applejack out. There's a fan shielding the vent, but the 2x4 should block it and give you enough time to squeeze in without being sliced. Josh and I will make sure the 2x4 stays in place and I'll let you know when we've gotten all the info out of him we need. Then we can get outta here and go to the police with the confession... Got it?"

"I don't really have much of a choice, do I?", Meowth gulped as he took the equipment and prepped himself for his leap.

"Not unless you want to be dropped screaming into the fan itself.", the gryffin replied bitterly, "Just set the mic down when you get to where he is and the tape recorder will do the rest."

With a solemn nod, the cat-pokemon took his leap off the branch and landed on the rooftop before heading to a nearby ventilation pipe. Sure enough, he could see a large fan covering the entrance and he knew if he tried to go in without stopping the blades, he'd be reduced into cat food. Swallowing back the wave of nervousness and nausea threatening to come up his throat, Meowth carefully slid the large plank of wood into the fan and sure enough, the sharp spinning fan blades ground to a halt, jammed by the block of wood preventing them from making their deadly spin. Hearing Gilda and Josh coming from behind him, Meowth climbed into the opening now given by the fan and crawled through the shaft of the mansion. It was mercifully a big enough shaft that he could maneuver his way through without much discomfort. As the pipes went through the width of the giant mansion, Meowth found himself able to look through the narrow ventilation holes into each of Champagne's rooms, inwardly whistling to himself at the majesty of the unicorn's fancy domicile. There were rooms full of antiques, paintings, electronic equipment, all looking like they'd cost a hoof and a tail to own. The temptation for the cat-pokemon to break into one of the unguarded rooms and make off with a little something to help himself and Ponyville was strong, but he knew he was there for a special purpose, not to rob Champagne blind... even if inwardly he couldn't help but feel like he'd deserve to be burgled clean. But soon enough he found himself looking down through the narrow slits at Champagne sitting at a fancy dinner table and being attended to by, from what he could make out to be, a pony with shades, another unicorn with a blue coat and decked in a sharp black tuxedo, and a gryffin with a mustache that could have rivaled that of any villian on one of those old black-and-white cartoons Granny Smith had made him and the Cutie Mark Crusaders watch in an attempt to show the youngsters "Good-quality television!". None of them had made it through one picture before they'd all fallen asleep. Taking a deep breath, Meowth placed the mic down and pressed a button on the recorder, allowing the tape to start copying the dialouge in the room below.

"Sir, we just got word that Applejack has been incapacitated. Looks like those pills you got from Ponyville Urgent Care did the trick!"

_"Oh ho ho ho ho! Excellent! I knew Nurse Neighbourne and Elano wouldn't let us down!"_

"Unfortunately, it doesn't appear she got enough of a dose to take her out completely... A day of rest and she'll be back to normal..."

**"Zat is such a shame... such trash deserves to be shown their place..."**

_"I know, Gustav... Those two ponies are growing to be thorns in my side! Hell, if I could I'd just have Diegaldo put a bullet in their heads! I know that damn human is going to be even more on guard! If that gryffin hadn't been there with her potion, he'd be pushing up roses by now..."_

_**"At least you were able to get that report out that he was threatening the place, monsueir, that should help spread some panic and distrust and maybe even turn the town against him!"**_

_"But it's not enough, Buttle! We need to make sure not just Ponyville, but ALL of those challengers fail! Equinox would not be at all pleased if even one city was spared from the vines of Black Thorn! He wants all of Equestria under his thumb! That damn human... I know Celestia just brought him here to stop us! Teaching wisdom to a bunch of mouth-breathers, HAH!"_

**"Zat's Celestia for you, always thinking about trying to help ponies learn... Pitiful, really."**

"Er... if I may make a suggestion... why not just rig the contest itself?"

_"Explain..."_

"Well, why not make it so the dishes aren't consumable by anyone but you. We know you have nearly no gag reflex, Equinox's surgeons made almost certain of that!"

_"Continue, I'm liking where you're going with this!"_

"Well, some of the company has done research on dishes that no sane pony would ever be able to consume! While we can't replace all 10 dishes, we can make half of them more to your pleasure, heh heh."

_"Sabotage... I like it! What kinds of dishes did you have in mind?"_

"Casu Marzu, Balute eggs, Durian, Escamoles, even a liquid known only as Kumis... emphasis on that first part, gee hee!"

_"That sounds horrible... grotesque! I LOVE IT! Contact the EWREC chef at once, Buttle!"_

**_"But of course, sir... I'm sure he'll be more than willing to alter the menu to our... specifications, heh hee."_**

_"Of course he will! He knows where his bread is buttered and he wouldn't dare go against Equinox... Not unless he wants to end up like Mayor Hareris."_

**"Monsueir, if I may be zo bold as to be asking... what if Ponyville catches on and refuses to give up their town after you beat them, claiming that the dishes weren't edible?"**

_"Oh ho ho ho... You forget, Gustav... Mayor Hareris tried to resist our might and now he's resting with our deeds in a rotting grave! As far as anyone knows... that pathetic mule offed HIMSELF when I defeated his contestants like the coward he was! Ho ho that was a day I'll relish until the day I die... when I proved Black Thorn's strength! IT WAS GLORIOUS!"_

By now, Meowth felt himself wanting to be violently ill at hearing the cold uncaring tones of Champagne and his staff and from the tone in Gilda's voice crackling softly through the walkie talkie, she felt the same way...

_"That'll do Meowth... I can't listen to anymore... c'mon back..."_

"With pleasure...", he muttered as he picked up the mic and recorder and journeyed back through the vent and onto the roof, Gilda removing the block as soon as Meowth had climbed back out of the fan and allowing the blades to resume their spin. But the faces that greeted him were not happy in the slightest, Josh's face looking close to cracking, "Josh... I'm so-"

"Give Gilda the equipment and go back home, Meowth... just... go...", Josh replied sullenly, cutting off the cat-pokemon "We'll be there shortly..."

With a nod and a sniffle, Meowth gave Gilda the equipment back and Josh a tight hug before taking to the sky on his way back to Ponyville. As she watched the cat-pokemon disappear out of sight, she gave the teen next to her a look and saw his fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were close to breaking through his flesh.

"Josh?"

"How long have you known about this article Gilda... tell me...", he whispered.

"Just a day... I found out about it last night...", Gilda stammered. For the first time in her entire life, Gilda Dellarosa Clawden was afraid. The aura that surrounded him was one she could only describe as being pure anger, like he was a powder keg on the verge of an explosion.

"So all of Rutherford or whatever that damn town is thinks I'm some sort of a lunatic... even after they saw what happened..."

"I don't know how many of them actually believe that garbage... I mean... they all saw you on the news get killed."

"And yet, they still print shit on me... They still see it fit to degrade me... just like EPA did. They don't care... none of them do.."

"Josh, relax...", the gryffin said, trying to place a claw on Josh's back soothingly, only to have him push her away.

"I'll leave... I'm gonna pack up my things and head back home... I'm never going to escape the ridicule... I might as well just accept it..."

"Josh, don't say that! Look, I'm gonna head to Zecora's place in the Everfree Forest... she may know where I can pick up some of those foods they were talking about... There's no point in trying to take any of this to the police... they've probably got ponies or whatever working there ready to destroy any evidence against them... So we may as well beat them at their own game... Why don't you just get some rest w-"

"Do what you want, Clawden...", Josh growled, cutting off the gryffin, as he readied his wings to take to the sky, "I'm out... Fuck Champagne... Fuck Equestria... I know I'm not welcome here... I'm not welcome anywhere.."

Before she could say anything else, Josh leapt off the rooftop and took to the air, quickly vanishing out of sight. As she watched him leave, Gilda felt tears of anger welling up in her eyes. Anger at herself for leaving Ponyville in the first place, anger at Champagne for breaking Josh's spirit, anger at Josh for wanting to give up... Before she knew it, the tears had escaped her eyes and were running down her cheeks, matting the white feathers in their wake... and this time...

She didn't try to hide them. She let the tears come out, burying her face in her claws and letting out a few choked sobs before she cleared her throat and took to the skies herself on her way to the Everfree Forest... letting her tears fall for the first time in 19 years.

* * *

><p>As Josh landed back in front of the spare hayloft, he felt like he was taking the dead man's walk to the electric chair. He was prepared to say goodbye to Rainbow Dash and leave Equestria... but he knew the pegasus deserved at least a proper farewell... But his heart, his soul... it all hurt him to the core. He didn't know how many ponies in Equestria trusted him now... nor if any of them would want him there anymore after that report. He'd made a stop back at Dash's home and checked out the report for himself... when he'd seen what had been written not just about him, but about Dash and Applejack, his heart all but crumbled. He was nothing more than a joke now... he wouldn't be able to teach the ponies jackshit about friendship... in fact he was unsure the ponies would even CONSIDER him a friend anymore... He didn't even want to take his clothes or presents, not even bothering to turn off the screen after viewing the article. His whole body felt numb, like all his movements were pure automation...<p>

He'd even written a few notes before he left, one to Princess Celestia asking for her to transport him back home permanently and one to Rainbow Dash explaining why... he only hoped she was asleep so it'd be a lot easier to leave her.

But as he opened the barn doors, he knew he wouldn't be afforded such a luxury. A few lanterns illuminated the room and allowed him to see Rainbow Dash sitting up in the bed, rubbing her hooves anxiously.

"Josh? Are you ok?"

Josh just spat on the ground before he spoke. "Does it matter, Dash? Does it? It's best that I leave..."

"Leave? Why?", Rainbow Dash yelled, throwing off the covers and hovering in the air before zooming towards the human and getting so close in his face her snout was touching his, "What happened?"

Josh just sighed softly, "It doesn't matter... I just want to go..."

"Tell me!"

"Dash, don't push me...", he warned shirking underneath the flying pegasus and heading to the lanterns to dim them.

Tell me, Josh! I thought you loved me! Tell me what happened! It can't be THAT bad!"

That was all it took for all the anger, all the rage Josh had been suppressing that night to come out...

"Can't be that bad?", Josh spat before he roared and threw his fist into one of the empty barrels before picking it up and chucking it all the way to the other end of the barn, watching it shatter against the wall, "THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN THINKS I'M A GODDAMN PSYCHO! CHAMPAGNE USED HIS FUCKING CONNECTIONS TO GET A MAJOR NEWSPAPER TO SAY THAT HE SAVED THAT RESTAURANT WHEN I BECAME SOME DRUNKEN PSYCHOPATH! HE SAID THAT I WAS THREATENING TO SLIT SOME PONY FROM EAR TO EAR! HE'S GOT ALL THOSE PONIES BACKING UP HIS STORY AND MAKING ME OUT TO BE A FREAK! ALL I SOUGHT TO ESCAPE... ALL I THOUGHT I COULD GET AWAY FROM... IT'S ALL COME BACK TEN-FOLD! I'M NEVER GOING TO ESCAPE! I DON'T BELONG HERE... I DON'T BELONG IN MY OWN WORLD... I'M BETTER OFF GODDAMN DEAD! NOW TELL ME THAT IT CAN'T BE THAT FUCKING BAD! JUST TELL ME!"

Having spent all his energy in his rant, it was then that he felt an odd sensation beneath his snout and noticed Rainbow Dash looking at him in pure shock. Brushing his hand beneath his nose, he pulled it away to find it stained with blood. The stress and energy that had come out in his speech had broken a blood vessel in his nose and now tiny streams were pouring out of his sinuses.

"An' now I've got a bloody fucking nose... A BLOODY GODDAMN SNOUT!", he yelled, punching a hole in another barrel. By now his anger was at a feverish pitch and Rainbow Dash knew what she had to do to calm him down...

"JOSHUA JAMES ROCKET, CALM DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME!", she screamed as loud as she could. Miraculously, the bloodied teen actually turned towards her, his face crumpled as if on the verge of a total collapse and blood pouring out his nose and down his lips. Seeing she had his attention, she pointed with her forehoof for the teen to take a seat on their urine-coated bed, the scent of her golden honey faintly emanating from the sheets before she spoke.

"Josh before you came here, I just believed in striving for speed. My only goal was to become a member of the Wonderbolts! I didn't care about things like love... but ever since you showed up, I've realized there's more to life than just living fast and dying fast... I've learned you can love too... I didn't know how deep I felt until I saw you on that news report... when I saw you dead, I felt like my mind went numb... and when I saw you alive again... I felt happier than I'd ever felt before... Soarin' and Spitfire... they have nothing compared to the feelings I get when I'm with you... and I want those feelings to continue forever... I don't want you to ever leave, Josh... YOU CAN'T LEAVE! I NEED YOU HERE!"

Josh only stared at the pegasus in front of him for a few moments before he took out the letters in his jacket and looked at them, repeating to himself sullenly what he had written before turning back to Dash, his voice choked up.

"They're going to come after you two... they tried to kill Applejack and they're going to do the same to you too..."

Rainbow Dash wanted so dearly to be able to scream at that part and curse Champagne's name, but she forced herself to remain eerily calm for the human in front of her, knowing he needed her to remain docile for the moment. "Then let them... I'd rather die fighting than run... I know we can take them down... starting with this eatoff! I don't care how much barfing I have to go through, it'll all be worth it in the end... I know it will... especially with you by my side..."

"Why do you keep saying that?", Josh yelled back, "How can you trust me like that? How do you know I won't be like him!"

"Josh, what are you talking about?", Rainbow Dash asked, puzzled to what Josh was getting at.

The human pegasus sighed and placed in head in his hands before he spoke. "My mom always told me a person's eyes were windows to their soul.. and when I looked in Twilight Sparkle's eyes and saw her inner wisdom, I knew the same applied to ponies as well... But when I looked into Champagne's eyes... I saw nothing but my own reflection... There was no warmth, no compassion, no wholeness in him... just a vacant black hole... and seeing my image staring back at me... how do I know all I've seen... all I've been through... how do I know that's not going to turn me cold like him!"

"Josh, the fact you even HAVE those feelings gives you a step up on him! All we've seen proves Champagne is just a cold, empty shell. All he cares about is his own personal glory... just like Thoroughbred... But YOU... You literally gave your life trying to defend my name!"

"Well, isn't that what you do for someone you love?", Josh asked, getting a hoof placed on his shoulder in return.

"It's EXACTLY what you do...", Rainbow Dash whispered before pulling the teen in for a hug and rubbing his back gently, cooing to him just as he had for her when she had to barf up her lunch into Applejack's toilet after that nightmare.

Josh just rested his head on her foreleg gently for a few minutes, letting Rainbow Dash just rub him, before he finally spoke.

"How... how are you so perfect, Dash? You're kind, funny, cute, intelligent... you've the perfect package..."

At this, the pegasus couldn't help but chuckle. "I guess when you hang around eggheads like Twilight Sparkle long enough, you tend to pick up habits. But I bet if you got a good sleep, you'd feel a lot saner... I know you probably didn't sleep much in the hospital..."

"Dash, I didn't sleep at ALL... Every time I shut my damn eyes, all I could feel was the throbbing in my skull and all I could see was that cold, unfeeling glare..."

Rainbow Dash just sighed before she laid down on her stomach onto the urine-soaked bed and waved the teen on over.

"C'mon, rest between my flanks. They're big enough to provide a cushion for you and you can listen to my bellys rumbling."

"Dash, what the heck does that have to do with my insomnia..."

"Trust me, Josh... I know what I say... now lay your head down between my buttcheeks... they're waiting..."

"You're nuts, Dash...", Josh sighed before turning around and getting his head rested firmly between the warmth of her two giant cheeks. All the food and drink that had stayed down had helped to make her already big rump the size of two pumpkins, her rainbow tail looking more akin to the flag on a set of handlebars. He had to admit it was actually a very cozy pillow and the scent of urine and sweat still clung to her, filling him with a sense of comfort. As he listened close, he could hear the sloshing and rumbling of Rainbow Dashs tummy as it turned more of the cider and food that she'd managed to keep in her stomach into fat among other things... and he didn't know whether it was truly the sloshing sounds acting like a wave machine or his exhausted mind finally giving in...

But he had fallen asleep before he could even say another word...

And as Rainbow Dash looked behind at the human now resting on her rump, she gave a small sigh of relief and smiled.

"Good night, Joshua... sweet dreams.."

With that, she gave him a small gentle kiss and rested her own head onto the pillow, quickly joining him in dreamland...

All the while the two letters Josh had written lay in the dampness of the bed, the ink becoming runny and unreadable...

Not like he really needed them anymore...


	18. Saving Sunlight

Note: The song in the chapter is actually an original song I wrote called "I used..."

* * *

><p>As morning arose on the town of Ponyville, Rainbow Dash shifted around in her urine-soaked bed, careful not to jostle her sweetie resting on her rump... only to find that her butt felt lighter than it had the night before. Turning around, she found herself looking only at her bare blubbery flank, a folded note resting at the base of her rainbow tail. She knew who wrote it and her heart sank at the implications the note probably held, but she knew she had to see what it said and, reaching behind her, she grabbed the note with a hoof, sat up, and opened it before reading its scrawled message, the letters shaky and looking more akin to the Cutie Mark Crusaders attempts at writing a novel.<p>

_I'm Sorry Dash... I... I can't sleep... all I see is him... all I see is that stare... I'm no better than him... I love you Dash... but I can't be here... You deserve better than me anyways..._

_-J_

"Oh Joshua..."

Rainbow Dash could feel the tears coming to her eyes as she hugged the note close to her heart, feeling guilt at not having been able to keep her sweetheart in Equestria and sorrow at being alone again...

But little did she know...

The human wasn't gone.

* * *

><p>A cloud high above Rainbow Dash's castle was where Joshua had been seated for the past few hours. Sleep had been a total stranger to him, even buried in the warm and gentleness of Rainbow Dash's huge butt. All he'd been able to see every time he tried to dream or close his eyes was that horrible gleam in Champagne's olive-colored eyes, a gleam reading a willingness to destroy everything good in the world just for his own selfish games... and now that he knew he had apparently a whole organization behind him, that devilish shine grew all the more brighter.<p>

So all night, he'd resigned himself a variety of meaningless tasks leading up to him just to just sitting on that small patch of cumulus nimbus and looking up at the sky, his legs dangling off the edge, and counting the stars in the sky until the sun broke the darkness. His whole night had been one long trip through town and this was his last stop...

* * *

><p>The first thing he'd done was a little nighttime flying, soaring by other groups of pegasi all chattering and playing. But each time one of them had called out to the teen, he'd just continued on flying. He couldn't tell anymore who was going to yell at him or who would believe that he hadn't done what Champagne had said. Hours had passed before he'd flown up to the castle and written a note to Celestia to let him go back home for a few hours, having to go where Spike had fallen asleep after the movie and waking him up to deliver it, much to the dragon's annoyance. Meowth had left him a note saying he was spending the night with Fluttershy since he wasn't too sure the teen wanted to see him at the moment. The princess had been kind enough to give him a special magical amulet that would allow him to go home and back since he knew he'd be out late and he didn't want to disturb Celestia's slumber.<p>

It was late when he reappeared in the backyard of his family home and he knew the entire neighborhood was fast asleep now, so he'd just wandered through his hometown and done a little stargazing, even playing on the same playground Celestia had found him at. But as he'd swung on the child's swingset, he felt a pain in his heart, one threatening to come out through his eyes in hot salty streams. He'd been so close to finding a new home and now Champagne had all but demolished his reputation. Even if Rainbow Dash and Gilda had tried to reassure him that it was unlikely that anyone would believe that news article since they'd seen the live TV report, he knew that it wouldn't be hard for Champagne to get that report either doctored or destroyed.

Climbing off the swingset and climbing up onto the large spiral metal slide that he knew the kids loved playing on and getting stuck like sardines, he sat on the top and let himself lay backwards, closing his eyes as if hoping against hope that maybe here in his own world he'd be able to find slumber.

But every time he'd shut his eyes, all he could see was that same damn glare... and all he could hear was what Champagne had told him before bashing his head in with that hot sauce bottle... repeating over and over...

_"And I'll take a special pleasure in watching Rainbow Dash cry as her friends suffer..."_

The realization that he couldn't save them just kept him away from any remote chance of a peaceful nights rest and after about an hour, he'd given up and slid down the curved chute before leaving the park and wandering to a local bar known as J.J.'s.

He'd done a little work for the owner, a family friend and one of the few people who refused to believe Josh had been responsible for his parents disappearance, and since then had been told he was welcome there anytime for a game of pool or even a smoke, even if he was a little young to be hanging out with the usual crowd there.

Yet even in the loud boisterous atmosphere of the pub and even seated at the bar, a pack of smokes and a mug of root beer at his hands, relaxation was far away from Josh's senses. He'd even taken one of the cancer sticks and placed it in his mouth, but felt himself unable to gather the courage to light the cigarette and just placed it back in its small white box before placing the carton into his pocket and heading back out into the streets, taking another stick and twirling it in his fingers before walking into the alley behind the pub and whispering into the silver device around his neck and finding himself quickly back in Equestria, standing at the doorstep to Celestia and Luna's palace.

After giving the amulet back to one of the guards on duty, he'd taken back to the sky and flown off towards Ponyville, reaching the small town around 1 A.M.. A stroll through the darkened town had told him that everyone was fast asleep and a look around Sweet Apple Acres, the boutique, Fluttershy's cottage, the library, and even Sugarcube Corner had revealed to him that he was the only one still awake, albeit the cowpony resting with a bucket near her head and Pinkie Pie sleeping upside down.

* * *

><p>That was what had led him to where he was now and where he'd been for the past few hours, just looking up at the night sky. He'd counted the stars, ruffled his hands in the clouds softeness, and even managaed to light up one of the smokes and contemplated placing it into his lips for a few puffs, each time finding himself just setting the stick back down and twirling it absently in his hands. As he looked at the orange glow of the sun start to come into his line of his, he let out a sigh and began to reflect on all that was going on... singing to himself all the while.<p>

_I used to be beloved..._

_Everyone knew and called my name_

_I used to be a friend..._

_Now I sit here lost in shame..._

_I could remember how it all began.._

_A simple trip out to a land.._

_They said they'd come back soon_

_A smile on their lips.._

_Yet I never saw them again._

_Everyone says it was because of me_

_Ignoring all my pleas and cries_

_No matter what I would even say.._

_They all cast me aside..._

_I used to be beloved.._

_Everyone knew and called my name..._

_I used to be a friend..._

_Now I sit here lost in shame..._

_5 years passed since that day..._

_I thought I could start anew.._

_A new town, a new start, a new love..._

_I thought all my hurt was through..._

_Now I'm back at square one.. again..._

_Left sitting here all alone.._

_Just wandering the skies and streets.._

_Begging and looking for a place I can call home..._

_I used to be beloved.._

_Everyone knew and called my name.._

_I used to be a friend..._

_Now I sit here lost in shame..._

_Will I ever find my happiness again..._

_Will I ever find my sanctuary?_

_Will I ever find hope and faith in my heart..._

_Or will I forever be alone?_

_I used to be beloved.._

_Everyone knew and called my name..._

_I used to be... a friend..._

_Now I sit here... lost... in... shame..._

As his song ended, Josh wiped a few tears away from his eyes only to have the sound of weeping fill his ears... and to his amazement it wasn't him...

"That was beautiful, Josh..."

Turning around, Josh found himself face to face with the familiar pink-maned unicorn he knew as Fluttershy, her aquamarine eyes streaming with tears.

"Fluttershy? What are you doing here?", he asked cautiously.

The pegasus sniffled before she spoke, her voice shaky with the sobs still in her throat. "I-I've been trying to get some morning flying in since the night you took me up to Cloudsdale. I had so much fun that day..."

"Yeah, well I don't think we'll be having much more fun anytime soon... I'm leaving Equestria as soon as Celestia gets done with helping the sun rise.", Josh muttered, looking away from the pegasus solemnly

"What?", Fluttershy gasped in horror, "Why?"

"I've got no reason to be here anymore... Champagne all but destroyed my reputation. He's probably gotten that news report altered too just for his own amusement... I'm not gonna be allowed anywhere in Equestria by the time he's done. I might as well head home..."

"But what about you teaching us about friendship! What about the contest? What about Rainbow Dash!"

"None of those matter... If I stay here, I'd just make everything worse... I can't teach you ponies jackshit... and Rainbow Dash... there's so many ponies here that she deserves more than me... I'd just make her as much an outcast as I am."

"Josh, that's not true!"

"Face it, Shy...", he replied, calling her by the nickname he'd heard Rainbow Dash call her back at the hospital after she knocked out Thoroughbred, "It's time I leave... I don't belong here...". It was then Josh gave a hollow laugh as he remembered something he told Gilda back at the hospital. "I actually believed that nothing they could do would drive me away... Boy... was I fucking wrong..."

"But... But Josh..."

"Just go, Fluttershy... and tell Twilight and everyone... they don't need to worry anymore... the psycho's going back home. Promise me you'll tell them that."

Fluttershy's heart all but broke as she nodded, the tears pouring down her cheeks. She could tell from Josh's tone that his mind was made up. "I... I'll tell them...", she whimpered as she turned and flew back down, sobbing woefully and leaving Josh looking at her disappearing form sadly.

"Only an hour or so before she's done... Then I'll go home... I wont even bring Meowth with me... He can be a reminder to Fluttershy and everyone else... that I never belonged here... and I don't deserve happiness... Death and despair... those are the only companions I warrant..."

Josh sighed and cradled himself, burying his head in his knees. But his thoughts were cut off by a loud yell from behind him in the distance.

"LOOK OUT!"

Slowly getting to his feet, Josh turned and was only able to get out a few words before he was impacted...

"What the f-"

**"Bamf!"**

Immediately Josh found his head buried in between two gray chubby cheeks, a blonde tail resting in his eyes. The impact of the pony's rump colliding into him was so fierce it pushed his head against the ponies flankhole and started to deprive him of air.

"Mmmph! Mmmpphhhh!", he screamed as he tried to free himself and struggled desperately to breathe. Soon a clueless sounding voice rang out and told him instantly whose butt he was stuck in.

"Oops! Sorry about that, heh heh... I guess my iron butt CAN'T handle flying backwards.", Derpy Hooves blushed sheepishly as she wiggled her flanks and tried to loosen Joshs head.

"MMMMPHHH!", he yelled as he got his hands pushed against her cheeks and shoved himself backwards in an attempt to free himself... right at the same time Derpy shuffled her rumps orbs of flab. The momentum not only freed Josh from his bottom-made prison, but pushed him backwards off the cloud. He was only able to get out a sharp scream before Derpy managed to grab a hold of his leg and struggled to pull him back up. The pain of Derpy's hooves pressing into his still fragile tender legs was akin to someone taking a hacksaw to his crotch and he wanted nothing more than to pass out. "Oh god! KILL ME! PLEASE KILL ME!"

"HOLD ON, JOSH! Derpy's got ya!", she yelled as she slowly managed to pull the teen back up onto the patch of cumulus. As she fell onto her rump the second Josh was back safely resting on the cloud, the boy screamed painfully as he felt the burning sensation of Derpy pressing into his wounds slowly disappate. When the pain had finally subsided, he managed to brace himself on his palms and sit up, looking frantically at the pony sitting with him.

"Derpy? What the fuck were ya doing? You almost fucking killed me!"

"I.. I was trying to see if I could fly backwards.. I saw Rainbow Dash do it once..."

"Goddamn... I had the feeling you ponies wanted me gone, I'm just waiting for Celestia to rise the damn sun!"

"Woah, woah... hold on one second..", Derpy sputtered, closing her criss-crossed eyes. She may have been a little dim, but her bulb wasn't completely out. "Why? Because of that article?"

"Heh..", Josh laughed hallowly, "Even you know what they think I am now... A goddamn psycho. I was just defending Rainbow Dash and they make me out to be some sort of psychotic freak... It's just like my family... everything and everyone thinking I'm this horrible human being..."

"Your... family?", Derpy asked, scratching her head as Josh got up and stretched out his back.

"Suns about up... soon I'll be away from the ponies and their stares... I was never meant to be here..."

"Josh, running away isn't going to solve your problems.. believe me, I've tried!"

Josh couldn't help but look at the gray pegasus next to him in surprise. This was the first time he'd ever heard Derpy saying something with sagelike-clarity

"You think I don't hear the other ponies making fun of me for my eyes, my klutziness, my spaciness? I've heard their taunts and seen their stares... I even thought about running away myself! I even got a suitcase packed and boarded the first train I could see!"

"So what happened? How exactly did it fail?", Josh asked, resting a hand on his leg, careful to keep it gentle as to not aggravate his injury. Having Derpy press down on it didn't serve him any favors.

The pegasus sighed before she managed to somewhat focus her mismatched eyes on the teen before her and spoke..

"It happened like this..."

* * *

><p>*One year ago*<p>

_"I'd just boarded the 10:03 train going to the outskirts of Equestria and I didn't know what I was going to do... All I knew was that I couldn't take the pain... the stares and laughter of everyone making fun of me... I had to go far away... for myself..."_

As Derpy Hooves rested her chin on her hoof sadly, looking out her train window at the passing landscapes of the towns of Equestria, she tried to let her mind vanish into the recesses of her subconcious, the images of the rivers, mountains, and buildings flashing by failing to cover her sadness.

She'd just botched up a single cloud delivery, nothing major... yet Hammerhead had screamed at her...He'd called her worthless, a waste of skin, just downright pathetic. She'd flown off sobbing, unable to even hear Hammerhead trying desperately to apologize after he'd realized what he'd just said to her.

She hadn't even stopped to think, just wanting to get as far away from the yelling as possible. She'd always had a slight hypersensitivity and all the yelling overloaded her to where she had to escape.

That's what had led her to the train she was on. In the state she was in, she didn't care where she went or HOW she went there... she just knew she had to get away from Ponyville, from that yelling and anger.

**"Now stopping in Canterlot! All passengers for Canterlot, please get ready to depart!"**

Derpy paid no attention to the announcement. Canterlot was not far away enough for her, no she'd gotten her ticket stamped to take her to the far reaches of Equestria's outer limits, where no one could find her. As she felt the train come to a slow stop, she knew it'd be about a half-hour until the train took off again, on its pathway to nowhere.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even hear the calm voice speaking to her...

"Something troubling you, my dear?"

Derpy started to turn towards the voice to tell it she wasn't in the mood to talk... but then she realized who that voice belong to... Sitting in the empty seat next to her was a white alicorn, her multicolored mane flowing down her back and her magenta eyes shining with a motherly wisdom... They could only belong to one mare...

"Princess Celestia? What.. what are you doing here? Don't you have like a private chariot?"

Celestia gave Derpy a small nod before she spoke. "This I do, but every now and then I like to just take the train like everypony else... get to know all my subjects. I couldn't help but notice you gazing out the window like that and I get the feeling it's not just from a sudden interest in Canterlot architecture.

The blonde-haired mare gave a sad sigh before she spoke to the princess, her tone devoid of its usually bubbly tone that could have rivaled that of Pinkemina Diane Pie. "I just can't take it anymore... I know no one there in Ponyville likes me... Just because I'm different..."

"Different?", Celestia asked curiously.

"Yeah... my mismatched eyes, my clumsiness, my iron flanks... they say all it brings is disaster... and now Hammerhead... he's saying I'm worthless, that I'm a waste of flesh..."

Derpy's voice cracked as she remembered what the gruff pegasus had screamed at her and she sniffled back the tears wanting to spill as Celestia gently caressed her mane.

"Hammerhead's always had a slight anger problem... I'll have to have a heart-to-heart with him about decorum.", Celestia admitted, "But you shouldn't let what one pony says get to you.."

"It's not just him.. everypony else is always mocking me anyways, calling me Ditzy-Doo, Google-Eyes, Brainless Blonde... They think it doesn't effect me just because I try not to show a reaction... I always was told by my mom that ignoring bullies would make them stop... But it doesn't! It still hurts me so much!"

It was all Derpy could bear to say and just felt silent tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. Celestia just held Derpy close and cooed to her gently.

"It's ok to cry, Derpy. It's what makes us normal. But you can't let what they say get to you... Everypony likes to joke around with each other and it's usually a sign of affection. In fact, Luna used to always call me stinkbutt after the time I accidentally sat on someponies limburger sandwich!"

At this, Derpy couldn't help but laugh, a welcoming sound breaking through from her sadness. "You sat on a sandwich? How'd you do that?"

"Let's just say I've learned now to pay attention to where I sit, even when doing paperwork. But the fact is that no matter how much she'd call me stinkbutt or draw pictures of me with stink lines around my flank, we still love each other dearly."

"Are you saying Hammerhead and the other ponies love me too?", Derpy asked.

"Maybe not love... but they DO like you. Just think of what you've got that any pony would admire!"

Derpy tapped her chin contemplatively as she thought it over. "Well... I've got a cheerful demeanor, I'm never saying a bad word about anyone, I'm always making ponies laugh with my clumsiness and brightening their day..."

"And the iron butt, you can't forget that!", Celestia added with a chuckle.

"Yeah! My iron butt! Heck I can open up peanut butter and jelly jars and open doors without even using my hooves!"

At this, Celestia couldn't help but give the pegasus a look of puzzlement. But she was glad Derpy was feeling back to her old self. "That sounds... impressive."

"Hee hee, yeah!", Derpy giggled, "I could even show you sometime!"

"Um...", the princess blushed as she tried to think of a response, but the sound of the P.A. system above saved her.

**"Last call for all ponies! We will be leaving the station in one minute!"**

"Well, that's my sign to go, Derpy.", Celestia said as she got to her hooves. But before she left, she gave Derpy a small smile and rubbed the top of her mane gently. "Remember, Derpy... We all may make fun of each other at times, but that doesn't mean we don't like each other... It's just our way of showing affection."

"So when they plant fake barf in my lunchbag, it's a sign they like me?", Derpy asked hopefully.

"Um... that may not be as affectionate.", Celestia admitted again, "But you know what I mean, Derpy. The next time they call you Ditzy-Doo, just know that it's not out of spite... it's just a way of them having a little fun."

"But what if they say worse things?"

"Then just tell them how it makes you feel. If they continue, you know you can always contact me. I'm here for all my subjects!"

Derpy gave the princess a smile as she made to leave the train car and got up herself. "Princess Celestia?"

The princess turned with a gentle smile towards the wall-eyed pegasus. "Yes, Derpy?"

"You think maybe you could have your chariot give me a ride back home?"

* * *

><p>"After that, Celestia had a long talk with Hammerhead and he apologized for yelling at me. The other ponies still make fun of me at times, but they let me make fun of them too, making everything even-steven! Since then I've never even considered running away!", Derpy smiled at the teen next to her.<p>

Josh felt a little better from Derpy's story, knowing that Celestia would probably watch over him as well and that if there was anyone who would never believe Champagne, it was her... But the words from that article still stung.

"Derpy, being called a psycho isn't the same thing as being called Googly-Eyes.. That article, it makes me look like I'm a loon... and Champagne's probably got it spread all over Equestria now, not to mention him very likely destroying that news tape that showed what really happened!"

"I wouldn't be so sure...", Derpy smiled as she reached into her mailbag and pulled out a sheet of paper, "I found this online before I left home for cloud patrol and thought you'd like a copy of it. Go on, read!"

With a wince, Josh focused his eyes on the paper and began to read. What was printed on though shocked him deeply.

_It is exceedingly rare the Rutherford Times is forced to print a retraction and even rarer that it's one of this magnitude._

_A few days ago, we printed an article of what occurred at Bratwurst's Best Wurst this past Tuesday. Sometime last night, someone (who has asked not to be identified) gave us a copy of the security tape from the restaurant as well as a copy of a local news report that was interviewing Champagne. While most of the action isn't clear, it is made abundantly clear in the tapes that what transpired in the german restaurant was different from what we were told. At no point in the tape did Joshua James Rocket, 15, ever come in contact with the cashier and the only pony he spoke to was Champagne, who was indeed having an interview. An altercation did occur, but from what we could make out, it was instigated by Champagne and leading to Josh being impaled and electrocuted. No charges will be filed against him due to the vague circumstances, but we will no longer be taking reports from Champagne unless he has video or audio proof. Our deepest apologies go out to Joshua, to Rainbow Dash, and to Applejack for all the inconvenience and we would also like to give Champagne a stark reminder that the Rutherford Times and most of Equestria's newspapers prefer to refrain from spreading gossip and we'd like to thank him for making us ALL look stupid. While we cannot obviously remove the article from the past paper, we have removed it from our online page and are making sure no other news outlet gets it either. Once again, we extend our deepest apologies to Joshua James Rocket, to Rainbow Dash, and to Applejack for any and all inconvienence caused by this garbage of an article._

The smile that began to light up on Josh's face could have rivaled that of Derpy and Pinkie Pie's smiles combined. Before he knew what he was doing, Josh had reached over and given Derpy Hooves a giant bearhug, one the pegasus gladly returned.

"Derpy, I don't know how I can thank you! I gotta get back to Rainbow Dash and show her and Gilda this! Maybe... maybe I CAN help them!"

Before Derpy could say another word, Josh had released the hug, set the pack of smokes down on the cloud, and leapt off the patch of cumulus with a yell before spreading his wings and beginning his flight down towards Ponyville. As she watched the teen disappear, Derpy calmly reached into her bag and pulled out a pen and scroll, writing a small note.

Dear Princess Celestia,

You were right. I DO have qualities other ponies would admire. I have the ability to spread the truth!

Signed,

Derpy P. Hooves

Rolling the scroll back up and making a mental note to try and get it to the princess later, Derpy placed it and the white carton back into her bag and took off the cloud on her way to Hammerhead and the rest of the pegasi waiting for her... and for once..

She couldn't care less what they had to say.

* * *

><p>Rainbow Dash just sat on the urine-soaked bed, rocking herself, holding the letter close to her and trying to comprehend what Josh had written. She was alone again... and it felt awful...<p>

"What do I do?", the cyan pegasus whispered to herself, rocking back and forth, "Josh is gone! I can't do this without him... hell, I can't do this by myself! I don't know what to do! Applejack and I... we can't do this! We can't!"

"You can... and you will!"

Looking up, Dash found herself looking at the gaze of her lover and immediately she felt a wave of anger at the teen for worrying her so fervently.

"Joshua? What are you do-"

Josh didn't say anything. Instead he strode over to the plump cyan pegasus, took her into his arms, and gave her a deep passionate kiss, rubbing his hand into her mane and tusling her ear. The mare's hindlegs turned into jelly and she found all her anger, all her worry, all her sadness... all evaporate instantly. He held the kiss in deeply before breaking it, taking the letter he'd written, and tearing it into shreds before taking the pegasus back into his loving hands.

"Tonight, you and I... dinner. We're having a fine dinner, no ifs, ands, or buts! We've got the day off, we might as well enjoy it! I've gotta go get ready, honey... but while I'm gone... read this."

Josh gave her the letter Derpy had gave him and kissed her once more before leaving the hayloft, a new spring in his step. As she struggled to stay on her hooves, she just looked at the set of barn doors the teen had just departed from and did the only thing she could think to do after such a deep kiss...

She laid back on the moist bed and just let out a moan of pure, unadulterated bliss.


	19. Nutshots and NuMetal

As he left the hayloft, Joshs spirits felt higher than ever. Someone had helped clear his name of that slanderous article Champagne had gotten printed and now he was going on a date with the love of his life. He knew there was quite a bit he had to do to get ready beforehand, including a trip to the boutique and a shower... but there were two things he had to do first... and one was something he never imagined himself doing...

* * *

><p>As he flew down towards Fluttershy's cottage and landed gently on the ground, he couldn't help but hope Fluttershy and Meowth would forgive him for his attitude. He'd seen a letter during the night back at the castle reading that Meowth was staying with Fluttershy and needing time to calm down, although the words were slightly runny from the teardrops that had fallen onto the paper, the sight making the human feel even more embarrassed of letting Champagne's lies get under his flesh. But as he approached the garden in front of the cottage she called home, he couldn't see either her OR his cat-pokemon companion anywhere, just Angel Bunny angrily pulling up some of the vegetables with a shovel. Tentatively, Josh walked up to the rabbit fully aware from Fluttershy that he had a VERY volatile temper and was extremely protective of his owner.<p>

"Um... hey, Angel Bunny...", he said sheepishly. The bunny didn't respond other than to look up and give him a cold glare before resuming his chore. "Look, Angel, I know Fluttershy's upset with me and I bet Meowth is too... But I need to go talk to them!"

Angel just set the shovel down, stood in front of the wooden door, and glared again at the teen, as if to say "Why should I let you?"

"Look... I screwed up and let that prick Champagne get under my skin... But the truth behind what happened has been reveal and I'm ready to help take that bastard out. I'm even gonna take Dashie out to dinner as a way of apologizing for how I've been acting... But before I can even begin to get ready... I need to let them know I'm sorry... Please... let me through..."

The hot-tempered rabbit looked at Josh's face, trying to discern any more hostility from the human. But seeing only genuine sorrow and shame in his face, he sighed and walked back over to the shovel he'd been using for his chore, allowing the teen access to the entrance.

"Thank you..", Josh whispered as he approached the door and raised his fist to knock on it. But a tap on his back caught his attention and he turned around, looking for whoever was seeking him and inwardly praying it wasn't Thoroughbred again.

"Hello-"

That was as far as Josh got before a sharp agonizing pain ran through his body, starting right at his crotch. His eyes grew wide as dinner plates and he fell to his knees, clutching himself as he yowled in agony, his voice now as high and squeaky as Fluttershys.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooo!"

The last thing he saw before he collapsed into a fetal form from the sheer pain was Angel standing there... patting the handle of the shovel against his paw after using it to crack Josh right in his nuts. He could hear the door open behind him, his yowl alerting Fluttershy and Meowth and he struggled to speak to them.

"..uttter.h..y.. M..e.e.w.t..h..", he grunted, looking up at the sideways forms of the yellow pegasus and the Cat-pokemon staring at him.

The two of them struggled not to laugh at the pained expression on Josh's face as he held his privates, covering their mouths with their paws and forehooves, but soon they both found themselves falling backwards and convulsing with laughter to the point where their bladders were close to releasing all over Fluttershys floor. Through his agonized tears and sideways vision, he could make out his friends holding themselves laughing and the sight did not even remotely amuse him.

"I AM REALLY HURT HERE!", he moaned, "I think one of them popped!"

That was all it took for the two to laugh so hard they wet themselves, their convulsive laughter coming to an abrupt stop as they felt themselves become moist with their own urine stream and they both blushed in sheer embarrassment at having had such an accident.

"I... I think I just peed myself...", Meowth whimpered.

"I think I did too...", Fluttershy gulped in shock.

"Urgh..", Josh groaned in pain, struggling to get to his knees while still holding his scrotum, "Can... can either of you... get that cleaned up... then PLEASE HELP ME ICE THIS! If this is my punishment for yelling at you two, I get it! I'm sorry!"

With their faces reading a mix of understanding and sheepishness, they gave the teen a hug and helped him crawl into Fluttershy's cottage. But as Angel Bunny watched the door shut behind them, he couldn't help but rub the scoop of the shovel proudly, knowing he'd made his message clear to Josh not to mess with Fluttershy's feelings... ever again.

* * *

><p>It took about an hour for Josh to be recovered enough to where he could stagger out of the cottage, an ice pack and special lotions applied now to his crotch to help the pain still coarsing through his abdomen from Angels nut shot, and limp his way to Rarity's boutique. Since he was gonna take Dashie out to a nice dinner, he wanted to see if the fashionestra unicorn could whip him up something nice. But as he let Rarity measure him with her magic and ruler, even she couldn't help but voice her concern over Josh's discomfort.<p>

"Why don't you just settle down into a bed and just snuggle?", she asked gently, "I'm sure Dash would just be happy to do that instead of a fancy dinner!"

"Rarity, this is Rainbow Dash we're talking about! She doesn't just "settle down and snuggle". Even when she's gaining weight she wants to have fun... and I get the feeling right now fun to her would be eating a nice big meal. She very well can't fly right now!"

"This is true, darling. Her flanks are growing at an insane rate and I can imagine Twilight Sparkle alone would be boggled to see her aloft!"

"Speaking of which.. has anyone SEEN Twilight? Last I heard, she was traveling to Gryffindale to pick u-"

His question was cut abrupt by the Boutique door flying open and Rarity and Josh finding themselves staring at a beat-up and pissed off lavender unicorn, their mane half-shaved and their eyes blackened to a near-point of blindness.

"Twilight! In Celestia's name, what happened?", Rarity gasped.

"Good fucking lordy begordy!", Josh yelped, "What the hell happened to you?"

Twilight merely snorted before she spoke, her voice enraged and full of piss and fury. "WHERE... IS... THAT... BIRD? I... AM GONNA... KILL HER!"

"Honey, calm down! Just tell us what happened!"

"I... I got her bucking groceries... and I got... the shit... BEAT OUT OF ME... THAT MEDAL WAS AS USEFUL AS ONE OF THOSE GODDAMN BIRDHOUSES I MADE! Tell me where she is... NOW!"

"I... I don't know...", Josh sputtered. Not believing the teen for a second, Twilight used her magic to crunch Josh's already sore testicles to the point where they were close to exploding.

"Tell me NOW... or I will bucking POP them!"

"I-I SWEAR! LET ME GO! I DON'T KNOW!", Josh screamed, his voice high enough to where he could have passed easily for a soprano.

"Twilight, calm down! He doesn't know! He already got his crotch cracked by Angel Bunny, he's in MORE than enough pain!"

"Tell me! I swear to Celestia I will make it so you NEVER have offspring!"

"Ugk... Come on... please... let me go! It hurts!"

"Oh you think THAT hurts? I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT HURTS!"

The unicorn let out a roar and her normally purple mane turned a bright flame red, her eyes growing the same blazed hue as a burning sensation was shot into Josh's nether regions and making bloody tears come out of his eyes, his tearducts still badly damaged from his injuries.

"Twilight stop! Please!", Josh whimpered.

"DO YOU... HAVE... ANY IDEA... WHAT KIND OF LIVING HELL I GOT PUT THROUGH!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE, STOP!", Rarity yelled in the same voice she had used against Fluttershy, Josh, and Pinkie Pie nearly a week before, "LOOK AT YOURSELF! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I WAS! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"

Looking at Rarity looking at her in utter shock and then as Josh screaming and holding himself and his burning crushed scrotum, she felt her anger diminish a little and she groaned and released her hold on Josh's privates, allowing the teen the ability to gasp for air, dry-heaving from the severe pain going through him.

"I gotta find her...", Twilight groaned, "I gotta find her... I'm sorry, Josh... I'm j-"

"It's.. it's ok.", Josh sputtered, "Just... please go... All I wanted was a nice outfit for dinner tonight... NOT to have my nuts burned like bacon!"

Twilight nodded and stormed out, bumping into a wall-eyed mailmare coming in at the same time.

"Derpy?", Rarity gasped, "What are you doing here?"

"I-I was just picking up Hammerhead's new coat! What happened HERE?", Derpy replied in amazement. Even she could tell something insane had just happened.

"Twilight going nuts... and Rarity the voice of reason...", Josh groaned, "Has Equestria gone mad!"

"I didn't think a town could go mad! I mean it's not really a living thing! I mean the ponies in it are living, but a town?"

The look Josh and Rarity shared bore the same bewildered expression, almost as if they were awestruck at Derpy Hooves spaciness. But seeing Derpy there brought Josh's attention back to what he had planned to do before he'd gotten his nuts cracked by Angel.

"D-derpy?", he stammered, still gingerly holding himself with one hand and placing his other palm on the floor to where he was barely able to sit spread-legged to allivieate the pressure on his gonads, "W-w-when you were telling me that story before... you m-mentioned being able to open jelly jars without your hooves... what do you mean?"

The pegasus giggled at remembering herself telling that to the teen. "Well if Rarity has a jar, I'd be glad to show ya!"

Curious herself as to what Derpy had in mind, Rarity trotted into the kitchen and came back with a small jar of what appeared to be grape jelly, using her magic to levitate it in front of Derpy.

"Go on, show us Derpy! I want to see this!"

Cheerfully, the gray pegasus turned around to where her flank was facing Rarity and Josh. What she did next... would be etched into their minds for a LONG time.

Wiggling her big flanks, she spread her cheeks apart and fastened them around the lid of the jar, her hole almost pressing against the tip. Grunting with effort, she manipulated her big cheeks into turning the lid until it popped off with a small POP and then used her round orbs to pick up the lid and toss it aside before turning around and giving the two horrified bystanders a smile, picking up the jar, and pouring some of the purple goop inside into her open mouth, licking the excess off greedily before holding out the jar to Rarity and Josh with a jelly-stained smile.

"Anyone else want some?"

Rarity's stomach immediately went into reverse and she began retching, having to cover her bulging cheeks with her hoof, and rushed into the bathroom, soon filling the air with the grotesque sounds of her revisting her breakfast. Nonplussed, Derpy just held out the jar to Josh with a big grin, eliciting another reaction from the pained teen...

Fainting.

Watching Josh fall backwards into a heap, Derpy just shrugged and left the boutique, sounds of Rarity vomiting filling the empty studio... well empty sans for one unconcious human.

* * *

><p>It took an hour for Josh to regain his senses and by now his crotch was in enough relief thanks to more of Fluttershy's lotions for him to take to the sky and head back into the cloud castle he now lived in. As soon as Rarity had staggered out of the bathroom, Josh had quickly given her an idea of an outfit he'd like to be decked out in for his and Dash's dinner and taken off, wanting to get a shower after what he'd seen...<p>

It wasn't as much seeing Derpy's flankhole pressed against the lid of the jar that had made him pass out as it was just seeing her eating the jelly afterwards as well as one other stark realization that had hit him.

All those cartoons he remembered other kids talking about, where ponies were all sunshine and rainbows and singing... none of them were true. Equestria's ponies had jobs and strengths and lives just like any one of the humans he knew... and now he was on his way out to dinner with a pegasus he'd made love to, a pony he'd lost his virginity to! What cartoon could have depicted that?

As he strolled through the large castle on his way to the upstairs bathroom, his mind couldn't help but drift back towards that journal... the one that had revealed her bed-wetting wish. He couldn't help but wonder what else it held, even as he turned on the shower main and let the hot water begin its descent onto the sky-blue tile floor and walls. He knew it'd take a little while for the water to get just right and the temptation was too great. Before he knew it, he'd gone back into the bedroom and come back out holding that white leather book, the same one he knew held some of Rainbow Dash's deepest secrets. Plugging in a small waterproof radio onto the counter, a habit he'd picked up back in his own world for while he showered, he sat down on the sky-blue toilet, opened the book, and began to read, letting the metal music play... it words seeming to echo into the pages themselves...

_Water creeps_

_Through the windows, up the stairs_

_Chilling rain_

_Like an ocean everywhere_

_Don't wanna reach for me do you_

_I mean nothin to you_

_The little things give you away_

_And now there will be no mistaking_

_The levees are breaking_

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

_And six feet under water_

_I _

_Do_

Each passage that passed before his eyes gave the teen more info than he could ever thought possible about the cyan pegasus. All of it was beyond spellbounding, things he would never have been able to imagine.

_Hope decays_

_Generations disappear_

_Washed away_

_As a nation simply stares_

_Don't wanna reach for me do you_

_I mean nothin to you_

_The little things give you away_

_But there will be no mistakin_

_The levees are breakin_

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

_And six feet under water_

_I_

_Do_

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

_And six feet under ground now_

_I_

_Now I do_

More and more he read the book, time flowing by as the shower continued to pour behind him. It took a little less than an hour to read through the book, breathtaken by all the information it bequeathed to him. From secret desires to fears to habits to kinks to her wildest dreams... it was like reading her life story. Every bit of secretive info about the pegasus was revealed to him... except for one thing...

There was nothing in it about her parents. Not one mention of who it was that brought her into the world... in fact there was no mention of family at all. It was like she had no one else in the world... and suddenly what she had told him before began to take a whole new meaning...

_""Yeah, well when I saw you get fried... maybe part of my bravery died a bit... knowing I had something to lose..."_

At first he thought it was her expressing how much he meant to her... but now he began to get the feeling that she really HAD no one else to look up to. Not even the glory of the Wonderbolts, no matter how many times they had been mentioned in the diary, had rivaled the glowing entry she'd put in about him. He'd almost all but forgotten what it felt like to be adored.

_Little things give you away_

_Little things give you away_

_Little things give you away_

_Little things give you away_

_Little things give you away_

_(Little things give you away)_

Finally, he put the book back down and slipped his clothes off to head into the shower. But now hs mind was abuzz with what he had just learned and even as he stepped in and let the hot steamy water cascade over his body, he just kept thinking about what he'd uncovered and how he could help her live out some of her desires. He began to realize that her tomboyish, athletic demeanor... it was only half of what her true soul was and her desire for the Wonderbolts was only a speck compared to the scope of her other wishes. He wanted to make her happy in every way he could and he knew this contest alone wasn't just about showing up Champagne and saving Ponyville... nor was it about getting revenge for himself nearly being killed by his hoof...

It was about allowing her walls to break a little and let her real self; the snout-picking, bed-wetting, carefree pegasus with not a worry in the world be set free. It was about examining who she really was inside.

And as he let the water pour down onto his flesh, he knew that he would be the key to helping Rainbow Dash find herself.

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

_(Little things give you away)_

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

_(Little things give you away)_

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

_(Little things give you away)_

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

_(Little things give you away)_

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

_(Little things give you away)_

_All you've ever wanted_

_Was someone to truly look up to you_

"Dash... I won't fail you... We will win this... and then I'll set you free..."

_(Little things give you away)_

* * *

><p>The song in this chapter is "Little Things Give you Away" by Linkin Park from the album Minutes to Midnight<p> 


End file.
